Simon Hates a Fat Girl

Not to be all whiny but Simon is really a snot about fat girls. When that over-peppy contest winner came in I saw him shut right down. He didn't want to even look at her. If a skinny pretty girl had had that voice they would have been on her like white on rice. I didn't care for her, but listening to her with my eyes closed she sounded like any other Mariah-wanna-be that they would choose. And before you leap in, Simon, and say, "Yes, but it is a television program - people don't want to have to listen with their eyes closed. Being attractive is part of it!" I have three words for you - Scott Freaking Savol! That being said, I found her annoying as can be - but Simon found her annoying before she even had a chance to get all the way into the room.

That was only a tiny slice of the hell that was this episode. I have really enjoyed the auditions this season so this was surprising to me. (It could be because I am sick, sick, sick.) The only two parts I enjoyed were both Simon-centric. The first was when he called the first contestent's boss to get her job back. And the other was when the horribly un-funny iPod guy was auditioning and Simon said, "Okay, I can't listen to this anymore. I really, really can't. It's just awful, it's everything I hate. Everything, I mean the whole act, is excruciatingly bad." And then the kid pulled a lion out of his pocket and Simon's synapses just turned into feral cats and he manages to choke out, "What relevance is you, standing there with a lion on your hand, to a singing competition?" And then the guy yells, "It's the circle of life!" And Simon dies. Okay, he just dies inside, but it helped make up for the fact that if I were ever in the same room with Simon I would be invisible to him or worse.

Cozying up in a big hot tub of self pity -
Brunie OUT!