"I wish you could taste what I taste right now!"

And that word is: love.

Oh, how I heart Neil Patrick Harris!!! And it makes me even more excited for Ellen — a smart, funny judge who can stand up to Simon. Music industry cred, shmusic industry cred, that's what I say.

Mimosa (my 12 year old) and I had to watch last night's episode on something called WiseVid — I forgot to take into account our awesome Prez's State o' the Union Address and tuned in too late. But I could not miss NPH! And I'm glad I didn't, because the pickings were sweet in Dallas, notably:

• Dockworker Lloyd, with the big Chikeze smile and a voice like Ruben's (who gave us the memorable quote above — alas, I didn't see what he was tasting at the time, but Mimosa assured me that it wasn't his golden ticket)
  
• Kimberly Carver — usually, the words "I'm going to sing an original song" are cause for a panic attack, but Kimberly's song was fine, I love her voice, and while she needs a makeover, for sure, I really really like her — she's my new besty
• Erin "Barney Kid" Rhodes — didn't love her baby voice but LOVED her whip and her sass
• Dave Pitman, young man with Tourette's who sang Sam Cooke oh so sweetly ("I think you're crazy brave," said Neil Patrick, oh so sweetly — DANG me, I love him so!)

Then Neil Patrick left, and young Joe Jonas took his place. At first we groused at this news — a double whammy! Neil Patrick gone, boo-hoo! A Jonas Brother in our face for half an hour, ughy-pew! (We are not fans. Of any Jonas.) (Well, except for Salk — he totally rocked.) But then a small miracle happened, and we grew to love Judge Joe because he was so freakin' funny. Not for anything he said or did, you understand, but for the fact that he said or did almost nothing. Half the time, the camera wasn't even on him when he voted. Even the stolid monosyllabic Mary J. Blige had more of a presence. And his total non-presence quickly threw us into hysterics.

So, lemons —> lemonade, and all was sunshine and lollipops again in the Chardonnay household.

Just in time for Todrick Hall, who sang the second original song of the evening and made us laugh. His voice is just OK, but props for a clever way with a lyric, young squire.

Other notable contestants:

• Dawntoya, who has just a nice average voice, but who sported a great necklace and the best name ever
• Meagan Wright, darling girl with a fantastic smoky voice and a possibly impaired brother — love her!
• Christian Speare, leukemia survivor, sounded a little old-fashioned to me, but a sweet girl nonetheless
  

Hmm, just a few more things:

• Fey Dexter Ward was just as cute as a gay little button, but we felt pummeled by his incessant winking; Li'l Martini ran in from the other room to see why we were shrieking, and insisted that we rewind and replay several more times
• At one point, I saw Kara vote with her boobs — trippy!
  

And finally:

• I really want to hear more from the guy who survived the blood blister — how did the Idol Inspirational Story Seekers miss this luckless fellow?
  

I think we have just one more week of this, yes? And then — we're goin' to Hollywood, baby!

Lady Dawntoya Chardonnay, OUT!