LaSalle and Alabama!

I could have sworn that Ryan introduced them as LaSalle and Alabama. He is such a mush mouth. And the boys' mics are not working.

Why did they keep Micahela Gordon on the payroll? Carly is okay - at least she was last season. I think I was not even wearing support hose when MG was on there.

SO the idolettes come out and sing ROCK STAR - which is a real song, much to my surprise. And Wilbur says, "I hate this crap..." And I can't disagree. It blows.

Then David Cookie Monster comes out to sing and Honest Liz needs an adult undergarment. He has a really nice voice. He stll looks like he has a giant brain. (Must be all the vocabulary!) He can really sing. The disembodied hands of idol wave back and forth like inferi in the cave of the horcrux!

Then they do horrible flashbacks to the horrible people that I hate. I am sure Norman Gentle will be carrying this bad boy home. And I called the velcro pants. According to HL, "It's going to be a long two hours. Steve Martin is rolling over in his...oh, never mind..."

Lil and her amazing boobs come out on stage and is met by Queen Latifah singing some song I have never heard. For a really long time.

Jason Mraz must be so freaking sick of this song he is singing with Anoop and the girl whose name I forgot weeks ago.

Keith Urban and Kris sing a song that I actually heard before. (Thanks, NASCAR!) They sound fine. I don't really like this kind of country music. Either stay in the roadhouse like Dwight Yokam or take it all the way over to the Jayhawks. This is kind of half-assed pop/country. Like Juice Newton. (Okay, I did love her...)

At the commercials Wilbur would sing "Skip it! Skip it! I'm an angry little boy! Skip it!"

What the hell is this song? Flossie, flossie? Great crapping Hattie. Fergie's shoes scare the living daylights out of me, and her face is scarily botoxed. Wilbur, "I sure hope she falls!" I love the way ALlison yells, "The Black-Eyed PEEEEEEEEAS!" They were interesting.

And then the horror show of women who made me crazy. And bikini girl has new boobs! And Ryan mentions it. And Kara shows us that not only can she sing, but she also has an awesome body. And I like her for the first time in weeks.

And Allison is singing with Cyndy Lauper and Felicity Goddess Mother has an anuerism and dies. We will miss her. Not to be catty, but Cyndy has definetly had work done. She's still odd, though.

So we were talking about who would sing with the near-idols and when Danny came out someone said, "He will be singing with Liam Neeson!" But it was Lionel Ritchie.

And now Adam is singing BETH and I am finally understanding the Sheriff of Sarcasm being in love despite his obvious preference for the boys. Dreeeeeeeeeeeeeeeamy! And KISS comes out and blows everyone's mind.

Now Steve Martin is not in his grave, but rather playing the banjo for Sarver, who sounds good. And Megan Joy sounds a little creaky, but she grows on me. And their harmony is nice. And Steve Martin wrote that song! I like the "took you out to dinner" part.

Commercials come and they are singing DO YOU THINK I'M SEXY? Why? Because Rod Stewart's grandpa is here! He sounds bad, but I do appreciate all the previous singing. When he sings, "The morning sun, when it's in your face, really shows your age." FHM said, "You too, Rod. You too..."

And more horrible flashbacks. And I am forced to see Tatiana again! And there is an unfunny bit where she pretends that she isn't supposed to be making a fool of herself.

And now they are singing QUEEN, because Adam is the lost love child of Freddie Mercury. Incidentally - you must all go read FREDDIE AND ME because it is awesome. The boys sound great, but I want to know who wins and go to bed now... HL says, "Oh man, Kara and Paula..." and Wilbur says "...are DRUNK!"

And now we will find out it is KRIS. We are all in shock. He is a love duck, but Adam is so much better. Even Kris says, "Adam deserves this!" So I love him a wee bit more. And Adam moved to the back of the idolettes. And according to HL and FGM he is crying and his sparkles are falling into Allison's hair.

I can't wait 'til Lady C. finds out what happened...

Brunie, OUT!