God Help the USA

I took last week off because as you all know, it blew. Thank you Mrs. C for picking up the gauntlet!

This week the kids are singing songs from the year they were born. The intros were more interesting than usual. What sticks in my mind is that Ramiele was a biter, Michael has a drive to win that is more powerful than a locomotive and Carly's mom is hot. And sadly, about my age.

So let's begin with Ramiele. She sounded a little pitchy on ALONE. Still a million times better than I would, and she is sick. But she is in the death seat, the first spot where people forget that she sang at all. Randy is a bitch, Paula doesn't tell her she looks pretty, which is a good sign. And Simon was actually supportive and nice.

Jason Castro sings FRAGILE and my lord, he is not the brightest bulb on the tree. He has cute eyes (like Wilbur!) and nice parents. The song (which I love) sounded fine but there wasn't a time when I started to squee like I sometimes do when Jason and his pretty eyes sing. My favorite part was when Simon said he needed to pick up his game if he wanted to win. He had a look on his face that said, "Dude, I am baked out of my mind and even I know that if I am still here after the top three my career is dead!"

I don't know several song this week. most of these kids were born in the years where I was listening to Bob Marley and the Grateful Dead and little else. I was a rebel, a loner... Anyway, Syesha is singing IF I WAS YOUR WOMAN which I am going to assume is a Whitney song because every time I hear a crappy song that makes the singer's voice sound great it is usually Whitney. Anyway - Syesha sounds beautiful and is charming and I like her a lot. Hate the song though.

Chikeze, who I love, was as cute as a bug in 1985. As much as I do think he is adorable - Beckeye described him perfectly in her blog as "tic tac teeth and low hanging gums" which I found hysterical. And I am okay with that because he has disappointed me this week with IF ONLY FOR ONE NIGHT which I have never heard before and don't care to hear again. Oh Chikeze, don't go all Luther Vandross on me. I am I not going to throw my underpants on stage or whatever you are going for here. In fairness, his voice sounds great. I am just bored to tears.

Speaking of dull as the day is long, Brooke sang EVERY BREATH YOU TAKE. She started out in the wrong key and had to start over, which the judges liked! Good grief, how about just starting in the right key?? There is nothing wrong with taking a familiar song and slowing it wayyyyyyyyyyy down for effect (just wait, of just wait!!!) but this is not different enought to be interesting. She sure is nice, though. I wish she were my nanny. I bet she is very kind to the children and does crafts with them and doesn't just park them in front of Barney videos like I did when I nannied!

What is that on the horizon? What is that beautiful sound? Oh be still me heart - Micheal Johns is singing and I actually am enjoying it! He covers Queen's WE WILL ROCK YOU/WE ARE THE CHAMPIONS and he sounds brilliant! (And I love his mom's cute Aussie accent and his "I'm too good for you" face from his childhood. Well done Micheal!

TOTAL ECLIPSE OF THE HEART! There's nothing I can do, I'm always in the dark. We're sitting on a powder keg and giving of sparks, indeed. Carly sings this with her usual skill and lack of personality. What is it about this girl??? She is completely likable in her intros and judge-chats. But when she sings she falls into this personality vortex that just sucks the interesting right out of her. Forgive me for becoming Paula here, but she looked great tonight. She reminded me a bit of Lady C with her glammy eye make-up. Lady C is the bomb, eye make-up wise.

L'il Davy underwhelmed me with YOU'RE THE VOICE. Simon nailed it with his "theme park singing with animated creatures" comment. He's not going anywhere.

Kristy Lee Cook is a genius. She sang GOD BLESS THE USA. If she goes home tomorrow the terrorists win. I can't tell you the deep pit of loathing I have for this song. I love the USA, I am glad I live here. But this song makes me want to slap a baby. (Not a real baby, I just mean that it makes me that angry.) First of all "at LEAST I know I'm free" we are not the only free country. There are several. Canada leaps to mind, socialized medicine notwithstanding. Secondly, the line " the flag still stands for freedom, and they can’t take that away" always struck me as a little paranoid until my viewing buddy Mr. Mama said, "Well, the government is trying..." which cracked me up because I consider him something of a right wing fella for liberal New England. But I digress. Kristy Lee sounded really good. She did! This sort of country-ish song is perfect for her. She was strong and pretty and I really thing she may have sent Ramiele or Chikeze home with this.

Remember when I used to hate David Cook? It was really smart of them to preface his performance with pictures of him looking like Baby Skeletor because it made the real Dave look not-too-bad by comparison. I have to say that tonight's performance made me pack up all my furniture and move it to Camp David because he rocked the living hell out of BILLIE frickin' JEAN! It was awesome. I believe, Lady C! I believe, Southern Fried Lawyer and Mr. Lawyer! I believe, legions of fans who have less strict standards for coiffures! I found him attractive and I completely attribute that to the excellence of his performance.

So I think that it will be a vindicated Kristy Lee (and frankly, I could even hear that song again which I never thought I would say), Raimele, Chikeze or Carley. I am hoping Chikeze stays another week - other than that, I am unconcerned.

Brunie, OUT!