Not Unlike a Middle School Dance...

Remember your first dance in middle school? I desperately looked forward to mine and talked about it in the cafeteria at lunch every day for weeks with Chari Topol and Laura Greenburg. It was going to be the single greatest night of our lives! And in reality, the dance was pretty much just sitting and talking with Chari and Laura in the cafeteria at lunch, except we didn't have sandwiches, there was music and it was dark. And disappointing.

Maybe I wasn't looking forward to tonight's Idol as much as I looked forward to the dance, but it was the same kind of anti-climactic evening of boredom.

Yes, the show was kind of dull. There were a few good performances, but for the most part, I am looking forward to next week and the week after - ever the optimist!

And now - my opinions!

Jackie – irritating as a human… Wearing Sandy’s pants from Grease, Wilma Flinstones top and Arthur’s moon boots. Singing horribly - LITTLE LESS CONVERSATION. So glad that she has not a chance in hell. The judges inexplicably liked her. And to her credit, she did interact well with the judges. But frankly, but the time she was done with her parents she had kind of charmed me.

Ricky – kind of cute – tight jeans and a velvet coat and very unfortunate hair. His voice is nice, but this song bores the crap out of me – Leon Russel SONG FOR YOU maybe? No, his voice is wonderful. But I am reserving judgment until I see everyone else. I like having the parents in the room for their responses. Not Ricky’s, but the idea is cute.

I love I NEVER LOVED A MAN. Alexis sang well and looked great. I was not blown away at first, but she really brought it by the end. She does have something. Her dad looks like a hobbit.

Brent is from Blandchester! Where they make bland! He looks like a NASCAR driver! He works in a home goods store! He seems like a nice boy. And he has no charisma whatsoever. And his song stinks. So much so that I can’t even name it. (Okay, fine – it is IN A HICK TOWN. Bye, Brent. His wife looks about my age. Yikes…

Stevie! Dang, she was so nervous. She did not sound good. I like the song though – YOU BELONG WITH ME. Her voice sounded thin and young and not in a good way. Too bad, because I really liked her.

Awesome quote of the night - Simon – “America votes, but they listen to me.” HA!!

ANGEL OF MINE – what fresh hell is this? Anoop, you are supposed to be dancing around the stage and making me laugh when I think that you study barbeque. He has a nice voice, but this was dull as dishwater. Joe Mama (Wilbur’s AI viewing buddy) was horrified by his eyebrows. They are magnificent. And Simon has a point. I can’t stop smiling at him when the camera hits him.

And here is the point where my TiVo caught up with real time. I am going to go get some ice-cream and call Lady C!

Wow, Casey makes little slutty faces! She looks great (other than her unfortunate shoes) and her voice is fine. But wow, I dislike her more than anyone else so far. Even Brent and I can’t stand him at all. Her dad looks like Ryan Styles, though. But I don’t think that will help her.

Michael Sarver sings a song that I loathe – I DON’T WANNA BE. He has some cute little dance moves and his voice sounds good by the end. And more than anyone since Jackie he looks like he is having a good old time. And I love to see him sit next to Ryan because he makes him look like a tiny little doll!

Ann Marie said she was going to put her own spin on (YOU MAKE ME FEEL LIKE A) NATURAL WOMAN but it sounded pretty much like it always does. She sounded good and she looked fantastic. But I don’t know if it was enough.

Steven wants to ROCK WITH me! I loved him, but the judges did not. I might just think that he is adorable, though.

Tatiana makes me want to chew glass. I know that Vote For the Worst is gunning for her to make it. The girl can really sing which makes me feel better about why the show kept her for so long. But that doesn’t discount the fact that she is unbelievably nuts. I liked her better tonight than I have before and I wanted to slap Kara when she said everyone wanted the crazy back. The hell we do!

Danny is in the pimp spot because he is our boy, dammit! And if he doesn’t get voted in than the show is going to sue America. And just to be on the safe side, he is singing HERO. (A girl song! But a pretty ambi-sexual one…) He does make it sound good by the end. But he needs to comb his hair. Kara and Paula both had um, episodes, when he finished. He then gathered some loaves and fishes and distributed them to the crowd. I agreed with Simon, they shouldn't canonize him for that performance.

So my prediction is Danny and Alexis or Jackie as the top boy and girl. Anoop or Michael will be the third. Unless Tatiana VFTWs her way in.

Two hours of my life I will never get back. I can’t wait for the results show, thought!

Brunie – OUT!