"I don't think you're as good as you think you are"

Wow, my little brother used to say this all the time! Well, what he said was, "You're not so big." Still. Good burn, Simon!

Not a whole lot stands out regarding the last few nights (I have sharper memories of the previews for that lie detector show—Mimosa said, "I can't believe she doesn't care about the starving African children!"), and certainly no one displaced my Idol boyfriend, Cowboy Drew. I did make a new best friend, but it was short-lived. To my TOTAL SHOCK. Who was this new AmyMandisaGina? Read on! Because THIS . . is American Idol.

(da-dah!)

Some noteworthy auditioners, for reasons good and bad:

• The single dad with the long-haired mush-mouth daughter—it stunned us to realize the daughter was a boy. My son, Li'l Martini, was particularly disturbed. "Dude," he kept saying.
  
• Michael, a good-looking Australian boy with a very nice voice, who sang my all-time favorite Otis Redding song. I think he's this year's Ace.
• Alberto, the hippie nature freak, LITTERED as he floated away. Somewhere, an Indian is weeping.
• Michelle and Jeffrey, the big brown brother-sister pair—much to my surprise, they sounded lovely! It will be interesting to see how far they go.
  
• London, with the pretty voice and the dead father—doesn't she look just like "no R-rated movies" girl? I like them both, I just think we're seeing a lot of the same girl this year. Carrie, without the country.
• My new best friend, Lyndsey the Air Force pilot—loved her, loved her voice, was sooooo happy that my Idol BFF had arrived! And then—they didn't pick her?! I am simply astounded. I thought she was great. Certainly as good as:
• Amy Catherine, the virginity cheerleader, who has a perfectly okay voice but sang a song that was way too big for her. What are they thinking, picking one and not the other?!
  

Fox was irritating last night, our reception kept going in and and out, so I heard not one note of Miss "Here's my chest, here comes the rest" Aretha. Which I regret. Profoundly.

On Tuesday, I reallyreally liked Carly, the tattooed Irish girl, but seeing her again on Wednesday—I think it was the wine talking. Possibly not for the first time.

Lady Chardonnay OUT!