And while I don't loathe Bucky (yet) like the rest of everyone I seem to know does. I did find TWoP's comment particularly void-inducingly funny:
Bucky sucks and is not happy with all the waiting when he could be out skinning roadkill for his supper or snorting the corpse of Kurt Cobain or whatever you do when you're that kind of trashy burnout backwoods-looking monster creature. Play the banjo and stare at passersby.
BC
Monday, February 27, 2006
TWop on Kevvie
Here is the funniest quote about little Kevvie (who is a diabetic child from Long Island!) from Television Without Pity:
Kevin Covais has never "done anything like this or experienced anything like this." Or anything like high school, or crossing the street, or using the stove when his mommy's not home.
BC
Kevin Covais has never "done anything like this or experienced anything like this." Or anything like high school, or crossing the street, or using the stove when his mommy's not home.
BC
Saturday, February 25, 2006
We'll always have Paris...
So the reason I have not posted since Hector was a pup is not, as one would assume, because I can't bear to follow Lady C. Although she is without a doubt the most observant, trenchant, brilliant AI viewer in the universe. It is because I just spent a week at what my children call "the happiest frickin' place on Earth" aka Disney World.
It was a great trip (thanks for asking) and yet, I kid you not, my children raced out of the Magic Kingdom so that we could make it back to the camper to see the girls sing Tuesday night! Yes, I am the proudest mother alive.
Of course we were so tired from running around that we all dozed off after Ayla. Pretty, pretty Ayla. Actually, Harry started dozing after Mandisa. But he woke up later and said (in the sweetest cutest sleepy voice) "Did Francey sing yet?" it took us a few seconds to realize he meant Paris. He loves her so.
Frank and I are both Mandisa-lytes. We adore her for her awesome voice and her kick-ass attitude. But Harry is in love with Paris. And we are certain that both of them will last well into the final 12.
We didn't get to see any of the boys. It was my mom's birthday and she just doesn't have the same priorities that we do. Shallow... But Frank wants it to be known that Kevin is his favorite on personality alone. Make of that what you will...
I prefer the actual personality of odd yet appealing Taylor. And the step-fatherly goodness of the nice country boy whose name I can't remember.
I can say that I am thrilled that "too pretty to breathe air" and "goth on the inside" - who will pretend that she hated selling out, or whoring herself, or whatever the kids are calling it today when she speaks of her experience to her friends later - are gone.
I know nothing of the portly man or the man who is all neck so I will refrain from comment. Except about their physical abnormalities.
And I am thrilled that things are moving on at such a pace!
Brunhildecrow OUT!
It was a great trip (thanks for asking) and yet, I kid you not, my children raced out of the Magic Kingdom so that we could make it back to the camper to see the girls sing Tuesday night! Yes, I am the proudest mother alive.
Of course we were so tired from running around that we all dozed off after Ayla. Pretty, pretty Ayla. Actually, Harry started dozing after Mandisa. But he woke up later and said (in the sweetest cutest sleepy voice) "Did Francey sing yet?" it took us a few seconds to realize he meant Paris. He loves her so.
Frank and I are both Mandisa-lytes. We adore her for her awesome voice and her kick-ass attitude. But Harry is in love with Paris. And we are certain that both of them will last well into the final 12.
We didn't get to see any of the boys. It was my mom's birthday and she just doesn't have the same priorities that we do. Shallow... But Frank wants it to be known that Kevin is his favorite on personality alone. Make of that what you will...
I prefer the actual personality of odd yet appealing Taylor. And the step-fatherly goodness of the nice country boy whose name I can't remember.
I can say that I am thrilled that "too pretty to breathe air" and "goth on the inside" - who will pretend that she hated selling out, or whoring herself, or whatever the kids are calling it today when she speaks of her experience to her friends later - are gone.
I know nothing of the portly man or the man who is all neck so I will refrain from comment. Except about their physical abnormalities.
And I am thrilled that things are moving on at such a pace!
Brunhildecrow OUT!
Thursday, February 23, 2006
Stunned
My jaw has been agape for more than an hour now, and I look quite the fool.
I simply can't believe that the incoherent Bucky—to me, clearly the weakest link of the entire 24—is still with us.
Who can possibly be voting for him? Who finds anything about this mush-mouth appealing? He is unattractive, and he can't sing.
I am at a loss.
(and grieving for sweet Patrick McAverage, who might have gone farther a few years ago—who knows)
Lady C OUT(RAGED).
I simply can't believe that the incoherent Bucky—to me, clearly the weakest link of the entire 24—is still with us.
Who can possibly be voting for him? Who finds anything about this mush-mouth appealing? He is unattractive, and he can't sing.
I am at a loss.
(and grieving for sweet Patrick McAverage, who might have gone farther a few years ago—who knows)
Lady C OUT(RAGED).
Where the Boys Are
Well. Not a night that will go down in Idol history, I'll wager. But some bright spots, nonetheless.
I don't have the energy to go boy by boy, so here's my overview.
The Shining Lights: Elliott has the prettiest voice and is a class act, Ace is still dreamy and sang the perfect song, Chris isn't my kind of singer but definitely has an interesting voice and gave a great performance, and Taylor, oh my—he's got the music in him! I love how comfortable he is inside his own quirky skin. These four are shoo-ins, and well-deserved.
(Lots of reaction shots from the girls tonight—way more than on Tuesday, when we mostly saw the boys barking on Randy Pavlov's cue. I wasn't sure what to make of how subdued they were while Dreamboat sang, unless they were mentally writing "Mrs. Katharine Dreamboat . . . Ace and Katharine Dreamboat . . . Katharine McPhee-Dreamboat . . ." the whole time. Hey, no judgment from this girl, he is hella dreamy.)
The Previously Mute and Unseen Four: Patrick, Bucky, Gideon, and Bobby didn't do much to break free of their status. And Bobby, though he is amusing, is on my permanent blacklist for dissing Barry Manilow. Barry is music! He writes the songs! Bobby can go way back and sit down. (Of the four, I'm saddest about Patrick McAverage, who has the quirky looks I find appealing, and a reasonably nice voice with potential. Ah, well.) As for Bucky, I'm glad that I don't have to write close-captioning for him—not a word did I understand. And Gideon? Here's what happened over and over last night: I wrote down something borderline-mean, then felt ashamed and scribbled it out—and one minute later Simon said it out loud. I continue to channel Simon, or maybe he's just saying what everyone is thinking and I'm not so special after all. (pause while I write down something borderline-mean) So I too noted Gideon's smile, and that's all I'll say about it, I'm moving beyond blame and beyond shame. And there are still four more boys to document.
Under the heading of Dis!Appointment!, I'll put David Crooner, who mildly irks me in the way that Harry Connick does. I feel like I, a Sinatra girl and the former Mrs. Dean Martin, am supposed to love them—like I'll lose my crooner cred if I don't wave their flags. But—I just don't. I fast-forward over Harry's song on the Sleepless in Seattle soundtrack, and last night I balanced my checkbook after 20 seconds of David. He could definitely improve, but I'm not sure he'll last that long.
Then there were the odd ducks, Sway and Kevin. As for Sway, see "channeling Simon" above, this time re: the word "pimpy." (Though I enjoyed the song, and he did better than I expected.) And Kevin, oh dear, how dear is Kevin? The song was dull but a nice showcase for his sweet voice. Sweet and dull, that's our Kevin. Will it be a Kellie Pickler thing, and people will vote for him because they never want to see him hurt, ever? What to do, what to do.
Finally, we've got Will, who I like very much and see great potential in. I hope Will sticks around.
I usually wait 15 or 20 minutes to vote, and last night I had no trouble voting for Patrick, Chris, and Will. I couldn't get through for Ace, Kevin, and Taylor. (The night before, I easily voted for Mandisa, Melissa, and Lisa, and couldn't get through for Ayla, Paris, and Katharine. Though Ayla is always going to be tough; my phone line is located right in the heart of her most obsessive fan base.)
I enjoy watchng the already-stars, but I'm also anticipating my true favorite part of Idol—watching a raw Idolette become a swan. Every year, there’s someone who starts off okay and then blossoms before our eyes. Last year it was Vonzell, the year before, Jennifer Hudson—who will it be this year? Ayla? Kellie? Will? Kevin? I can't wait to see.
So, who's going tonight? My 4-B fantasy: Brenna, Becky, Bucky, and Bobby. My let's-face-reality-and-drink prediction: Melissa (NO!), Stevie, Bucky, and Patrick. I've got my Kleenex, I'm ready.
Lady Chardonnay OUT.
I don't have the energy to go boy by boy, so here's my overview.
The Shining Lights: Elliott has the prettiest voice and is a class act, Ace is still dreamy and sang the perfect song, Chris isn't my kind of singer but definitely has an interesting voice and gave a great performance, and Taylor, oh my—he's got the music in him! I love how comfortable he is inside his own quirky skin. These four are shoo-ins, and well-deserved.
(Lots of reaction shots from the girls tonight—way more than on Tuesday, when we mostly saw the boys barking on Randy Pavlov's cue. I wasn't sure what to make of how subdued they were while Dreamboat sang, unless they were mentally writing "Mrs. Katharine Dreamboat . . . Ace and Katharine Dreamboat . . . Katharine McPhee-Dreamboat . . ." the whole time. Hey, no judgment from this girl, he is hella dreamy.)
The Previously Mute and Unseen Four: Patrick, Bucky, Gideon, and Bobby didn't do much to break free of their status. And Bobby, though he is amusing, is on my permanent blacklist for dissing Barry Manilow. Barry is music! He writes the songs! Bobby can go way back and sit down. (Of the four, I'm saddest about Patrick McAverage, who has the quirky looks I find appealing, and a reasonably nice voice with potential. Ah, well.) As for Bucky, I'm glad that I don't have to write close-captioning for him—not a word did I understand. And Gideon? Here's what happened over and over last night: I wrote down something borderline-mean, then felt ashamed and scribbled it out—and one minute later Simon said it out loud. I continue to channel Simon, or maybe he's just saying what everyone is thinking and I'm not so special after all. (pause while I write down something borderline-mean) So I too noted Gideon's smile, and that's all I'll say about it, I'm moving beyond blame and beyond shame. And there are still four more boys to document.
Under the heading of Dis!Appointment!, I'll put David Crooner, who mildly irks me in the way that Harry Connick does. I feel like I, a Sinatra girl and the former Mrs. Dean Martin, am supposed to love them—like I'll lose my crooner cred if I don't wave their flags. But—I just don't. I fast-forward over Harry's song on the Sleepless in Seattle soundtrack, and last night I balanced my checkbook after 20 seconds of David. He could definitely improve, but I'm not sure he'll last that long.
Then there were the odd ducks, Sway and Kevin. As for Sway, see "channeling Simon" above, this time re: the word "pimpy." (Though I enjoyed the song, and he did better than I expected.) And Kevin, oh dear, how dear is Kevin? The song was dull but a nice showcase for his sweet voice. Sweet and dull, that's our Kevin. Will it be a Kellie Pickler thing, and people will vote for him because they never want to see him hurt, ever? What to do, what to do.
Finally, we've got Will, who I like very much and see great potential in. I hope Will sticks around.
I usually wait 15 or 20 minutes to vote, and last night I had no trouble voting for Patrick, Chris, and Will. I couldn't get through for Ace, Kevin, and Taylor. (The night before, I easily voted for Mandisa, Melissa, and Lisa, and couldn't get through for Ayla, Paris, and Katharine. Though Ayla is always going to be tough; my phone line is located right in the heart of her most obsessive fan base.)
I enjoy watchng the already-stars, but I'm also anticipating my true favorite part of Idol—watching a raw Idolette become a swan. Every year, there’s someone who starts off okay and then blossoms before our eyes. Last year it was Vonzell, the year before, Jennifer Hudson—who will it be this year? Ayla? Kellie? Will? Kevin? I can't wait to see.
So, who's going tonight? My 4-B fantasy: Brenna, Becky, Bucky, and Bobby. My let's-face-reality-and-drink prediction: Melissa (NO!), Stevie, Bucky, and Patrick. I've got my Kleenex, I'm ready.
Lady Chardonnay OUT.
Wednesday, February 22, 2006
"I watch American Idol like a stalker."
With these words, Heather, aka #8, aka Sunglasses Girl, endeared herself to me ever so much. Alas: not enough to vote for her. But I’m getting ahead of myself.
I lunched with Mrs. Cynicletary today, who relayed her own post in one succinct, prosaic sentence: “I liked the black girls and the last one.”
And . . . so did I, so I guess the just-hit-the-high-notes crowd can stop reading here. But I have so much more to say—with feeling! (“Her hair was like warm maple syrup . . .”)
In one of the night’s great moments, Ryan opened by saying, “Let’s see how they all got here.” And silly me, being as this is a singing show at all, I expected some singing clips—but Mr. Literal Seacrest tells no lies, and see is exactly what we did—an inane montage set to someone else’s music. The only note we heard was little Lisa Tucker shrieking “Eeeeee!” when she found out she’d made the Final 24 (adorably and with much charisma, I noted; you can always tell the great ones).
And we were off!
Mandisa: I’ve already documented my love for this lady, and she didn’t disappoint. In addition to The Voice, she radiates energy, confidence, and joy. First-rate performance.
Kellie: I like Kellie. I want her to have a happy life of sweetness and muffins. But that was not a great performance—she started too low for her voice, and she has that nasal thing some country girls have. (I’m not a country fan, this nasal thing may be highly envied, what do I know.) But people have had a chance to fall in love with lil’ Pickler and they’ll cut her some slack; I think she’s here for a while.
[Mrs. Cynicletary and I had many go-rounds on this topic last year. She thinks if you’re good enough (e.g.: Bo), you don’t need all the back-story stuff; your talent will be enough. I say: Bo made it to #2 last year, and that’s holding the bar awfully high. With very few exceptions, the first people cut last year were people we’d never seen before. Unless Brenna Bratz sufficiently un-charms enough people, I predict we’ll say a quick goodbye to the previously invisible and mute Melissa, Kinnik, Heather, and Stevie. I desperately hope I’m wrong in at least one case. We shall see.]
Becky: She’s beautiful. How can you write about Becky without noting her hit-you-in-the-face beauty? She’s lovely to look at, and she and her sister could be modeling stars. And: her voice was just okay. Bad song choice (though I loved her story about why she chose it)—we needed a power voice here. I kept thinking “kitten with a whip.” Also: barrettes—let’s get one! (I also kept thinking about that great Saturday Night Live sketch, “The World as Seen by John Cougar Mellencamp.”) I don’t get the forelock-in-the-face look, except maybe if you’re going for a I-just-rolled-out-of-my-sex-bed look. To get the perv vote. I don’t know.
Ayla: Ayla intrigues me. Ayla will show us how far confidence, hard work, and good genes can take you when you don’t have the best voice in the room. She clearly listened to the judges and took what they said to heart. Her best performance so far. (And how cute was it to see Kellie singing along?!)
Paris: (who I can’t help thinking of as the “good” Paris) I’m probably the only one on the planet who found all her bobbing and weaving distracting, but there’s no denying that that was a sublime performance. She reminded me of Bo: a quiet, low-key offstage presence, and powerful onstage charisma. She looked adorable and sounded great. Randy said, “It’s like you’ve been doing this all your life!”, which, again, not to toot my own analogy horn, is what Simon said to Bo last year. This girl is a star.
Stevie: I was sorry to miss her performance, because my pal Cindy is making me take a second look at this girl (opera-trained? who knew?), but my mom called right then to talk about my 91-year-old grandpa’s sudden decline, and, well, sorry, Stevie. Missed the whole thing. (Mrs. Cynicletary declared her “weakest of the night” and was amazed to hear about the opera training, as she thought that Stevie ran out of breath a few times.)
Brenna: Did she sound not-great because I dislike her so much, or is that just a perk?
Heather: Fine. Adds an “h” in front of her vowels: “Hevery time you touch me, Hi just want to cry . . .” Forgettable. (I wrote this, then Simon said it. I am clearly channeling a chesty Englishman.) Though I liked her spirited defense of her song choice: “Vonzell knocked it out of the park last year!” Love me an AI fan. But. Still. Bye, Heather.
Melissa: Oh, sad me. I really, really like Melissa the Person, and Melissa the Previously Invisible and Mute Singer is fine and has lots of potential. But of the four Previously Unknown Girls, I fear that America will be distracted by Heather’s Malibu P.J. prettiness and Kinnik’s cool beauty, and Melissa will go before they do. I voted for her four times. I am also prepared for heartbreak and have already bought the drinks. Ah, well.
Lisa: How dear is Lisa Tucker? (Sooooooo dear!) And lovely and confident and possessor of a wonderful, interesting voice. Though I had to laugh when she said, “I’ve loved this song since the time I heard it”—it’s nice to have reminders that she really is 16, and that I’ve had way more pay raises than she’s had, not to mention proposals of marriage. (This is what I cling to.) Not that I’m feeling old. Or tired. Or pudgy. Not at all. (She is so dear! I love this girl.)
Kinnik: Lovely, elegant lady, I really want her earrings, but she didn’t push the envelope enough to make an impression on anyone, I fear. Bye, Kinnik.
Katharine: She was really great, so I’m sort of amused to see that the two notes I jotted are both negative: (1) Don’t smile when you sing “I can’t get you out of my heart”—this is a torchy song. (2) Why are there 95 extra syllables in “Since I fe-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-ell for you,” and why must your chin bob along to each of them? Still, she’s the real thing: excellent training and first-rate talent. And confident! and cute! and sparky! I like her.
Shoo-ins for the Top 6 seem to be Mandisa, Paris, Lisa, Katharine, and likely Ayla. I’ll be surprised if Kellie’s not up there, but you never know. I’m rooting for Melissa, but I’ve faced Idol heartbreak before. It’s made me stronger, also bitter and jaded. But that is another story.
Boys tonight. I’m most excited about the charisma-challenged 12 year old, to see how far he can go; Ace Dreamboat—is he more than just a pretty face?; and George Clooney’s brother, because I’m wildly curious about him. Such fun!
Lady Chardonnay OUT.
I lunched with Mrs. Cynicletary today, who relayed her own post in one succinct, prosaic sentence: “I liked the black girls and the last one.”
And . . . so did I, so I guess the just-hit-the-high-notes crowd can stop reading here. But I have so much more to say—with feeling! (“Her hair was like warm maple syrup . . .”)
In one of the night’s great moments, Ryan opened by saying, “Let’s see how they all got here.” And silly me, being as this is a singing show at all, I expected some singing clips—but Mr. Literal Seacrest tells no lies, and see is exactly what we did—an inane montage set to someone else’s music. The only note we heard was little Lisa Tucker shrieking “Eeeeee!” when she found out she’d made the Final 24 (adorably and with much charisma, I noted; you can always tell the great ones).
And we were off!
Mandisa: I’ve already documented my love for this lady, and she didn’t disappoint. In addition to The Voice, she radiates energy, confidence, and joy. First-rate performance.
Kellie: I like Kellie. I want her to have a happy life of sweetness and muffins. But that was not a great performance—she started too low for her voice, and she has that nasal thing some country girls have. (I’m not a country fan, this nasal thing may be highly envied, what do I know.) But people have had a chance to fall in love with lil’ Pickler and they’ll cut her some slack; I think she’s here for a while.
[Mrs. Cynicletary and I had many go-rounds on this topic last year. She thinks if you’re good enough (e.g.: Bo), you don’t need all the back-story stuff; your talent will be enough. I say: Bo made it to #2 last year, and that’s holding the bar awfully high. With very few exceptions, the first people cut last year were people we’d never seen before. Unless Brenna Bratz sufficiently un-charms enough people, I predict we’ll say a quick goodbye to the previously invisible and mute Melissa, Kinnik, Heather, and Stevie. I desperately hope I’m wrong in at least one case. We shall see.]
Becky: She’s beautiful. How can you write about Becky without noting her hit-you-in-the-face beauty? She’s lovely to look at, and she and her sister could be modeling stars. And: her voice was just okay. Bad song choice (though I loved her story about why she chose it)—we needed a power voice here. I kept thinking “kitten with a whip.” Also: barrettes—let’s get one! (I also kept thinking about that great Saturday Night Live sketch, “The World as Seen by John Cougar Mellencamp.”) I don’t get the forelock-in-the-face look, except maybe if you’re going for a I-just-rolled-out-of-my-sex-bed look. To get the perv vote. I don’t know.
Ayla: Ayla intrigues me. Ayla will show us how far confidence, hard work, and good genes can take you when you don’t have the best voice in the room. She clearly listened to the judges and took what they said to heart. Her best performance so far. (And how cute was it to see Kellie singing along?!)
Paris: (who I can’t help thinking of as the “good” Paris) I’m probably the only one on the planet who found all her bobbing and weaving distracting, but there’s no denying that that was a sublime performance. She reminded me of Bo: a quiet, low-key offstage presence, and powerful onstage charisma. She looked adorable and sounded great. Randy said, “It’s like you’ve been doing this all your life!”, which, again, not to toot my own analogy horn, is what Simon said to Bo last year. This girl is a star.
Stevie: I was sorry to miss her performance, because my pal Cindy is making me take a second look at this girl (opera-trained? who knew?), but my mom called right then to talk about my 91-year-old grandpa’s sudden decline, and, well, sorry, Stevie. Missed the whole thing. (Mrs. Cynicletary declared her “weakest of the night” and was amazed to hear about the opera training, as she thought that Stevie ran out of breath a few times.)
Brenna: Did she sound not-great because I dislike her so much, or is that just a perk?
Heather: Fine. Adds an “h” in front of her vowels: “Hevery time you touch me, Hi just want to cry . . .” Forgettable. (I wrote this, then Simon said it. I am clearly channeling a chesty Englishman.) Though I liked her spirited defense of her song choice: “Vonzell knocked it out of the park last year!” Love me an AI fan. But. Still. Bye, Heather.
Melissa: Oh, sad me. I really, really like Melissa the Person, and Melissa the Previously Invisible and Mute Singer is fine and has lots of potential. But of the four Previously Unknown Girls, I fear that America will be distracted by Heather’s Malibu P.J. prettiness and Kinnik’s cool beauty, and Melissa will go before they do. I voted for her four times. I am also prepared for heartbreak and have already bought the drinks. Ah, well.
Lisa: How dear is Lisa Tucker? (Sooooooo dear!) And lovely and confident and possessor of a wonderful, interesting voice. Though I had to laugh when she said, “I’ve loved this song since the time I heard it”—it’s nice to have reminders that she really is 16, and that I’ve had way more pay raises than she’s had, not to mention proposals of marriage. (This is what I cling to.) Not that I’m feeling old. Or tired. Or pudgy. Not at all. (She is so dear! I love this girl.)
Kinnik: Lovely, elegant lady, I really want her earrings, but she didn’t push the envelope enough to make an impression on anyone, I fear. Bye, Kinnik.
Katharine: She was really great, so I’m sort of amused to see that the two notes I jotted are both negative: (1) Don’t smile when you sing “I can’t get you out of my heart”—this is a torchy song. (2) Why are there 95 extra syllables in “Since I fe-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-ell for you,” and why must your chin bob along to each of them? Still, she’s the real thing: excellent training and first-rate talent. And confident! and cute! and sparky! I like her.
Shoo-ins for the Top 6 seem to be Mandisa, Paris, Lisa, Katharine, and likely Ayla. I’ll be surprised if Kellie’s not up there, but you never know. I’m rooting for Melissa, but I’ve faced Idol heartbreak before. It’s made me stronger, also bitter and jaded. But that is another story.
Boys tonight. I’m most excited about the charisma-challenged 12 year old, to see how far he can go; Ace Dreamboat—is he more than just a pretty face?; and George Clooney’s brother, because I’m wildly curious about him. Such fun!
Lady Chardonnay OUT.
Thursday, February 16, 2006
20-20-20-4 People to Go . . . I Wanna Be Sedated
What follows is my attempt to provide closure.
The ladies of the "Final" 24 comprise Paris Not-Hilton (Granddaughter of Someone Famous), Julie (I think) (Best 16 Year Old Ever), Kellie Pickler (My Daddy's In Prison), Mandesa (Big Voice, Big Poncho), Katherine McPhee (My Mother Is My Voice Coach), Brenna I-Want-People-to-Answer-MY-Phones (my GOD what a pain in the ass—you need a voice like gold to pull off this much arrogance, sister), AylaArlaAnya, something like that (Boston royalty, who also plays basketball), Rebecca "Call Me Becky, and Try to Forget How Gorgeous I Am, I Dare You" (beautiful twin with okay voice), a blonde girl with sunglasses on her head, a scared-looking girl who's very tall and very young (Stevie?), the dark-haired girl who was the last one picked, and someone I've totally forgotten.
Not picked: either Corn Maze sister (boo!), 41 Foster Homes, Fishnetted Dental Assistant, The Bigot's Granddaughter, Laryngitis Girl, Belly-Dancing Girl, and, my biggest disappointment on so many levels, my new BFF Tyra Juliet Schwartz, who . . . didn't wear so well over time. Though no one knows better than I the frustration of working with MORONS WHO DON'T PULL THEIR WEIGHT.
Ah well.
As for the guys, we've got I'm 12 and Have No Charisma Guy, with the sweet voice; Ace Dreamboat (this year's Constantine, except with some humility and charm); "Sway" (bald Latino guy); Gideon Confidence; Sing Sinatra in the Car Crooner; George Clooney's Doofy Brother; two tall dark-haired guys (one is very young and was the last one picked; the other is fine, but I can think of no more descriptive adjective than "average," which doesn't bode well); Chris Daughtry (bald guy with cowboy hat); the guy who was in the group with an XL twin, went to bed instead of practicing, and outperformed the twin anyway; the fellow we only met in the elevator; and that blonde guy with the mustache.
Who didn't make it: Dancing With Paula guy, Cowboy Confidence, Animatronic Cowboy Who Sings to Chickens, The Fireman's Son, the XL twins (though we never saw them officially cut—maybe there wasn't enough printable tape, what with all the bleeping, or the camera exploded from the combined force of all that hot air—who knows), Crazy Dave (blow me down), and several black men with sunglasses and dreads—who were they? Where did they come from? Why did we never hear them sing?
I'm head over heels for Mandesa, who's got the personality and the voice, but no one else has claimed my heart yet, which is a comfortable place to be. Idol is on three nights next week, a situation that I call TV nirvana! The wine is chillin' and so am I.
Lady Chardonnay OUT.
The ladies of the "Final" 24 comprise Paris Not-Hilton (Granddaughter of Someone Famous), Julie (I think) (Best 16 Year Old Ever), Kellie Pickler (My Daddy's In Prison), Mandesa (Big Voice, Big Poncho), Katherine McPhee (My Mother Is My Voice Coach), Brenna I-Want-People-to-Answer-MY-Phones (my GOD what a pain in the ass—you need a voice like gold to pull off this much arrogance, sister), AylaArlaAnya, something like that (Boston royalty, who also plays basketball), Rebecca "Call Me Becky, and Try to Forget How Gorgeous I Am, I Dare You" (beautiful twin with okay voice), a blonde girl with sunglasses on her head, a scared-looking girl who's very tall and very young (Stevie?), the dark-haired girl who was the last one picked, and someone I've totally forgotten.
Not picked: either Corn Maze sister (boo!), 41 Foster Homes, Fishnetted Dental Assistant, The Bigot's Granddaughter, Laryngitis Girl, Belly-Dancing Girl, and, my biggest disappointment on so many levels, my new BFF Tyra Juliet Schwartz, who . . . didn't wear so well over time. Though no one knows better than I the frustration of working with MORONS WHO DON'T PULL THEIR WEIGHT.
Ah well.
As for the guys, we've got I'm 12 and Have No Charisma Guy, with the sweet voice; Ace Dreamboat (this year's Constantine, except with some humility and charm); "Sway" (bald Latino guy); Gideon Confidence; Sing Sinatra in the Car Crooner; George Clooney's Doofy Brother; two tall dark-haired guys (one is very young and was the last one picked; the other is fine, but I can think of no more descriptive adjective than "average," which doesn't bode well); Chris Daughtry (bald guy with cowboy hat); the guy who was in the group with an XL twin, went to bed instead of practicing, and outperformed the twin anyway; the fellow we only met in the elevator; and that blonde guy with the mustache.
Who didn't make it: Dancing With Paula guy, Cowboy Confidence, Animatronic Cowboy Who Sings to Chickens, The Fireman's Son, the XL twins (though we never saw them officially cut—maybe there wasn't enough printable tape, what with all the bleeping, or the camera exploded from the combined force of all that hot air—who knows), Crazy Dave (blow me down), and several black men with sunglasses and dreads—who were they? Where did they come from? Why did we never hear them sing?
I'm head over heels for Mandesa, who's got the personality and the voice, but no one else has claimed my heart yet, which is a comfortable place to be. Idol is on three nights next week, a situation that I call TV nirvana! The wine is chillin' and so am I.
Lady Chardonnay OUT.
Thursday, February 09, 2006
"Colors" Is the New "Pitchy"
My new drinking game involves Paula and the word "colors." Won't you play with me?
Hollywood AT LAST! (The final audition rounds were so lackluster, I'm hard-pressed to remember a thing beyond George Clooney's doofy brother. I liked the girl with striped hair who sings to old people, who didn't make it, and I liked the girl who was singing to shame her bigoted grandmother, who did make it, and to me, they were virtually the same girl—very appealing, moderately talented. Once again, my future as an Idol judge appears . . .iffy.)
I love the Hollywood rounds. I especially love when we see who's fighting with their roommates, who's blowing off rehearsal to hang out with cute boys in the hot tub, who's having a hard time without their pharmaceuticals . . . yeah, sure, good singing is what it's all about, but there's plenty of time for that ahead; right now, it's all about Miss Behavior and Miss Management, and I eat it up with an ice cream spoon.
Is it just me, though, or did it all seem a bit rushed? I'm thinking there are fewer deep backgrounds this year; still, we learned a tiny bit about a few people, and for closure's sake I'd at least like to know if they made it through the first round. I caught a quick glimpse of one Corn Maze Sister, and I think she's through, but it looks like Fireman's Son got cut. And was that Cowboy Confidence (with the Australian accent) standing between Ladies Man and Sgt. Steven when they all got cut? He was my boy favorite, and we never even got to hear him sing! I also didn't see 41 Foster Homes or Pre-Teen Mom ("I'm 25 and my son is 16"—I'm thinking I heard that one wrong), though Granddaughter of Someone Famous and My Mom Is My Voice Teacher (whom TV Guide named as two to watch) both got through, as did the animatronic cowboy who sings to chickens, Sinatra in the Car Crooner, and Fishnetted Dental Assistant.
On my last nerve: the XL twins, who can't leave soon enough for me, and Laryngitis Girl; I have empathy for the impaired, until they tell me they're one of the "better" ones. Okay, on the Crazy Dave scale she barely rates, but still.
And where oh where is my new BFF Tyra Juliette? Would I even recognize her if she combed out her braid? Closure, people! Let's get some!
Lady Chardonnay OUT.
Hollywood AT LAST! (The final audition rounds were so lackluster, I'm hard-pressed to remember a thing beyond George Clooney's doofy brother. I liked the girl with striped hair who sings to old people, who didn't make it, and I liked the girl who was singing to shame her bigoted grandmother, who did make it, and to me, they were virtually the same girl—very appealing, moderately talented. Once again, my future as an Idol judge appears . . .iffy.)
I love the Hollywood rounds. I especially love when we see who's fighting with their roommates, who's blowing off rehearsal to hang out with cute boys in the hot tub, who's having a hard time without their pharmaceuticals . . . yeah, sure, good singing is what it's all about, but there's plenty of time for that ahead; right now, it's all about Miss Behavior and Miss Management, and I eat it up with an ice cream spoon.
Is it just me, though, or did it all seem a bit rushed? I'm thinking there are fewer deep backgrounds this year; still, we learned a tiny bit about a few people, and for closure's sake I'd at least like to know if they made it through the first round. I caught a quick glimpse of one Corn Maze Sister, and I think she's through, but it looks like Fireman's Son got cut. And was that Cowboy Confidence (with the Australian accent) standing between Ladies Man and Sgt. Steven when they all got cut? He was my boy favorite, and we never even got to hear him sing! I also didn't see 41 Foster Homes or Pre-Teen Mom ("I'm 25 and my son is 16"—I'm thinking I heard that one wrong), though Granddaughter of Someone Famous and My Mom Is My Voice Teacher (whom TV Guide named as two to watch) both got through, as did the animatronic cowboy who sings to chickens, Sinatra in the Car Crooner, and Fishnetted Dental Assistant.
On my last nerve: the XL twins, who can't leave soon enough for me, and Laryngitis Girl; I have empathy for the impaired, until they tell me they're one of the "better" ones. Okay, on the Crazy Dave scale she barely rates, but still.
And where oh where is my new BFF Tyra Juliette? Would I even recognize her if she combed out her braid? Closure, people! Let's get some!
Lady Chardonnay OUT.
Thursday, February 02, 2006
Pepi
All I recall of Las Vegas was Pepi. I really liked him. He was cute and funny and he couldn't sing great, but he was fine.
I also liked little belly-dancing girl. I was very glad she didn't show up in "I Dream of Jeannie" pants because that would have kept her from Hollywood.
I was thrilled to see on my Wednesday night tape that this suffering will be over after Boston. I wonder if I will see Lady Char or Ms Cyn in the crowd scenes!
Brunhildecrow OUT!
I also liked little belly-dancing girl. I was very glad she didn't show up in "I Dream of Jeannie" pants because that would have kept her from Hollywood.
I was thrilled to see on my Wednesday night tape that this suffering will be over after Boston. I wonder if I will see Lady Char or Ms Cyn in the crowd scenes!
Brunhildecrow OUT!
What a bunch of losers by Mrs Cynicletary
The Joy of Idol
Except for belly dancer girl, sweet voiced brother, and maybe prematurely gray guy, what a waste of time these auditions are! And who the hell was that idiot with the big ears who seemed to bring a really large group of friends and family with him who applauded after every stupid thing he said on Tuesday? He sucked! George something or other - man get off my TV!!
I am offically at the end of my patience with the audition phase. Let's get to Hollywood already!
Except for belly dancer girl, sweet voiced brother, and maybe prematurely gray guy, what a waste of time these auditions are! And who the hell was that idiot with the big ears who seemed to bring a really large group of friends and family with him who applauded after every stupid thing he said on Tuesday? He sucked! George something or other - man get off my TV!!
I am offically at the end of my patience with the audition phase. Let's get to Hollywood already!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)