Ring-a-ding-dull

Everyone looks very swanky and viva glam tonight, but any resemblance to Ol' Blue Eyes ends there.

Frank was The Man, and I certainly don't expect our Idolettes to touch the hemline of his genius. And my friends, I am here to tell you: They do not. It was a pretty dull show, for the most part, which is especially disappointing at this stage of the game, when our Top 5 should be knocking it out of the park. What we saw tonight was a lot of bunting. Read on . . .

Li'l Aaron's up first, singing "Fly Me to the Moon," a swingin' li'l ditty, and Aaron, looking all grown up in his big-boy tie, sings it sweetly and competently and brings nothing original to it whatsoever. It wasn't bad, it was fine, but it wasn't a Top 5 performance.

(Who else is surprised that Aaron is still here? I have nothing against the little sweetie, I just thought he'd be gone around seven, maybe. Thanks, tween girls!)

Next, it's Casey's turn, and I am not a fan of the ponytail on this man, I must say. I have nothing against ponytails — Mr. Lady Chardonnay grew a ponytail for Mimosa (and cut it off for Li'l Martini), and I looooooved it — but it's not a good look for Mr. James. He's chosen "Blue Skies," another slight little number, and while I enjoyed his performance very much (generally, I'm a fan, and it was fun for me to see him sans gee-tar) – again, it was nothing to write home about, though he did mix up the arrangement a bit and make it more original. Well, more than Aaron did, anyway. The judges were even less pleased, and honestly, I fear for my handsome boy tonight.

As a side note, I have to say that I loved the whole bit with Simon and the Sinatra hankie; a very cool moment, and I believe that Simon truly will treasure it always.

Crystal's up next, looking gawgeous!! She's chosen "The Summer Wind," and it's a nice, controlled performance — I get a cool Peggy Lee vibe from her — but she never breaks out, really, which we're all looking for her to do, and given what she's capable of, this is all pretty underwhelming. She really looks great, though — and did I hear that she's sporting a diamond on her left hand? You know what they say about the single ladies, boyfriend. Man up already.

Big Mike is our penultimate singer (I look for every opportunity I can to use the word penultimate) and does a really lovely job with "The Way You Look Tonight," a song it's almost impossible to screw up. Which he doesn't. But I'm curious: Has Mike's voice/style/presentation changed one iota from the first moment we saw him? As a singer, he seems to have evolved the least. Again, I never was a big fan, so I probably cut Mike less slack than I cut Casey. But he always sounds pretty much the same to me.

(The judges are considerably more whelmed and praise him to the skies, which are bluer for Mike than Casey, that's for sure. I will argue that most of the accolades should go to the song. Then again, points to Mike for choosing the prettiest song.)

Comments Mimosa, after seeing Mike standing next to Ryan: "They look like they're wearing the same suit." (She's not watching Idol, she's only here waiting for Glee to start.)

When I hear that Lee is singing "That's Life," I groan a little; this song seems to be de rigeur for Sinatra/Rat Pack night, and it's not my favorite. But Lee does a fantastic job with it; it is just the right song for him, and he has another one of those nights. Well, good for Lee.

(I missed the judges' response because I was making phone calls; we're having a small crisis in my circle of friends, and if you're a praying sort, please pray for Li'l Martini's best friend, who's been throwing up since Saturday and is being taken by ambulance to Children's Hospital tonight. He's the sweetest boy; I know he's in the best hands and he's going to be fine, but you can't help worrying.)

Tomorrow night, watch for them to do that awful thing where, say, Casey and Crystal are on one side, Lee and Aaron are on the other, and Ryan makes Big Mike try to guess who the bottom two are and go join them. Hopefully, Mike will have the sense of . . . shoot, I can't remember who did this. Bo Bice? David Cook? What I mean is: the person who sat down on the stage and refused to play Ryan's petty game. That is the way to play that scene, my friends. Sinatra-style. Though he'd probably punch Ryan in the nose and call him a punk.

I think Casey's going home tomorrow night, and I'm sad but resigned. Aaron's tweenie girls will keep him in a bit longer, and Crystal's going to win this whole thing, so who else could be going home? It's my blondie bear, pretty much for sure. Oh, well. We both had a nice ride.

Lady Chardonnay, swinging on a star and out!