What follows is my attempt to provide closure.
The ladies of the "Final" 24 comprise Paris Not-Hilton (Granddaughter of Someone Famous), Julie (I think) (Best 16 Year Old Ever), Kellie Pickler (My Daddy's In Prison), Mandesa (Big Voice, Big Poncho), Katherine McPhee (My Mother Is My Voice Coach), Brenna I-Want-People-to-Answer-MY-Phones (my GOD what a pain in the ass—you need a voice like gold to pull off this much arrogance, sister), AylaArlaAnya, something like that (Boston royalty, who also plays basketball), Rebecca "Call Me Becky, and Try to Forget How Gorgeous I Am, I Dare You" (beautiful twin with okay voice), a blonde girl with sunglasses on her head, a scared-looking girl who's very tall and very young (Stevie?), the dark-haired girl who was the last one picked, and someone I've totally forgotten.
Not picked: either Corn Maze sister (boo!), 41 Foster Homes, Fishnetted Dental Assistant, The Bigot's Granddaughter, Laryngitis Girl, Belly-Dancing Girl, and, my biggest disappointment on so many levels, my new BFF Tyra Juliet Schwartz, who . . . didn't wear so well over time. Though no one knows better than I the frustration of working with MORONS WHO DON'T PULL THEIR WEIGHT.
Ah well.
As for the guys, we've got I'm 12 and Have No Charisma Guy, with the sweet voice; Ace Dreamboat (this year's Constantine, except with some humility and charm); "Sway" (bald Latino guy); Gideon Confidence; Sing Sinatra in the Car Crooner; George Clooney's Doofy Brother; two tall dark-haired guys (one is very young and was the last one picked; the other is fine, but I can think of no more descriptive adjective than "average," which doesn't bode well); Chris Daughtry (bald guy with cowboy hat); the guy who was in the group with an XL twin, went to bed instead of practicing, and outperformed the twin anyway; the fellow we only met in the elevator; and that blonde guy with the mustache.
Who didn't make it: Dancing With Paula guy, Cowboy Confidence, Animatronic Cowboy Who Sings to Chickens, The Fireman's Son, the XL twins (though we never saw them officially cut—maybe there wasn't enough printable tape, what with all the bleeping, or the camera exploded from the combined force of all that hot air—who knows), Crazy Dave (blow me down), and several black men with sunglasses and dreads—who were they? Where did they come from? Why did we never hear them sing?
I'm head over heels for Mandesa, who's got the personality and the voice, but no one else has claimed my heart yet, which is a comfortable place to be. Idol is on three nights next week, a situation that I call TV nirvana! The wine is chillin' and so am I.
Lady Chardonnay OUT.
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3 comments:
My early favorites are Stevie Scott and Taylor Hicks. Stevie is the one you referred to as a scared-looking girl who's very tall and very young. She is a very sexy redhead trained in opera like Julia Ray plus she has great dimples! The icing on the cake is that she lists Joss Stone as her favorite female artist on the Top 24 page. And Taylor Hicks is like Elvis reincarnated – a white man with soul! I do not like the contestants with stage moms – Katherine McPhee, Lisa Tucker (your mom should not be prettier than you are), and Anya with the ugly long neck like Paris Hilton who has both a stage mom and a stage dad. Love your blog!
Except Paris, tiny girl with high speaking voice and low singing voice, they are all still quite fogettable as far as I'm concerned. But the good stuff starts now, so I am ready to be really really...heartless and cynical about these forgettable nobodies!
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