So this is the top that I plan to wear for my own Idol audition next year. I am going to sing “The Tennessee Waltz” because Simon likes his big ladies to sing sad songs. And everyone agrees that it sounds really sad when I sing “The Tennessee Waltz”. I am fairly sure I can pass for 28. Particularly if I am wearing this magnificent spangley silver tube top. And that is all I am going to say about spangley silver tube tops, or girls who wear them or for that matter, girls who wear lingerie they got from their stripper-mom. (Although I loved the way that Stripper, Junior said, “She was a single mom, she did what she had to do, I don’t judge.” I hope she was able to be that unfazed with it in middle school.)
Speaking of middle school – I think it is the perfect age to enjoy AI. Frank watched with me again last night. When little Kelly “my grandpa WHO I LIVE WITH because my life sucks and so you need to pick me” Pickler was adored by Simon, Frank said, “Well Simon even likes her, and he’s not a “people person”. Hee.
We both felt sorry for “That Old Black Magic” Poster-Board boy and wanted to gut his little brother. Although it was nice how he stuck up for his big brother, it was painfully obvious that they were home-schooled.
I think that Dummy-Boy (“Hello Paula – you will be timidly looking for me under your bed every night before you go to sleep for months!”) might have gotten in if he hadn’t had that freakin’ dummy.
I accidentally said “Paula, you are one crazy bitch!” in front of my kids when she was talking about being “blessed to be in your presence” to the (granted) awesomely talented granddaughter of Grammy winning singer. Hey she’s a Grammy Grammy!
I felt sad when the personality-free boy sang “God Bless the Broken Road” and played the death music in the background. They could have been kinder. If someone is nice but just ugly, they deserve better.
On the other hand the guy who sang “A Whole New World” into “Straight Up” should be taken out and shot. I told Frank that that is why you should just say no to drugs. “Stay off the pipe!” I screamed to him. He told me the closest he ever came to drugs is benedryl. And then he played belly bongos. But I did like it at the end when he threw his hands up and said “Superstar!” Mary Katherine Gallagher style. So I am going to give him the benefit of the doubt and consider him hopped up on goofballs rather than clinically insane. And after last night’s show, that is the highest possible praise I can bestow on anyone affiliated with that show.
Except Ryan! When the girl was calling him short I just wanted to ruffle his hair and put him in my pocket.
Brunhildecrow, OUT!
(I am totally stealing that from Lady C. and Ryan. but they haven’t complained yet. And it makes me feel zippy.)
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