Baby photos! Mimosa laughed: "Remember David Cook's square head?" Do I ever.
And speaking of Cookie, I saw my former colleague Miss WordPerfect yesterday, and she said, "Remember how edgy and out there David Cook seemed last year?" And now look at Adam . . .
Throughout the evening, it amused me to think about what I was doing the year each downy Idol was born (signing my 1040, getting a tooth crowned—yeah). Good times!
I couldn't convince Li'l Martini to watch with us (he was immersed in the Special Features for The Penguins of Madagascar), so no guest blogging tonight—sorry, Kristi—but Mimosa was in it with me for the long haul and had a thing or two to say.
Though first we were somewhat alarmed by the bald stone-faced alien in the crowd. Who is he, and why is the camera so drawn to him? Freaky . . .
First up is Danny, singing competently and performing well. With Danny, I think, it's less about any specific note or the actual quality of his voice and more that the entire package is fun and appealing. He's great to watch and listen to, and I like him fine. But do I get excited about him, look forward to him performing, or give him a single thought from one show to the next? No. No, I do not.
Paula looks stunning in an outfit that (it must be said) would also look stunning on me. I spend the rest of the evening feeling covetous.
Hey, the Boston Globe had a fantastic article on Paula today: "Judging Paula: Has she gotten smarter?" The gist is that competition with Kara, whether real or perceived, has sharpened Paula's game, and I can only agree.
Next up is Kris, holder of my highest hopes for this week, but alas—he fumbles. No, he does fine, don't get me wrong, but it wasn't a spectacular performance. I think singing from Girl Island is a mistake—he and Matt both do better ashore. A lesson, boys!
Lil Rounds looks amazing and sounds (in my solitary opinion) amazing, but I had a hunch that the judges wouldn't like it, and oh! my gifts as a seer are boundless. "Tina Turner lite," pronounces Simon, and while I think that's harsh, I do agree that Lil seems to have lost herself. Or, as Simon says, "You are not making the impact you should be making." I said to Mimosa, "She just needs to be more . . ." and as I searched for the words, my bright daughter said, "Lil Roundsy?" Yes! That's it.
Honestly, I'm worried for Lil tonight. Every year, there's a singer who is undeniably talented but can't seem to get it together on the big stage and connect with the audience (Carly, Michael Johns, Paris, et al.), and I think that's what's happening here. She has talent to burn, but she's either getting some bad advice or has the instincts of . . . a person with very bad instincts. And you can quote me on that.
Anoop's voice is sweet and pure, singing a song that Mrs. Cynicletary has all kinds of profound feelings about but has always put me right to sleep, even when Cyndi Lauper's singing it. His rendition is nice and dull. I have a comfy little nap, though I rouse myself from my torpor to note this Simon gem: "You're like a singing yo-yo." I don't find Anoop that lively myself, but it's a good line.
Woo-hoo! I woke right up for Scott, who cracked me up. Who knew he could play guitar?! Performance aside, I give him mad props for going for broke and taking a risk tonight. Again, I know this will be the minority opinion, but I like this song way more than "True Colors," and I like Scott's voice, and this, for me, was a great, fun performance.
However, honestly compels me to add that about two notes in, Mimosa said, "I'm going to go to the bathroom and play the harmonica." And that is what she did.
But she returned for ALLISON, who was sixteen kinds of fantastic tonight!!!!!!! Looked great, sounded great, oh how we love this girl. She had better not be in the bottom three tonight, or heads will roll! (This is an empty threat, but still.)
In the penultimate performance of the night, we have Matt in a Hat, who sings yet another song with his pretend voice but is quite entertaining nonetheless. Mimosa pointed out the signs for "Giraud Squad," and I pointed out the girl who was probably giving us a closer look at the design on her T-shirt but nonetheless appeared to be wiggling her boobies at Matt, which made us giggle. Mimosa and I are eight.
Bringing us home tonight is my darling love child Adam Lambert, and how much did you enjoy his tolerant, bemused parents? They seem like a lot of fun.
The lights went low, and St. Adam appeared before us, ethereal and angelic (and apparently squatting in midair). Beautiful song, beautiful voice, master showman. And the Grinch's heart grew three sizes that night, and Simon gave him a standing O—how often has that happened? (Seriously—does anyone know? I'm really curious.)
I haven't voted all season because I think my favorites are perfectly safe and I haven't cared that much about who went home, but tonight I got busy for Allison. My new dream: Allison is the American Idol, and Adam goes on to have a brilliant career doing whatever he wants to do. A win-win for everyone, if you ask me.
Going home tonight: Kris, Scott, or Lil. Which is sad. But at this point, I'm going to be sad no matter who leaves. This is a talented, talented bunch. Good job, America!
Lady Chardonnay OUT!
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