Fallen Angel

Wow. Did NOT see that coming.

I watched the last 15 minutes of last night's show, and when I saw who was in the bottom 3 (after doing a double-take at Casey), I nodded wisely. Yes, sage that I am, I called it: Mike is going home.

Well, we all know how that played out.

I'm sad but not stunned. Siobhan peaked early, fell quickly, and never regained her momentum. I hope that she goes on to have a lovely and colorful career — she's talented and focused, and I wish her all the best.

Now, Casey in the bottom 3 instead of Lee? America, you are on ludes. And that is one American girl's opinion.

Lady C, out!

I'm a Little Bit Country

Wow, Brunie and I are "simul"blogging, first time all season, I think! And her post only confirms what I already believed to be true: It's Opposite Day in the Chardonnay household, as I rarely agreed with the judges and agree with Brunie only once. Which means that Big Mike is for sure going home, but you didn't hear it from me.

Despite the above title and my obsession with the soundtrack of Crazy Heart and my subsequent doomed crush on Waylon Jennings (I just feel we have no future), I'm not a country music lover and knew very few of these songs. I still had a good time tonight, though, and I must say that Shania — based on what she elicited from our Idolettes — is one fine mentor.

Lee opened the show, looking and sounding a bit sleepy; he started to rouse himself toward the middle and it got better, but it was never electric, and Lee is capable of more than this. But then the judges cheer and huzzah, and I grow confused.

Mike's up next, and I start to frown. He just sounds — hmm, what's a word that means "not good"? That's how he sounds. I actually write the word "girly," then I feel bad. But his voice is all high and breathy and — oh, it does not sound good. But the first three judges are celebrating Opposite Day with a vengeance, and they smite my opinion! Ow!

Except: then Simon says "girly" and I have the proverbial cow. Mimosa came running to see what the ungodly noise was. (Me, cow — she went back to her magazine.)

(Neither of my kids will watch Idol any more. They are done with this season. I muster my wits and carry on, for the sake of the blog, don'tcha know.)

I do love that Mike made Shania cry. That was sweet.

Casey says he's going to step up, and I grow excited and hopeful, because I've been waiting for this for a long time. And it's not a particularly challenging song, it seems to me, but nonetheless, he does push his voice to places I haven't heard from him yet. I am really impressed. His performance reminded me, in an odd way, of Siobhan's version of "Across the Universe," with its quiet tempo and technical precision (though halfway into the song, Casey did rock it out). I really really really liked this, and the judges have finished celebrating their contrariness and finally agreed to hear what I hear. Ellen even used the words "Bob Seger," which I have applied to Casey in the past and which made me feel very musically astute. You know, like Ellen.

Crystal looks adorable and is oddly subdued. She sounds okay but not great. "Okay Crystal" is still better than, say, "Great Mike," but still. I'm disappointed.

(Though having Crystal falter makes the competition a bit more interesting, perhaps. I don't tend to watch the Wednesday night shows, even though I'm in that wacky minority that looooooves the Up with People group numbers — it's just me, Ryan Seacrest, and Snuggles the Fabric Softener Bear — but I am rather curious about tomorrow night's results.)

Sweet little Aaron sits sweetly on his stool, and I prepare for his weekly song of sweetness. And then my jaw drops, because, my goodness, turning 17 has made a man of our sweet baby! He sounds great and assured, and it's a very confident, mature performance. The judges are likewise impressed, and we all beam with pride. Which Aaron accepts, sweetly.

Siobhan is closing, and I have high hopes; I haven't seen her in a week, and her last two performances before that were not so great. And I really want to like this . . . but there is just so much going on! From her busy, busy outfit to her big country band to her relentless pacing to her big affected attitude (the better to sing this song, my dear) — it all kind of overwhelms her voice, which is just too small at the beginning to stand up to all that big busy-ness. And then she finds her signature glory notes . . . and they get away from her, a little bit. It was interesting, and kind of fun, I guess, but not the best Siobhan performance by a long shot, and I am starting to worry that she's lost herself.

So that was our show, and man! I feel like a woman. Don't you?

My favorites of the night were Casey and Aaron, both of whom made me cry a little. In my Mama Bear way, I'm just so proud of both of them!

Going home, as I said, will likely be Mike, who's been voted out before; tonight's performance won't have anyone power-dialing for him. And Lee will be in the bottom three. But will one of our golden girls join him there? This may be enough to get me to watch a results show after all.

Up with People 4-Evah! Lady Chardonnay, out!

Keeping Expectations Low...

I like Shania Twain based on what I learned from the book pictured here. It isn't about Shania, but it is a sweet story about a girl trying to make it in Nashville and each chapter begins with a mini-biography of a country musician who came from nowhere and made it big.

I like Shania because she was raised dirt poor and when she was 22, had moved away and was finally making some noise in Nashville, her parents died. She put her dreams on hold and spent the next 4 years back in Canada where she took in her younger siblings and raised them herself.

So I am pretty sure as a person she is awesome. However, I don't know any of her songs! I have heard MAN I FEEL LIKE A WOMAN and there is another woman-y one that I can't remember the name of. But I am pretty sure I am not going to know any of these tunes.

Lee starts off with STILL THE ONE which is not the one where "We're still havin' fun and you're still the one" that I remember from my youth. He does that Lee thing where he looks a little pained and sings with his scratchy old voice. He sounded fine.

(Hey, did you know Alison Irahita is on the cover of LATINA magazine this month? She looks cute as a bug.)

Big Mike sings IT ONLY HURTS WHEN I'M BREATHING which is one of those "clever" songs where it says crazy crap that kind of means the opposite. It is so odd that the arms of the inferi don't even know what to do. And his last note sounds like it is in a different key. But that could just be the song. Apparently hid did well, but I couldn't tell.

Casey sings DON'T which I have never heard before in my life. I cracked up when he said "I am only playing rhythm guitar." He sounds good, not great. But the crowd goes wild. The judges liked the country vibe. And they really liked the connection he had with the song. And then Simon tried to pimp him out to Shania who is MY AGE for heaven's sake!

What is Miss Crystal doing out here in the middle of the competition? Damn, Ryan draws attention to Shania's white teeth and Crystal doesn't even flinch. Although I do. She is singing NO ONE NEEDS TO KNOW and she does a cute little falsetto and I really like it. She sounds a little Joni Mitchell-ish. I kind of like it because it is different from her usual thing. But I wonder if it is a little light for the competition. And I want to slap Kara. And Simon gets all shirty! I hope it won't hurt her chances...

L'il Aaron sings YOU GOT A WAY or some such crap like that. He once again sounds really good if you just don't look. I really do hope he will be a little Tiger Beat poster boy when he leaves IDOL. I don't think he is going to be here much longer. Randy uses the word "wheelhouse" twice in the same show losing all credit that he gets for using it in the first place. Aaron says he was singing the song to his mom which is sweet and also kind of icky. Simon even liked him.

Siobahn looking like her wacky little self is singing ANY MAN OF MINE. Shania sounds so darned Canadian when she is giving advice! She is my second favorite Canadian singer of all time! Siobahn is going home because she is not doing much and she is dragging behind the band a little. She get's her big ass note in there, but it is too little too late. I can't believe they ended with her. Now I love little Siobahn and her wacky glassblowing oxygen deficient brain. But I didn't like it and I can't believe the judges bought it. Bleh...

I think that Siobahn or Big Mike should go byesies. But what do I know?

Off to watch GLEE...

Brunie, OUT!

V-A-C-A-T-I-O-N !

Queried one of our many fans, "Was the 'inspirational' week so non-inspirational that there is no update?"

Though many flip remarks come to mind (We hate inspiration! We are all about boot straps and perspiration!), the real answer is that around these parts it's school vacation week, and we devoted mammas have been tending to our young and spending that quality time.

(I read four library books and fell in love with a new cocktail, the Trystini: raspberry vodka, triple sec, and passion fruit nectar. Boy howdy, is it gooooooood!!!)

(In other words: AWESOME week.)

I have every expectation that blogging will resume this week, as the kids are back in school and we have nothing but time on our hands.

Then again, flesh is weak. Que sera sera.

Lady Trystini Chardonnay out!

Thank you, thankyouverymuch...

So I know that Lady Char has been carrying the rest of us for the past few weeks. It just so happens I am home at the same time that Idol is on. So I thought I would celebrate by typing as I watch.

So Crystal opened with SAVED and did my favorite thing, which is singing like the best singer that ever sang. I am very tired of Randy name checking Bonnie Raitt (who I like as a personality, but am not all that big a fan of). The judges gave her the tongue bath she so richly deserves.

Andrew sang a Vegas-y version of HOUND DOG that didn't make me want to vomit. Ellen made my least favorite judge remark when she used the word "swagger". Dammit! Kara just said "swagger" too. Blech. The judges hated him and I have a suspicion he will be gone tomorrow.

Tim is singing I CAN'T HELP FALLING IN LOVE WITH YOU. His guitar playing is good and Adam thinks he is so so pretty. And frankly, he is not bad. It hurts me to say it, but he is not annoying to me. Well, he still does that annoying thing where he says "uh" or "en" before a vowel as he is singing. And I believe he wimped out of ending on the falsetto. But he sounded good and compared to how he usually sounds - he was pretty awesome. I still loathe him, but he doesn't deserve to go based on this performance.

Lee is doing a bluesy version of A LITTLE LESS CONVERSATION. It isn't his best ever, but I do love his voice. I think it was a little bland myself. The judges seemed pleased. Quite pleased.

Little Aaron is going to sing BLUE SUEDE SHOES and in his promo he sounded fantastic. And he does in performance as well. If you don't look at him he sounds freaking amazing! I just can't watch his Elvis dancing. But he sounded great. Simon pointed out that he didn't do anything new, but he did the old stuff well.

Siobahn looks incredibly stunning tonight. She looks huge next to little Ryan on the stools. Or he looks tiny next to her. Who can tell? Okay, her face looks a little funny to me when she is singing SUSPICIOUS MINDS. She sounds good but looks a little like Mrs. Cunningham from Happy Days. She rocks it out about 3/4 of the way through and makes me love her again. Randy concurs. And while I could care less what Randy says, he is right. In response to Simon's dis she makes what, from anyone else would sound like a bitch-statement, "If I can't even label myself, I don't think it is necessary to be labeled." But she believes it, so I will allow it.

I bet Brian Dunkleman stabs a Ryan Seacrest voodoo doll over and over every night before he falls into his fitful, tortured sleep.

Big Mike (He has a baby, did you know?) sings IN THE GHETTO. Beautiful voice. Damn. Beautiful voice. Man, that was really good.

BABY, WHAT YOU WANT ME TO DO? is the question that Katie is singing. She sounds good and looks like the cutest dominatrix in the eleventh grade. I don't think it was half as good as last week, but not bad.

Casey is batting clean-up and he is singing LAWDY MISS CLAWDY. "Please don't excite me", indeed! He sounds all jam-band-y and I like it a lot. When he sings he's "down in misery" he has a little smile on his face that convinces me that his misery involves LOTS of patchouli smelling sex. It wasn't my favorite Casey, but it was pleasant.

In watching the review clips I am shocked to find that after Mike, my favorite is Tim! This is such a Mrs. Cynicletary moment. The two preformers who annoy me the most are my faovorites of the night! I also think Crystal, Lee and Aaron sounded great. Siobahn and Casey weren't overwhelming, but they were still good. Andrew and Katie are going home in my perfect world. We will see tomorrow.

Brunie, OUT!

Didgeri-diggity-doo!

Once again, I debated the merits of a likely dull Idol evening vs. crawling into bed with Lost and V and a hot cuppa (and I battled a migraine all day, I am one tuckered tootsie), but curiosity (or my Type A personality) won out, and I chose to hear the Idolettes tackle the Lennon-McCartney songbook. And the tide has turned, or the worm, or something, because these lackluster songbirds have finally stepped up and found their voices; tonight's weakest performer still wasn't half bad, and this was a pretty great show all around, I thought. Your mileage may vary, but me? I am drinkin' the Kool-Aid, man, and I'm a happier person for it.

First up is young Aaron, who sings "The Long and Winding Road" perfectly nicely. I think I say this about Aaron every week. He has a perfectly nice voice and is a lovely young man. I don't see any real star power, but it's a decent rendition of a lovely song. And — spoiler! — this perfectly nice performance, turns out, is one of the weakest of the night. So, not so great for Aaron, maybe, but good news for us!

Tonight's time-filling innovation is "Get to Know Your Idolettes" — little snippets about each of them in "real" life. I enjoyed it, and the person I enjoyed the most, consistently, throughout the night was — Katie! She is such a fun, funny girl; she can do hilariously spot-on imitations of the others, and seems to have warm, genuine relationships with all of them. Who knew?

And she's up next, singing "Let It Be," one of those perfect songs that it's hard to mess up, and Katie does well with it — changing the tempo just enough that it's not pure karaoke, but still respecting the purity of the song. It's a sweet, strong, confident performance. Wow, is she growing on me! I would not have predicted this. The judges are likewise surprised and impressed.

Andrew, still beaming with confidence from last week's surprise hit performance, does a bouncy version of "Can't Buy Me Love" and looks like the love child of Wayne Newton and Kim Jong Il, to the point where I can't even look at him any more. He sounds fine and it's a kind of fun version, but ultimately a bit silly. So he joins Aaron under the "Weakest of the Night" banner — but I've heard him be way worse than this, for sure.

Big Mike has chosen to speed up the tempo of "Eleanor Rigby" and sounds a bit like Tom Jones doing so. I liked the arrangement; the judges were mixed. I will say, though, that Mike's skill as a performer outweighs his skill as a vocalist, and at some point someone besides me will notice that. This is a singing competition, after all, as a certain Brit used to remind us weekly, before he became so obsessed with having "a moment."

When I hear that Crystal is singing "Come Together," a song I loathe, I groan and cringe and brace myself. Then I remember that Crystal is magic. (See: Tracy Chapman) And she is indeed fantastic. Best of the night, in my opinion. Didgeri-whee!

Tim "Can You Believe I'm Still Here?" is up next with a perfectly nice version of "All My Lovin'." His voice is fine, it's a peppy song (though he pronounces "I'll" like "all" — "To-morrow all miss you" — which I don't like; I'm a fan of e-nun-ci-a-tion) — again, I don't see any real star quality, but there's nothing really wrong here. The judges are a tad more impressed, and Tim seems gratified.

Casey Trevor Drake Fabio says that he's singing John Lennon's "Jealous Guy," a song I don't know, and a few bars in I grow very sad, wishing that John were here to sing it. But Casey does a great job, especially toward the end when he's all fired up and Bob Seger-y; I love his growly voice. To me, he was second only to Crystal tonight.

Mrs. C opined last week that only Lee is really getting better, but I think for the most part they all are, Casey and Katie in particular (in addition to Lee, I mean). And for that reason, perhaps, there is something to be said for having slightly-less-than-stellar contestants at the outset. I compare this season to the previous most-lackluster season, the one won by Jordin Sparks, and I think about those folks (Phil, Blake, Melinda, LaKisha, Haley, Sanjaya...), and I really do think this group is better.

(Because, that group? Really blew. But I digress.)

Siobhan's up next, and I'm nervous for her, given her not-so-great performance last week — and after she sings, I'm still a bit nervous, I must admit. Her restrained version of "Across the Universe" was technically almost perfect — "from a singing perspective," as Kara said, it was beautiful. But as a whole, it was just kind of odd — and Siobhan is an odd, quirky girl, and we all love that about her, but as I said — I'm worried. I don't think she's going home, but I do think she needs to be very, very brilliant next week. Which she totally can be.

I tend to read my book (tonight: Keeping the House by Ellen Baker, sooooo good so far!) during commercials without looking up, but this tag for a Fox news story made me howl: "Sent to Fake Prom." Oh, that poor girl.

(For some reason, it reminded me of one of my favorite Lifetime Television for Women movie titles: "She Woke Up Pregnant." Don't ask me to explain how my brain works.)

Lee drew the Pimp Spot this week, and, whoo! Talk about high expectations. Which he doesn't quite live up to, though his rendition of "Hey Jude" is really good, especially the ending . . . and I'm looking at my notebook to write these words, then I look back up at the TV screen — and there's a bagpiper.

(I totally thought I was on ludes. That was a trip.)

So that was our show, and I had a swell time: some lovely young voices, and some of the greatest music evah. Mrs. C said recently that people are either Elvis people or Beatles people, and I protested that I was both (which annoyed her greatly), but I realized later that I was talking only about singing; when you consider musicianship as a whole, of course the Beatles are the masters of the universe. (Sorry, King.)

The bottom two seats will likely contain Andrew and Aaron tomorrow night (though I think Aaron has a lot of rapid-dialing fangirls, so who knows), but I really have no idea who will occupy seat #3. Tim? Katie, out of habit? Siobhan (gasp!)? Mike? Truly, no clue.

Going home, I think, will be Andrew — which is too bad, in a way, as he should have been sent home for much worse performances than this one! But it's time.

Lady Chardonnay, out!