Where the Boys Are

Well. Not a night that will go down in Idol history, I'll wager. But some bright spots, nonetheless.

I don't have the energy to go boy by boy, so here's my overview.

The Shining Lights: Elliott has the prettiest voice and is a class act, Ace is still dreamy and sang the perfect song, Chris isn't my kind of singer but definitely has an interesting voice and gave a great performance, and Taylor, oh my—he's got the music in him! I love how comfortable he is inside his own quirky skin. These four are shoo-ins, and well-deserved.

(Lots of reaction shots from the girls tonight—way more than on Tuesday, when we mostly saw the boys barking on Randy Pavlov's cue. I wasn't sure what to make of how subdued they were while Dreamboat sang, unless they were mentally writing "Mrs. Katharine Dreamboat . . . Ace and Katharine Dreamboat . . . Katharine McPhee-Dreamboat . . ." the whole time. Hey, no judgment from this girl, he is hella dreamy.)

The Previously Mute and Unseen Four: Patrick, Bucky, Gideon, and Bobby didn't do much to break free of their status. And Bobby, though he is amusing, is on my permanent blacklist for dissing Barry Manilow. Barry is music! He writes the songs! Bobby can go way back and sit down. (Of the four, I'm saddest about Patrick McAverage, who has the quirky looks I find appealing, and a reasonably nice voice with potential. Ah, well.) As for Bucky, I'm glad that I don't have to write close-captioning for him—not a word did I understand. And Gideon? Here's what happened over and over last night: I wrote down something borderline-mean, then felt ashamed and scribbled it out—and one minute later Simon said it out loud. I continue to channel Simon, or maybe he's just saying what everyone is thinking and I'm not so special after all. (pause while I write down something borderline-mean) So I too noted Gideon's smile, and that's all I'll say about it, I'm moving beyond blame and beyond shame. And there are still four more boys to document.

Under the heading of Dis!Appointment!, I'll put David Crooner, who mildly irks me in the way that Harry Connick does. I feel like I, a Sinatra girl and the former Mrs. Dean Martin, am supposed to love them—like I'll lose my crooner cred if I don't wave their flags. But—I just don't. I fast-forward over Harry's song on the Sleepless in Seattle soundtrack, and last night I balanced my checkbook after 20 seconds of David. He could definitely improve, but I'm not sure he'll last that long.

Then there were the odd ducks, Sway and Kevin. As for Sway, see "channeling Simon" above, this time re: the word "pimpy." (Though I enjoyed the song, and he did better than I expected.) And Kevin, oh dear, how dear is Kevin? The song was dull but a nice showcase for his sweet voice. Sweet and dull, that's our Kevin. Will it be a Kellie Pickler thing, and people will vote for him because they never want to see him hurt, ever? What to do, what to do.

Finally, we've got Will, who I like very much and see great potential in. I hope Will sticks around.

I usually wait 15 or 20 minutes to vote, and last night I had no trouble voting for Patrick, Chris, and Will. I couldn't get through for Ace, Kevin, and Taylor. (The night before, I easily voted for Mandisa, Melissa, and Lisa, and couldn't get through for Ayla, Paris, and Katharine. Though Ayla is always going to be tough; my phone line is located right in the heart of her most obsessive fan base.)

I enjoy watchng the already-stars, but I'm also anticipating my true favorite part of Idol—watching a raw Idolette become a swan. Every year, there’s someone who starts off okay and then blossoms before our eyes. Last year it was Vonzell, the year before, Jennifer Hudson—who will it be this year? Ayla? Kellie? Will? Kevin? I can't wait to see.

So, who's going tonight? My 4-B fantasy: Brenna, Becky, Bucky, and Bobby. My let's-face-reality-and-drink prediction: Melissa (NO!), Stevie, Bucky, and Patrick. I've got my Kleenex, I'm ready.

Lady Chardonnay OUT.