Gina Glockson managed to stay another week by rocking ALONE. And Paula keeps me loving her another night by telling Gina to take fashion advice from Simon with venom in her voice.
Holy Cow – Elena just wrote her ticket home. No one will be calling from the red states for the Dixie Chicks NOT READY TO MAKE NICE. And thepitchy-ness was obvious to even me. I have to say that I really like her and I wish she was a bit more interesting of a singer.
Yay – Lakeshia didn't dedicate her song to her daughter! (Did you know she has a daughter?) She sounds fantastic on the MIDNIGHT TRAIN TO GEORGIA. She is really such a natural singer. I can see why they seem to love her so much.
Can
I be honest? The only person I like to hear sing MY FUNNY VALENTINE is me. I find it to be really fun to sing but when other people sing it. It is like listening to books on tape - which I also hate. It is just too slow. However, I have to agree that Melinda is without a doubt the best singer in the competition.
Oh my, Antonella’s mom does that creepy singing-along-because-I-am-living-my-life-through-my-daughter thing. She is singing BECAUSE YOU LOVE ME which is a wretched song. I think that her lack of confidence serves her well. She didn’t try to much fancy garbage and it made it sound less irritating than usual. I feel so bad for that girl with her naughty Internet pictures. But she pisses on my goodwill by bringing up Jennifer Hudson to Simon in an I-told-you-so fashion. Simon makes the valid point that America voter her off, not him. If nothing else she certainly inspiresI-am-stringing-a-lot-of-words-together-with-hyphens-to-make-a-point-ness in me.
[And can I tell you that I audibly “squee”ed when she won the Oscar? And my husband audibly gulped when her boobie nearly fell out of her dress several times during the Dreamgirls medley.]
Jordyn is looking adorable singing the REFLECTION song that I hate because it is not the Supremes. (I have to say that I like Christina Aquafina after seeing her James Brown tribute from the Grammy’s .) She sounded fantastic to me – although the song does nothing for me. However seeing her stand next to Ryan makes me so happy I can barely speak. I want them to trade clothes and dance the jitterbug. Or have him hop on her shoulders and fight Mel Gibson in theThunderdome.
The song that Stephanie is singing has the strangest rhythm. I kind of really hate it. And she doesn’t sound that great to me. She looks fantastic. The most attractive of the night so far. But this song is crap - DANGEROUS LOVE – maybe?
I really liked Leslie Hunt. I think she was fun and unique. She did not bore me at all which is rare. She sang that Nina Simone song with FEELING GOOD in it.
Wow, Haley’s fiancé is kind of cute. She is as orange as an Oompa Loompa tonight. She took the judges advice to go younger and sings QUEEN OF THE NIGHT. Sadly, the song is about how bad she is and she still looks like a fourth grade student-teacher. I want to bring her an apple and ask for help with my spelling words.
Sabrina can really sing. My kids call her Miss Pointy Face. I love the way she thanked the band at the end. I don’t love the song - ALL THE MAN I NEED or some such
crap. I pretty much loathe the song choices of Whitney, Beyonce, Celine, Mariah, Christina and every other pretty pop powerhouse
I am expecting Alaina and Haley to go home this week. If Antonella wasn’t so pretty it would be her. But next week she and either Leslie or Gina will be flushed. (Sorry) I am not voting tonight because I have not yet chosen my girl. It will probably beJordyn or Stephanie. I love Lakeshia and Melinda’s voices, but they remind me too much of my beloved Mandisa from last season and I haven’t yet gotten over her loss yet.
Brunie, OUT!
Wednesday, February 28, 2007
Last night with the guys was just ok.
Phil - yawn.
Let's get it on guy - too much, overdone, and not one note was different from the original. Yawn.
I like Brandon - even though Time after Time is Tame after Tame, he sang it beautifully. I think he does need to show his chops more - he is very talented.
Sanjaya, pack your bags, Honey, you are like human methadone. YAAAWWWNNNN!!!
Vote for Pedro dude from Taunton - it was OK. I voted for you because you sang well and because you are from Massachusetts. However, if you sing badly even once you will be cut off no matter where you're from!
Chris Curley hair - I really like him and his voice. I am waiting for him to pick the perfect song that shows off how talented he really is. But Dude, lose 30 pounds, OK?
AJ -Not bad at all - surprising!
Blake - love you! Not one single yawn!
Chris Young Guy - great job! So hard to sing that fast and stay in tune. At least you and Blake sing songs from this decade!
Sundance - you need to sing a variation on that kind of song every single week. Your crack-aided choice of Knights in White Satin last week was GHASTLY! Uptempo blues every week, youngin'!
I predict Let's get it on boy and Sunjaya will go this week.
I am hoping for yawn-free performances from the ladies tonight. But there are only four of them who are truly great. And they (and I) know who they are. I'm going to have a cup of coffee before the show just in case.
Love & kisses,
Mrs. Cynicletary
Phil - yawn.
Let's get it on guy - too much, overdone, and not one note was different from the original. Yawn.
I like Brandon - even though Time after Time is Tame after Tame, he sang it beautifully. I think he does need to show his chops more - he is very talented.
Sanjaya, pack your bags, Honey, you are like human methadone. YAAAWWWNNNN!!!
Vote for Pedro dude from Taunton - it was OK. I voted for you because you sang well and because you are from Massachusetts. However, if you sing badly even once you will be cut off no matter where you're from!
Chris Curley hair - I really like him and his voice. I am waiting for him to pick the perfect song that shows off how talented he really is. But Dude, lose 30 pounds, OK?
AJ -Not bad at all - surprising!
Blake - love you! Not one single yawn!
Chris Young Guy - great job! So hard to sing that fast and stay in tune. At least you and Blake sing songs from this decade!
Sundance - you need to sing a variation on that kind of song every single week. Your crack-aided choice of Knights in White Satin last week was GHASTLY! Uptempo blues every week, youngin'!
I predict Let's get it on boy and Sunjaya will go this week.
I am hoping for yawn-free performances from the ladies tonight. But there are only four of them who are truly great. And they (and I) know who they are. I'm going to have a cup of coffee before the show just in case.
Love & kisses,
Mrs. Cynicletary
Tuesday, February 27, 2007
The Boys Are Back In Town...
Wouldn't it be great if someone sang "The Boys Are Back in Town"? I love that little bit of '70s joy. But that's not what I am here to talk about. So on to the show...
Phil (I seriously almost typed Chris!) benefits tremendously from us already liking him. I liked the end of his song, MISSING YOU, when he got all loud and emotional – but the beginning was dull as dirt.
Jared (the Eyebrow) sounds great on LET’S GET IT ON. But he sounds just like Marvin Gaye. No deviation from the record at all. But he had some snappy dance moves. I still find him cutest.
Then they all get dirty, starting with Paula who is on fire tonight. She is so cute…
A.J. made me love him with some song I never heard (NEW SOMETHING…) He sounded bluesy and a little queeny and his moves were great. Best so far, by far.
Sanjay sounds like the kid at the high school talent show who you never knew could sing and blows everyone away. But he is no American Idol. Dull dull dull… He sang STEPPING OUT WITH MY BABY but he will probably be back because he is cute. And OMG (!) Randy called the high school talent show thing just as I was typing it! But this kid seems so shy it probably hurts that he even has to talk after he sings. Damn, he is young.
Chris sang TROUBLE which I like a lot. He dedicated it to his cute little wife. I held my breath when he went to talk to the judges – but it went well without Ryan acting all pissy and trouble-makey.
Bye bye Nick… I like Nick a lot, but he was only slightly less dull than Sanjay. Although Simon appeared to be snapping his fingers. Some parts sounded really smooth and I love the tone of his voice. But it wasn’t memorable. It made me miss Paris – the little singing firecracker, not the French city.
Blake sang VIRTUAL INSANITY – he did some scat singing. He was not at all dull. I don’t know how good the singing was, but I wasn’t bored at all.
Brandon looks so hot when he is singing. He is nice looking but nothing special when he is talking. But once he starts singing – whoo! – I get all Tiger Beat-y on him. He sang TIME AFTER TIME which is kind of a dull song if you’re not Cindy Lauper. But his tone was nice and his face is just like a poem.
I am loving Paula this week! And Simon is so lively tonight. Not necessarily kind, but lively.
Chris does absolutely nothing for me. But he will stay because he looks like Justin Timberlake. He sings GEEK IN THE PINK and there is something dirty about that song. I don’t know why they like him so much. His voice is kind of reedy.
So Sundance is closing the show with MUSTANG SALLY. He sounds better than he has sounded before and that will probably be enough to keep him in another week. And I like his little dedication to his son. I love that he knows how bad he sucked last week.
I voted for A.J. a bunch of times and for Brandon because he makes me feel so special.
Phil (I seriously almost typed Chris!) benefits tremendously from us already liking him. I liked the end of his song, MISSING YOU, when he got all loud and emotional – but the beginning was dull as dirt.
Jared (the Eyebrow) sounds great on LET’S GET IT ON. But he sounds just like Marvin Gaye. No deviation from the record at all. But he had some snappy dance moves. I still find him cutest.
Then they all get dirty, starting with Paula who is on fire tonight. She is so cute…
A.J. made me love him with some song I never heard (NEW SOMETHING…) He sounded bluesy and a little queeny and his moves were great. Best so far, by far.
Sanjay sounds like the kid at the high school talent show who you never knew could sing and blows everyone away. But he is no American Idol. Dull dull dull… He sang STEPPING OUT WITH MY BABY but he will probably be back because he is cute. And OMG (!) Randy called the high school talent show thing just as I was typing it! But this kid seems so shy it probably hurts that he even has to talk after he sings. Damn, he is young.
Chris sang TROUBLE which I like a lot. He dedicated it to his cute little wife. I held my breath when he went to talk to the judges – but it went well without Ryan acting all pissy and trouble-makey.
Bye bye Nick… I like Nick a lot, but he was only slightly less dull than Sanjay. Although Simon appeared to be snapping his fingers. Some parts sounded really smooth and I love the tone of his voice. But it wasn’t memorable. It made me miss Paris – the little singing firecracker, not the French city.
Blake sang VIRTUAL INSANITY – he did some scat singing. He was not at all dull. I don’t know how good the singing was, but I wasn’t bored at all.
Brandon looks so hot when he is singing. He is nice looking but nothing special when he is talking. But once he starts singing – whoo! – I get all Tiger Beat-y on him. He sang TIME AFTER TIME which is kind of a dull song if you’re not Cindy Lauper. But his tone was nice and his face is just like a poem.
I am loving Paula this week! And Simon is so lively tonight. Not necessarily kind, but lively.
Chris does absolutely nothing for me. But he will stay because he looks like Justin Timberlake. He sings GEEK IN THE PINK and there is something dirty about that song. I don’t know why they like him so much. His voice is kind of reedy.
So Sundance is closing the show with MUSTANG SALLY. He sounds better than he has sounded before and that will probably be enough to keep him in another week. And I like his little dedication to his son. I love that he knows how bad he sucked last week.
I voted for A.J. a bunch of times and for Brandon because he makes me feel so special.
Friday, February 23, 2007
Strangers in Paradise
As usual, the people we never got to know are the first ones gone. (This is where Mrs. Cynicletary and I argue every year. "I vote for the best singers, every time!" she swears. "But you are not the average voter," I remind her. Also, she doesn't learn anyone's name till, like, Week 11.) Seriously — Antonella blew. She was next-to-worst last night. Amy wasn't bad—she was perfectly competent, she just wasn't exciting. Antonella, like Nicole, was actively bad. But we know Antonella, and we generally like her, so we're giving her the benefit of the doubt. THIS is where the exposure comes in handy.
(Another case in point is Sundance, who . . . I just don't have words for his performance. The unendurable ick of that giant glistening head looming over me while he bellowed, "I LOVE YO . . ." I love yo? Back OFF, giant head!)
If you're really, really good (like Stephanie and Sabrina), you can shake off the dust of obscurity, buy yourself some time, and make us learn to love you. And if you're freakin' great, like yesteryear's Bo, you're a stranger no more. But as good as most of the girls were, I saw no one rise to Bo-like heights. Or even Daughtry-like heights. They were just very good.
After next week, when the next four strangers bite the dust (Leslie, Haley or Alaina, AJ, and probably Chris R, who, despite the judges' praise, is really not a good singer at all)—well, then it gets interesting.
Shoo-in final 12 boys: Brandon Backup, Beatbox Blake, and New Dad Phil. I'll be very surprised (sadly surprised) if Funny Chris isn't there (his fans, apparently, have christened themselves the Fro Patro). I'll also be surprised (happily surprised) if Sanjaya doesn't make it, as he also seems to have a (hormonal) bustling fan base.
Shoo-in final 12 girls: Melinda Backup and Single Mom Lakisha (have you heard that she's a single mom? Wow! And me without a medal), with Stephanie, Sabrina, Jordin, and Gina likely completing the group. Which means bye-bye Antonella, which—we'll see.
One word about Miss Gina, who—yes, Brunie, you called it—is forever my girl: I thought Simon was a jerk to her. Not when he was initially critiquing her performance—he said she didn't "hit the note," meaning, the one he was expecting to hear, and she may not have. Fine. And I thought her response was likewise fine; she said—jokingly—that she hit a note (which, obviously, she did). But Simon took it all wrong and was very assy when he referenced their exchange later. I don't mind when he's rude in the context of making a good point, but I hate him when he's rude just to entertain himself.
Enough for now—I need to focus on the Oscars, which means working on perfecting my Oscar cocktails. It's a chore, but I somehow carry on.
Lady Chardonnay (today's look: Extra-Terrestrial Frumpy) OUT.
(Another case in point is Sundance, who . . . I just don't have words for his performance. The unendurable ick of that giant glistening head looming over me while he bellowed, "I LOVE YO . . ." I love yo? Back OFF, giant head!)
If you're really, really good (like Stephanie and Sabrina), you can shake off the dust of obscurity, buy yourself some time, and make us learn to love you. And if you're freakin' great, like yesteryear's Bo, you're a stranger no more. But as good as most of the girls were, I saw no one rise to Bo-like heights. Or even Daughtry-like heights. They were just very good.
After next week, when the next four strangers bite the dust (Leslie, Haley or Alaina, AJ, and probably Chris R, who, despite the judges' praise, is really not a good singer at all)—well, then it gets interesting.
Shoo-in final 12 boys: Brandon Backup, Beatbox Blake, and New Dad Phil. I'll be very surprised (sadly surprised) if Funny Chris isn't there (his fans, apparently, have christened themselves the Fro Patro). I'll also be surprised (happily surprised) if Sanjaya doesn't make it, as he also seems to have a (hormonal) bustling fan base.
Shoo-in final 12 girls: Melinda Backup and Single Mom Lakisha (have you heard that she's a single mom? Wow! And me without a medal), with Stephanie, Sabrina, Jordin, and Gina likely completing the group. Which means bye-bye Antonella, which—we'll see.
One word about Miss Gina, who—yes, Brunie, you called it—is forever my girl: I thought Simon was a jerk to her. Not when he was initially critiquing her performance—he said she didn't "hit the note," meaning, the one he was expecting to hear, and she may not have. Fine. And I thought her response was likewise fine; she said—jokingly—that she hit a note (which, obviously, she did). But Simon took it all wrong and was very assy when he referenced their exchange later. I don't mind when he's rude in the context of making a good point, but I hate him when he's rude just to entertain himself.
Enough for now—I need to focus on the Oscars, which means working on perfecting my Oscar cocktails. It's a chore, but I somehow carry on.
Lady Chardonnay (today's look: Extra-Terrestrial Frumpy) OUT.
Thursday, February 22, 2007
Home is Where You Go and They Have to Listen to You Sing...
Okay this is completely scary. If you look at my recap (And apparently I am the only one who is actually watching the show this season – not that that is a reflection on Lady Char and Mrs. Cynicaltary!) you will see that every performer that my husband commented on went home! He is a career killer! Beware future idols – don’t let Mr. Crow talk about you or you are going home.
There was no real disappointment for me in those who were sent home. I think Paul Kim was far better than Sundance but that is like saying small pox is better than Rocky Mountain yellow spotted fever. I was relieved for Nick. I was fine seeing Rudy leave. And I will miss Amy and Nicole not at all.
I have enjoyed this week very much. Now if someone else would post about it, I would be happy as happy can be. But who? Who will break the silence?
Brunie, OUT!
There was no real disappointment for me in those who were sent home. I think Paul Kim was far better than Sundance but that is like saying small pox is better than Rocky Mountain yellow spotted fever. I was relieved for Nick. I was fine seeing Rudy leave. And I will miss Amy and Nicole not at all.
I have enjoyed this week very much. Now if someone else would post about it, I would be happy as happy can be. But who? Who will break the silence?
Brunie, OUT!
Wednesday, February 21, 2007
A Little Something From the Ladies...
Like the judges, I too thought the girls were significantly better than the boys. With a few dreadful exceptions.
Stephanie Edwards – How Come You Don’t Call Me Anymore
I never heard this song before – I liked it a lot and I really like Stephanie. Cute look – confident voice – I love her!
Amy Krebs – I Can’t Make You Love Me
She is not that interesting to me. She sounded fine, but that song needs to be more painful. You need the scratchy Bonnie Raitt thing. She should be singing about puppies and kitties. When Paula said she can do something to make us remember her my husband piped up in a breathy silly voice, “I could take off my top!” He is such a goober, but you can see that AI is sucking him in!
Leslie-the-Girl-Who-Scares-My-Children Hunt– Natural Woman
She doesn’t sound bad, but no one can sing this song who isn’t Aretha. It just can’t be done. It just makes everyone listening think, “Damn, Aretha cansing the hell out of this song. What is that pasty girl doing?”
Sabrina Sloane – I Never Loved a Man
Well what do you know? More Aretha. This one is better – maybe because she has a little more sass that the last girl and she is making the song a little less Aretha-like without making it sound like Karaoke. She did okay I think. Second only to Stephanie in my book.
Antonella Barba – Don’t Want to Miss a Thing
I love that this Jersey girl is singing Aerosmith! She is so danged pretty. I just want to hate her, but I don’t. I like her. When she said that her Idol journey was stressful my husband said, “So is mine!” And yet he stays in the room! I really think that Idol is slowly creeping up on him.
Jordin Sparks - Give Me One Reason
I love this song, but I don’t think it is really a voice show-casing kind of number. That being said, Little Jojo sang the hell out of it. And she made Ryan look so tiny!
Nicole Tranquillo – Some Way Some How (I am guessing, as usual…)
Wow, this blew! I like Nicole but her voice sounded just plain weird. I almost fast forwarded through her but I wanted to see if she would stop shouting. Dare I say? Goodbye, Nicole.
Haley Scarnato – Hmmmm….I’m going to guess It’s All Coming Back to Me Now
This sounds like something that Miss American would sing. Actually, this reminded me of the talent competition in the Miss America pageant. She seems pretty forgettable to me. She has nice teeth – I’ll give her that. But if she gets sent home I will not remember her.
Melinda Doolittle – Since You Been Gone
Is her face too big to win? I LOVE her voice and her sweet little personality but she looks like Linda Hunt in a wig. But I love her voice, oh yes I indeedily-doo! How shallow that I can’t seem to get beyond her Easter Island-like head. Shallow, shallow me.
Alania Alexander – Brass in Pocket
No one can sing this song but Chrissy Hynde. So reet… Too bad because I kind of liked her before this. Oh gosh – is she the one who is going to have to go to college? Poor thing… And she does look adorable with Ryan. When she gets kicked off maybe she can be his new beard.
Gina Glockson – All By Myself
You know Lady Char is going to love this girl because she has funky colored hair and a skippy personality. And she can sing! But I do think that this song is more like a week 8 kind of choice. Too swoopy. But she did really sing it. I hope to see more of her. And boy could she just slip Ryan into her pocket!
Lakisha Jones – And I am Telling You
Boy, they are selling Baby-Mama hard! She can sing and I really do like church singing girls, I just don’t like to feel manipulated. And this song is just too amazing and she sold the hell out of it. Shut up about your daughter and keep singing like that and I will love you Lakisha!
My go-the-heck-home picks are Alania and Nicole with Haley Scarnato as a spoiler. I didn’t pick the boys-go-home but I will now – they are Sundance and Rudy with Sanjaya as a possible alternate.
And maybe I will watch LOST before I slip off to sleep with a prayer of thanksgiving on my lips for the wonder of TiVo!
Brunie, OUT!
Stephanie Edwards – How Come You Don’t Call Me Anymore
I never heard this song before – I liked it a lot and I really like Stephanie. Cute look – confident voice – I love her!
Amy Krebs – I Can’t Make You Love Me
She is not that interesting to me. She sounded fine, but that song needs to be more painful. You need the scratchy Bonnie Raitt thing. She should be singing about puppies and kitties. When Paula said she can do something to make us remember her my husband piped up in a breathy silly voice, “I could take off my top!” He is such a goober, but you can see that AI is sucking him in!
Leslie-the-Girl-Who-Scares-My-Children Hunt– Natural Woman
She doesn’t sound bad, but no one can sing this song who isn’t Aretha. It just can’t be done. It just makes everyone listening think, “Damn, Aretha cansing the hell out of this song. What is that pasty girl doing?”
Sabrina Sloane – I Never Loved a Man
Well what do you know? More Aretha. This one is better – maybe because she has a little more sass that the last girl and she is making the song a little less Aretha-like without making it sound like Karaoke. She did okay I think. Second only to Stephanie in my book.
Antonella Barba – Don’t Want to Miss a Thing
I love that this Jersey girl is singing Aerosmith! She is so danged pretty. I just want to hate her, but I don’t. I like her. When she said that her Idol journey was stressful my husband said, “So is mine!” And yet he stays in the room! I really think that Idol is slowly creeping up on him.
Jordin Sparks - Give Me One Reason
I love this song, but I don’t think it is really a voice show-casing kind of number. That being said, Little Jojo sang the hell out of it. And she made Ryan look so tiny!
Nicole Tranquillo – Some Way Some How (I am guessing, as usual…)
Wow, this blew! I like Nicole but her voice sounded just plain weird. I almost fast forwarded through her but I wanted to see if she would stop shouting. Dare I say? Goodbye, Nicole.
Haley Scarnato – Hmmmm….I’m going to guess It’s All Coming Back to Me Now
This sounds like something that Miss American would sing. Actually, this reminded me of the talent competition in the Miss America pageant. She seems pretty forgettable to me. She has nice teeth – I’ll give her that. But if she gets sent home I will not remember her.
Melinda Doolittle – Since You Been Gone
Is her face too big to win? I LOVE her voice and her sweet little personality but she looks like Linda Hunt in a wig. But I love her voice, oh yes I indeedily-doo! How shallow that I can’t seem to get beyond her Easter Island-like head. Shallow, shallow me.
Alania Alexander – Brass in Pocket
No one can sing this song but Chrissy Hynde. So reet… Too bad because I kind of liked her before this. Oh gosh – is she the one who is going to have to go to college? Poor thing… And she does look adorable with Ryan. When she gets kicked off maybe she can be his new beard.
Gina Glockson – All By Myself
You know Lady Char is going to love this girl because she has funky colored hair and a skippy personality. And she can sing! But I do think that this song is more like a week 8 kind of choice. Too swoopy. But she did really sing it. I hope to see more of her. And boy could she just slip Ryan into her pocket!
Lakisha Jones – And I am Telling You
Boy, they are selling Baby-Mama hard! She can sing and I really do like church singing girls, I just don’t like to feel manipulated. And this song is just too amazing and she sold the hell out of it. Shut up about your daughter and keep singing like that and I will love you Lakisha!
My go-the-heck-home picks are Alania and Nicole with Haley Scarnato as a spoiler. I didn’t pick the boys-go-home but I will now – they are Sundance and Rudy with Sanjaya as a possible alternate.
And maybe I will watch LOST before I slip off to sleep with a prayer of thanksgiving on my lips for the wonder of TiVo!
Brunie, OUT!
Tuesday, February 20, 2007
Where the Boys Are~
And here we are - where the singing begins! This is how my evening went:
Rudy Cardenes– Free Ride
He was certainly happy and he seemed peppy although not too interesting. My 8 year old said “Utterly horrible!” in a Simon voice. Paula said “I thought it started off fantastic…’ and my husband said “…but I’m drunk, so what do I know.” Which was pretty funny and prescient and the last thing I am sure I will hear out of him about Idol the entire season.
[Then I noticed that Randy is a dapper little dwarf with slightly irritating interviewing skills.]
Brandon Rogers– Rock With You
It is painful the degree to which he wants to have sex with me! The eyes, the mouth, the hair, the love… I can’t decide if I am eeked out or in love. Pretty voice, dullish arrangement, most natural movements of anyone on stage tonight.
Sundance Head – Nights in White FREAKING Satin
Goodbye Sundance, you suck.
Paul Kim – Never Gonna Dance Again
Don’t point at your feet when you sing about your feet, fool! He sounded pretty good although there was one crazy bad note and then he said, “Yuch…”
Chris Richardson (Justin Timberlake, Jr.) – I Don’t Wanna Be
Stiffest boy in the world. And he keeps looking like a youth pastor. And his voice is reedy. Blech.
Nick Pedro– Now and Forever I Will Be Your Man (or some crap like that)
Our local boy! Cute as a bug with the cheeks and the thinning hair. Quick, be a star before the hair is gone! He has a pretty, smooth voice and I can’t wait to hear him sing some Motown instead of this slop. (So I voted for him four times.)
Blake Lewis – Somewhere Only We Know
I like him, but it seemed like he lost the melody in a few spots. But it is a weird melody so I could be wrong. “An odd song” according to Paula. And I concur. Do you watch “How I Met Your Mother”? Well you should. And this guy looks like Barney. The horn-dog, not the purple dinosaur.
Sanjaya Malakar – I Love You a Whole Bunch of Times
I thought he sounded smooth – and yet the dull was nearly overwhelming. But he was cute and smiley and 17 so that may carry him through.
Chris Sligh – A Song I Have Never Heard of and Can’t Even Begin to Guess at the Title
He is a portly young man and I am a friend to the portly. He sounded good to me. I voted for him for my sons who adore him.
[At this point everyone assures us that they are not gay and Simon calls Chris fat.]
Jared Cotter – Counting Song of Some Sort
He really was the sweetest of the slow singers. I had no opinion of him before but I liked him after. Not tremendously memorable but then again, I have never heard of Brian McKnight?
AJ Tabaldo – A Thousand Kisses (well, that’s what I’d call it)
I liked him far more than I thought I would! I don’t know the song at all but I liked the way he sounded. According to Randy he brought nothing new so there’s that. But his singing was very nice.
Phil Stacey – I Could Not Ask For More
Damn! That was a scary first shot of him! He looked like a turkey. He sounded okay. He did some Bo-motional mic-stand flipping. Boy, you really need to see his mouth for his face to have any chance of being attractive.
[Then Ryan and Simon have a little bitch-fight and I finally get to go to bed.]
Nighty-night.
Brunie, OUT!
Rudy Cardenes– Free Ride
He was certainly happy and he seemed peppy although not too interesting. My 8 year old said “Utterly horrible!” in a Simon voice. Paula said “I thought it started off fantastic…’ and my husband said “…but I’m drunk, so what do I know.” Which was pretty funny and prescient and the last thing I am sure I will hear out of him about Idol the entire season.
[Then I noticed that Randy is a dapper little dwarf with slightly irritating interviewing skills.]
Brandon Rogers– Rock With You
It is painful the degree to which he wants to have sex with me! The eyes, the mouth, the hair, the love… I can’t decide if I am eeked out or in love. Pretty voice, dullish arrangement, most natural movements of anyone on stage tonight.
Sundance Head – Nights in White FREAKING Satin
Goodbye Sundance, you suck.
Paul Kim – Never Gonna Dance Again
Don’t point at your feet when you sing about your feet, fool! He sounded pretty good although there was one crazy bad note and then he said, “Yuch…”
Chris Richardson (Justin Timberlake, Jr.) – I Don’t Wanna Be
Stiffest boy in the world. And he keeps looking like a youth pastor. And his voice is reedy. Blech.
Nick Pedro– Now and Forever I Will Be Your Man (or some crap like that)
Our local boy! Cute as a bug with the cheeks and the thinning hair. Quick, be a star before the hair is gone! He has a pretty, smooth voice and I can’t wait to hear him sing some Motown instead of this slop. (So I voted for him four times.)
Blake Lewis – Somewhere Only We Know
I like him, but it seemed like he lost the melody in a few spots. But it is a weird melody so I could be wrong. “An odd song” according to Paula. And I concur. Do you watch “How I Met Your Mother”? Well you should. And this guy looks like Barney. The horn-dog, not the purple dinosaur.
Sanjaya Malakar – I Love You a Whole Bunch of Times
I thought he sounded smooth – and yet the dull was nearly overwhelming. But he was cute and smiley and 17 so that may carry him through.
Chris Sligh – A Song I Have Never Heard of and Can’t Even Begin to Guess at the Title
He is a portly young man and I am a friend to the portly. He sounded good to me. I voted for him for my sons who adore him.
[At this point everyone assures us that they are not gay and Simon calls Chris fat.]
Jared Cotter – Counting Song of Some Sort
He really was the sweetest of the slow singers. I had no opinion of him before but I liked him after. Not tremendously memorable but then again, I have never heard of Brian McKnight?
AJ Tabaldo – A Thousand Kisses (well, that’s what I’d call it)
I liked him far more than I thought I would! I don’t know the song at all but I liked the way he sounded. According to Randy he brought nothing new so there’s that. But his singing was very nice.
Phil Stacey – I Could Not Ask For More
Damn! That was a scary first shot of him! He looked like a turkey. He sounded okay. He did some Bo-motional mic-stand flipping. Boy, you really need to see his mouth for his face to have any chance of being attractive.
[Then Ryan and Simon have a little bitch-fight and I finally get to go to bed.]
Nighty-night.
Brunie, OUT!
Monday, February 19, 2007
“Wait for it . . . wait for it . . . Oh, did you blink? Sorry.”
That’s my summation of Hollywood “week,” and I’m beyond furious that we had to endure 25 weeks of audition dreck for such a measly reward. Grr! Arrggh! There is not a container large enough for my wrath. (So I shall channel my rage into blogging, and it that doesn’t do it—maybe my kids will be up for a game of full-contact Twister. Yeah.)
I was sad that Army Girl didn’t make it, though the minute she sang “many” as “mini,” I knew her time was up. (Not that the judges would say it that way, exactly—“Sorry, Army Girl, but we’re wicked snobs.”) And I was very surprised not to see anything of some former audition favorites, particularly Lovely with Lots of Hair (who sang “Over the Rainbow” in Minnesota) and Ebony the roller-skating waitress, especially given how Simon wet himself over the latter. And popstar-ready Bayley (“I was born a city girl, except on a farm”)? I assumed she’d make it through even if she hawked a loogy mid-song, again given Simon’s personal pee-fest. Well, you know what they say about “assume” (namely, Don’t do it ‘cause you could be wrong!).
The one and only thing I liked was that we literally saw every one of the Top 24, albeit for only a few seconds in some cases, but in any event—they won’t be total strangers come Tuesday, and maybe the bloody slaughter of the unknowns will be less immediate this time. Though, that being said, knowing the final list makes some of their choices even more inexplicable. “Chris R” and “Jared” over Tommy, the cute Afro-ed boy who sat in judgment with Sundance? “Nicole” and “Stephanie” over Joni Mitchell-channeling lip-pierced girl? (again, whom I’d assumed a shoo-in, once more due to Simon’s relentless self-piddling)
Crazy, man.
Of the 24, I especially like the two back-up singers, Brandon and Melinda (though she has got to stop making those “I’m passing a stone” faces while singing), New Dad Philip, Jack-Osbourne guy Chris, second-timer Nick Pedro, Gina G (last year’s fish-netted dental assistant, who has lovely harmonies), and golden girl Alaina (“If I don’t make it, I might have to . . . go to . . . college!” Hold on to your dream, girl! Don’t ever let go!).
I dislike Lakisha, professional single mom (though I have nothing against single moms! Well, as a demographic, anyway), but given the aforementioned Simon incontinence as far as she’s concerned, I know she’ll be around a while (you are SHEEP, America! SHEEP!), and I’m not wild about Sanjaya or Sundance. Beat Box Boy, America Ferrara (Jordin), and Haley, the young girl with the big hoop earrings—whatever.
As for less-heinous BFF Antonella—while I do like her voice, and I don’t blame her for the sins of her truly heinous BFF Amanda, I’m still disappointed that she didn’t turn to Amanda and say, “Girlfriend? God just called and wants me to smack you.” Ah, well. She’s young. And I suspect that she’ll do just fine without my support. (BAAHHH! BAAHHH!)
The Invisible 10 (Rudy, Paul, AJ, Chris, Jared, Stephanie, Leslie, Sabrina, Nicole, and Amy)—well, here’s hoping that one of them knocks it out of the park and rocks the house, á lá Bo, Chris, La Toya. We shall see! Much more to be revealed . . .
Lady Chardonnay (today’s look: Small-Town GrAnimals) OUT.
I was sad that Army Girl didn’t make it, though the minute she sang “many” as “mini,” I knew her time was up. (Not that the judges would say it that way, exactly—“Sorry, Army Girl, but we’re wicked snobs.”) And I was very surprised not to see anything of some former audition favorites, particularly Lovely with Lots of Hair (who sang “Over the Rainbow” in Minnesota) and Ebony the roller-skating waitress, especially given how Simon wet himself over the latter. And popstar-ready Bayley (“I was born a city girl, except on a farm”)? I assumed she’d make it through even if she hawked a loogy mid-song, again given Simon’s personal pee-fest. Well, you know what they say about “assume” (namely, Don’t do it ‘cause you could be wrong!).
The one and only thing I liked was that we literally saw every one of the Top 24, albeit for only a few seconds in some cases, but in any event—they won’t be total strangers come Tuesday, and maybe the bloody slaughter of the unknowns will be less immediate this time. Though, that being said, knowing the final list makes some of their choices even more inexplicable. “Chris R” and “Jared” over Tommy, the cute Afro-ed boy who sat in judgment with Sundance? “Nicole” and “Stephanie” over Joni Mitchell-channeling lip-pierced girl? (again, whom I’d assumed a shoo-in, once more due to Simon’s relentless self-piddling)
Crazy, man.
Of the 24, I especially like the two back-up singers, Brandon and Melinda (though she has got to stop making those “I’m passing a stone” faces while singing), New Dad Philip, Jack-Osbourne guy Chris, second-timer Nick Pedro, Gina G (last year’s fish-netted dental assistant, who has lovely harmonies), and golden girl Alaina (“If I don’t make it, I might have to . . . go to . . . college!” Hold on to your dream, girl! Don’t ever let go!).
I dislike Lakisha, professional single mom (though I have nothing against single moms! Well, as a demographic, anyway), but given the aforementioned Simon incontinence as far as she’s concerned, I know she’ll be around a while (you are SHEEP, America! SHEEP!), and I’m not wild about Sanjaya or Sundance. Beat Box Boy, America Ferrara (Jordin), and Haley, the young girl with the big hoop earrings—whatever.
As for less-heinous BFF Antonella—while I do like her voice, and I don’t blame her for the sins of her truly heinous BFF Amanda, I’m still disappointed that she didn’t turn to Amanda and say, “Girlfriend? God just called and wants me to smack you.” Ah, well. She’s young. And I suspect that she’ll do just fine without my support. (BAAHHH! BAAHHH!)
The Invisible 10 (Rudy, Paul, AJ, Chris, Jared, Stephanie, Leslie, Sabrina, Nicole, and Amy)—well, here’s hoping that one of them knocks it out of the park and rocks the house, á lá Bo, Chris, La Toya. We shall see! Much more to be revealed . . .
Lady Chardonnay (today’s look: Small-Town GrAnimals) OUT.
Thursday, February 15, 2007
Hollywood Grail
So we are finally done with the dreaded city auditions and have made it to Mecca and I am strangely disappointed. It seems so short! Only two nights of the stress, crying, whining, bitching, moaning and - oh yeah - singing? What a rip-off...
Tuesday night I could have stood a look at more of the groups. I LOVED the beat box boys. They were so good. I was thrilled to see Hips-don't-lie Sexy-Colombianita go. Her personality was cute, but she couldn't sing for beans. And I was shocked that they cut Too-big-for-the-farm Girl instead of Not-quite-as-pretty Best Friend.
Speaking of which - this is what ticked me off about last night - the cutting heads episode. Okay, fair enough, obviously if they show the kid singing you know they are going to stay. And I was thrilled that my children's favorites (Sundance, New Dad and Curly-haired Funny-boy) and my favorites (Pretty Best Friend, Second-dorkiest White-girl and Single Mom) made it through. But I really think that the last two cuts were cruel and stupid.
Let me back up to say that on the first Hollywood night when they cut the entire first set of girls, that was cheap. There were some girls there who were perfectly good. They just did it to make a point and to scare the rest into really performing. Well, fine - but make sure you stack it with not very good singers! It is not fair to cut the good just to make a point. The same goes for the last two cuts last night.
Skinny Former-drama-club-geek and Pretty Best Friend were very close in talent - but PBF blew her words in the final performance and SFDCG rocked the house. And yet SFDCG has to leave? That is crap. Same goes for Sundance (and how I thank him for having a memorable name - I will eventually learn names - when we're down to 12) and Confidence Man - Sundance, if the clips they showed are to be believed, blew the whole week in Hollywood and CM sounded sweet the whole time. Any yet who is going through? The unique looking feller with the interesting back story. FDCG and CM wuz robbed!
I could have lived without Seizure Dancing Redhead and Barefoot Forever. I had hoped to link pictures from Fox's site so you would know who the heck I was talking about, but they don't have the contestants up yet! You would think they would have that ready to go as soon as it aired for obsessive fans. Way to disappoint, Fox...
Brunie - OUT!
Tuesday night I could have stood a look at more of the groups. I LOVED the beat box boys. They were so good. I was thrilled to see Hips-don't-lie Sexy-Colombianita go. Her personality was cute, but she couldn't sing for beans. And I was shocked that they cut Too-big-for-the-farm Girl instead of Not-quite-as-pretty Best Friend.
Speaking of which - this is what ticked me off about last night - the cutting heads episode. Okay, fair enough, obviously if they show the kid singing you know they are going to stay. And I was thrilled that my children's favorites (Sundance, New Dad and Curly-haired Funny-boy) and my favorites (Pretty Best Friend, Second-dorkiest White-girl and Single Mom) made it through. But I really think that the last two cuts were cruel and stupid.
Let me back up to say that on the first Hollywood night when they cut the entire first set of girls, that was cheap. There were some girls there who were perfectly good. They just did it to make a point and to scare the rest into really performing. Well, fine - but make sure you stack it with not very good singers! It is not fair to cut the good just to make a point. The same goes for the last two cuts last night.
Skinny Former-drama-club-geek and Pretty Best Friend were very close in talent - but PBF blew her words in the final performance and SFDCG rocked the house. And yet SFDCG has to leave? That is crap. Same goes for Sundance (and how I thank him for having a memorable name - I will eventually learn names - when we're down to 12) and Confidence Man - Sundance, if the clips they showed are to be believed, blew the whole week in Hollywood and CM sounded sweet the whole time. Any yet who is going through? The unique looking feller with the interesting back story. FDCG and CM wuz robbed!
I could have lived without Seizure Dancing Redhead and Barefoot Forever. I had hoped to link pictures from Fox's site so you would know who the heck I was talking about, but they don't have the contestants up yet! You would think they would have that ready to go as soon as it aired for obsessive fans. Way to disappoint, Fox...
Brunie - OUT!
Thursday, February 08, 2007
Hollywood, hurrywood
Some of these bad singers literally make me writhe in pain. I am so glad to be finished with the audition phase. In between the few really good singers, I have my fingers in my ears, screaming, "stop, please stop!!"
I did like tall, beautiful skater girl, and the big girl with big voice who sang "Think", and the very last guy, the small, happy version of Rubin, according to Simon.
I am psyched for Hollywood and the uncovering of the phonies that will no doubt ensue. Does anyone know how much time passes between the auditions and when everyone goes to Hollywood?
Love & kisses,
Mrs. Cynicletary
I did like tall, beautiful skater girl, and the big girl with big voice who sang "Think", and the very last guy, the small, happy version of Rubin, according to Simon.
I am psyched for Hollywood and the uncovering of the phonies that will no doubt ensue. Does anyone know how much time passes between the auditions and when everyone goes to Hollywood?
Love & kisses,
Mrs. Cynicletary
Tuesday, February 06, 2007
Ryan and Stealth Insults
Funniest line of the night:
(at least for the first half hour - won't see the rest until after school tomorrow)
When the bad singing person became upset with the judges for being "rude" (Have they never seen the show before?) Ryan pipes up with a heartfelt defense, "Hey, those are my friends, two of them..."
Loved the cousins! Loved how the blue suited one came in and sang badly on purpose to prepare the judges. Loved how he said, with no hesitation that his cousin is better. Loved how he "represented" for the cameras on the way out. Loved how the cousin came in pissed that his cousin was badly treated. Loved that he sang pretty. LOVED that he sang LET'S GET IT ON directly to Simon. Hey pal, don't let your voice make promises that Simon's inherent homophobia won't let you keep!
I am feeling good - we're in the homestrech. Almost to Hollywood.
Hollywood, baby! (as Randy says every time...)
(at least for the first half hour - won't see the rest until after school tomorrow)
When the bad singing person became upset with the judges for being "rude" (Have they never seen the show before?) Ryan pipes up with a heartfelt defense, "Hey, those are my friends, two of them..."
Loved the cousins! Loved how the blue suited one came in and sang badly on purpose to prepare the judges. Loved how he said, with no hesitation that his cousin is better. Loved how he "represented" for the cameras on the way out. Loved how the cousin came in pissed that his cousin was badly treated. Loved that he sang pretty. LOVED that he sang LET'S GET IT ON directly to Simon. Hey pal, don't let your voice make promises that Simon's inherent homophobia won't let you keep!
I am feeling good - we're in the homestrech. Almost to Hollywood.
Hollywood, baby! (as Randy says every time...)
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