Tuesday, April 14, 2009

At the Late-Night Double Feature Picture Show


Quentin Tarantino is a surprisingly sharp and astute vocal coach! He was a brilliant guest judge in Season 3, and tonight his comments were dead on, I thought.

(The other thing I remember from Movie Night in Season 3 is that half the contestants named Finding Nemo as their favorite movie. Cherubs . . . )

We started with Allison, who once again rocked the house with that smoky, ragged voice of hers. Love her vocal control, love her command of the stage. I worry about her going first—traditionally, not a power position—but she won't be going home this week.

There's a girl with GINORMOUS lips sitting directly behind Quentin T. Wow, imagine her baby picture! 'Cause you know she was born with those.

Anoop's chosen another ballad, which he sings very sweetly. I wish he'd gone for some of the fierceness Tarantino recommended—it would've given the song a cool edge—but I can't fault this very clean performance. Nice job, Anoop.

Adam, wow. Confident. Fearless. Electrifying. Charismatic. Magnetic. Shock and awe. LOVE. HIM.

(Mimosa just grabbed my notebook, and here's what she wrote: " " Brilliant girl!)

(Okay, what she actually wrote was this: Memossia says " " Neither of my kids can spell, apparently. But she is pretty and modest and good, and what more does a parent wish for?)

Matt—oh boy. I guess . . . I am just not a fan. And it wasn't the song, even though my friend Theresa says that these are the stupidest lyrics ever written: Have you ever really really ever loved a woman? "Lady C," she says, "you're an editor. Tell me you wouldn't fillet that sentence with your red pen!" But I like this song. I just don't like Matt singing it.

(Mimosa/Memossia ignored Matt entirely and played with my doll Anita.)

By the way, I'm loving the Two Silent Judges rule. Keep it up, Idol! More singing, less chat!

Danny announces that he's going to sing "Endless Love," which fills me with mad joy. Oh, how I adore this song—because it makes me laugh hysterically.

And here's why: In my sophomore year of college, my best friend Lady Darcy and I were bored one afternoon and decided to get married, just for something to do. (It was a little hippie college in California, no one batted an eye.) So we got busy planning the ceremony, discovering, to our joy, that the lyrics of "Endless Love" made perfect wedding vows. "My love," I said, "there's only you in my life." "My first love," she replied, welling up a bit, "you're every breath I take—you're every step I make." Not a dry eye in the house, I tell you.

The marriage, I'm sad to report, lasted less than two months BECAUSE SHE IS A BIG CHEATING CHEATER, but I have let go, I have moved on, she is still my dearest best friend in the whole wide world, and this September 21 we celebrate our 29th year of best friendship, woo-hoo!

But I digress.

So Danny's going to sing my wedding song, and I try hard not to giggle through his very sweet performance. Though I can't help noting that Quentin told him to keep his hands in his pockets, and Danny is disobeying. First Smokey, now Quentin. Danny! Listen to your elders! Man, these kids today.

It's a very nice performance. This song 100 percent depends on voice—there are no tricks, nothing to hide behind—and Danny for sure has a good voice. And he looks like Robert Downey Jr. tonight without his glasses. But . . . having said all that, I gotta agree with Simon: I wish Danny had pushed the envelope a little bit. It all felt a little . . . safe. But very nice. Definitely.

Kris, I am so sad and sorry to say, disappoints me again. He sounded like a kid singing a dull, mournful song that was simply too old for him. See, now I'm really missing Fabian, and no one wants to write those words. Or even think them. Turn me loose, Kris!

(Translation for you youngsters out there: "Turn Me Loose" was Fabian's big hit. And before Brunie starts getting snarky about the decades between her and me, I will add that I only know this from watching Laverne and Shirley.)

I asked Mimosa what she thought of Kris's performance, and she answered, "Short." This is not good news for Kris.

From my first glimpse of Lil, it looked like she was sheathed head to toe in tight black leather, which I thought a curious outfit for singing "The Rose"—rather, I'd expect to hear the tender love theme from Bound. But I think she was just wearing dark clothing—not leather.

And I may be in the minority once again, but I LOVED her performance and thought Simon was Mr. CrankyPants. I know people won't like the way she argued with him, and I fear that that will cost her, but I thought her vocals were beautiful and pure, and I loved her gospel mix of this very familiar song. Just beautiful, all the way around.

So, if I were ranking them, the top spots would go to Adam and Allison, then a three-way tie for second between Lil, Anoop, and Danny, then Kris next to last for being boring and Matt in last place for being bad. But I think the bottom three will be Lil, Kris, and Matt, with Matt going home. And then I will call poor, sad Mrs. Cynicletary, because Lord knows she's done it for me often enough. (Her younger son especially likes to imitate the way I hyperventilated when Amy Adams, my first Idol love, was sent home. Yeah, it's really funny.)

Till tomorrow! Lady Chardonnay OUT.










1 comment:

Dave said...

I think ginormous lip lady might have had some help from her friend Coll A. Gen.