“Wait for it . . . wait for it . . . Oh, did you blink? Sorry.”

That’s my summation of Hollywood “week,” and I’m beyond furious that we had to endure 25 weeks of audition dreck for such a measly reward. Grr! Arrggh! There is not a container large enough for my wrath. (So I shall channel my rage into blogging, and it that doesn’t do it—maybe my kids will be up for a game of full-contact Twister. Yeah.)

I was sad that Army Girl didn’t make it, though the minute she sang “many” as “mini,” I knew her time was up. (Not that the judges would say it that way, exactly—“Sorry, Army Girl, but we’re wicked snobs.”) And I was very surprised not to see anything of some former audition favorites, particularly Lovely with Lots of Hair (who sang “Over the Rainbow” in Minnesota) and Ebony the roller-skating waitress, especially given how Simon wet himself over the latter. And popstar-ready Bayley (“I was born a city girl, except on a farm”)? I assumed she’d make it through even if she hawked a loogy mid-song, again given Simon’s personal pee-fest. Well, you know what they say about “assume” (namely, Don’t do it ‘cause you could be wrong!).

The one and only thing I liked was that we literally saw every one of the Top 24, albeit for only a few seconds in some cases, but in any event—they won’t be total strangers come Tuesday, and maybe the bloody slaughter of the unknowns will be less immediate this time. Though, that being said, knowing the final list makes some of their choices even more inexplicable. “Chris R” and “Jared” over Tommy, the cute Afro-ed boy who sat in judgment with Sundance? “Nicole” and “Stephanie” over Joni Mitchell-channeling lip-pierced girl? (again, whom I’d assumed a shoo-in, once more due to Simon’s relentless self-piddling)

Crazy, man.

Of the 24, I especially like the two back-up singers, Brandon and Melinda (though she has got to stop making those “I’m passing a stone” faces while singing), New Dad Philip, Jack-Osbourne guy Chris, second-timer Nick Pedro, Gina G (last year’s fish-netted dental assistant, who has lovely harmonies), and golden girl Alaina (“If I don’t make it, I might have to . . . go to . . . college!” Hold on to your dream, girl! Don’t ever let go!).

I dislike Lakisha, professional single mom (though I have nothing against single moms! Well, as a demographic, anyway), but given the aforementioned Simon incontinence as far as she’s concerned, I know she’ll be around a while (you are SHEEP, America! SHEEP!), and I’m not wild about Sanjaya or Sundance. Beat Box Boy, America Ferrara (Jordin), and Haley, the young girl with the big hoop earrings—whatever.

As for less-heinous BFF Antonella—while I do like her voice, and I don’t blame her for the sins of her truly heinous BFF Amanda, I’m still disappointed that she didn’t turn to Amanda and say, “Girlfriend? God just called and wants me to smack you.” Ah, well. She’s young. And I suspect that she’ll do just fine without my support. (BAAHHH! BAAHHH!)

The Invisible 10 (Rudy, Paul, AJ, Chris, Jared, Stephanie, Leslie, Sabrina, Nicole, and Amy)—well, here’s hoping that one of them knocks it out of the park and rocks the house, á lá Bo, Chris, La Toya. We shall see! Much more to be revealed . . .

Lady Chardonnay (today’s look: Small-Town GrAnimals) OUT.