Primordial Ooze

ooze,
originally uploaded by thejoyofidol.

I was so excited about AI starting again and I completely forgot about what a train wreck it is before they get to Hollywood. I know that this is a necessary evil. I think if it like the first bits of life coming together in the primordial ooze. I know that it is basically just a big pile of shit with tiny sparks of potential.

So who will it be? One of the rotund bearded twins? One of the baby-faced, arm-grabbing sixteen year-old twins? One of the corn maze sisters? I can’t remember anyone who sang well by themselves. Except for the young, gay Sinatra. He was so pretty, and he begged so charmingly. I smell Lady Char’s new son.

I started watching with my family. My seven year old went to bed when Simon made what I believe to be his only fat-girl crack of the night. It was so sad. Last year my son said (of every single person no matter how terrifying) “They sounded pretty good for a 16-year old” (or a 24-year old or however year-old they were). But this year he just watched with a sad, pinched little look on his face and went to bed at 8:30 with no argument.

My husband lasted until the effusive girl who used to show cows. Then he declared that Simon was the only one with a brain in his head and prognosticated that “some idiot” would win and that he was “pretty sure” that he would never ever give a shit. And off to bed he went.

My 12 year old son was the only one strong enough to make it to the end with me. Although he started throwing oranges at me when I suggested that someday he could marry a girl just like really tan girl. We both stared in horror when Paula and Randy invited Crazy Dave to Hollywood. Actually, Crazy Dave looked vaguely familiar to me. He really creeped me out when he rolled his eyes into his head while singing. An interesting performance choice to say the least.

At one point in the festivities, an ad for Kentucky Fried Chicken came on. Frank (my 12 year old) said, “No one eats Kentucky Fried Chicken anymore. Except people who live in Kentucky. And they just call it fried chicken.” Then later when we saw the promos for Colorado night he said “That place is so crazy that when Crazy Dave goes there to visit, they just call him Dave.” I love having another Idol fan in the house.


(posted by Brunhilde Crow)