Bye - Sarver!

My dream came true and I now don't become enraged by any of the remaining contestants. Huzzah! To celebrate, I will post a quote from Jacob at TWoP, who summed up Wednesday night's show perfectly:

Matt G took two things that are not really all about sex -- himself and the song about getting it on -- and managed to make that less true than you might think. Kris Allen did his whole thing, and was a movable feast as usual, but seems to be losing weight. Scott no longer has a place in this competition, but becomes personally cooler every week. Megan Joy never had a reason to be here, and loses ever more charm each week. Anoop is a serious contender and his voice is like a well-trained beast that will get you a beer from the fridge. Sarver is a well-trained beast that will get you a beer from the fridge. Lil was awesome in about six decades at once. Adam Lambert explained through words and pictures that he is going to be winning this shit nine weeks from tonight. Danny Gokey has a voice and a cuteness, which is just not enough, and we've officially seen all he's got to offer. And then there's Allison, who is a weird savant at being on this show.

And I agree with him on all of that!

Brunie, OUT!

Not the best night for some favorites...

Thank God we get to listen to some excellent songs tonight! I enjoyed the Motown episode, and my critique goes something like this...

Matt: Matt's segment with Smokey was really touching. Man, how great must it be for Smokey to tell you that Marvin Gaye would have loved your version of his song! WOW! Matt was great and I continue to feel the love for him.

Kris, formerly Forgettable Guitar Boy: I did not forget guitar boy this week, and in fact I think that was his best performance. How sweet it is is a very simple song that could have been boring, but he did a very nice job with it. Good for you Memorable Guitar Boy!

Blind Kid: Sheesh. Can we please let him go home now with his boring and old-fashioned should be singing in a Christian "rock" band self.

Meghan: I love me some Meghan but she was just terrible last night. All off-key and messy. Pull it together, Meghan!

Anoop: He did a perfectly respectable job, but he is not thrilling me at all.

Oil Guy: Not good, Dude. You may have some of that country soul but you do not have any of that soul soul. That was really painful. Buh-bye?

Lil: I agree with Brunie that Lil and Danny had the same problem last night. Too rushed. They both have these big, cool, need some open air kind of voices, and very fast songs like they chose coop their voices up in gray cubicles. Stay mid-tempo and slower, kids!! And Brunie, that was a wig! Lil's hair has not grown four inches in one week!

Slicked back anime hair boy, Adam: Wow. Adam and his shiny things hanging off him self has been kind of annoying in previous weeks in spite of his big upper range vocals. But last night he was GREAT. EXCELLENT. SUBDUED YET EXCITING. And I really liked his retro 1960's suit. His best performance.

Danny: As previously stated, Danny picked a too-fast song like Lil. I love him, he is great and wonderful, but last night was not his best performance.

Allison: I continue to totally love me some Allison. Papa was a Rolling Stone is a super-cool song, and she sang it brilliantly! I still want browner tones to her hair, and the outfit was hideous, but her vocals are totally killer. She did blow a few lyrics, but covered it pretty well. She kicks ass!

I've decided that four judges is too many. There is too much time spent listening to them. And Kara is starting to bug me, all her artistry talk, who are you as an artist... She does have a point, but I am sick of her. Three judges is enough already.

I can only hope that the Blind, the Oily or the Anoopy go home tonight.

Love & Kisses,
Mrs. Cynicletary

MOTOWN!

Oh how I love Motown - the city of my birth – FYI. After the Chevy Suburban I am Detroit’s greatest export!

Matt sang LET’S GET IT ON and he seemed all over the place. He did a squatty little dance. He has a great voice and he can play piano, but he is toothy and dull-ish.

Kris is singing HOW SWEET IT IS and I am kind of excited because I do like this song. He sounds good, but nothing that thrilling. I both he and Matt have great vocals, but it is a testimony to the quality of singers this season that I am not all that jazzed…

(Dare I admit that I can’t wait to see what Adam Lambert has for me tonight?)

Scott (still blind) sang YOU CAN’T HURRY LOVE. I am thinking that he will be eviscerated by the judges, but I thought it was he best performance so far! Of course I love honky-tonk piano. Simon got crayons and Scott was charming. I just wish he could sing better, because that is what it comes down to.

Megan Joy blew chunks with FOR ONCE IN MY LIFE. I could barely listen.

Anoop sang OOOOOH, BARBIE, BARBIE. I mean BABY, BABY – and it was kind of dull. It sounded like it always sounds. He has a nice voice and didn’t put me off my feed like Megan did, but his shirt was messy and he didn’t sell it. Such a nice boy, though.

Sarver is next with AIN’T TOO PROUD TO BEG. He says he is going to “take it to church” which is a phrase I find incredibly endearing. I am still looking forward to him leaving. Smokey tells him to BEG, dammit, but he still has his happy, dopey smile on. He is not feeling the song at all. And I am not feeling him.

Paula is back on her game again – I love smart Paula. She still talks crazy, but I kind of understand her crazy talk. And she knows what she is talking about. In other news, “I am being true to I am” is the most annoying thing you can say to me. Seriously, want to get slapped? Tell me you are being true to yourself. Why do people thing that makes them noble? I blame Shakespeare. Suck it, Shakespeare. And Sarver.

Lil sang HEATWAVE. She had a nice little history moment at Motown. And look at her with her hair down! I got a little teary when she went over to the back-up singers because she just looked to classic Motown. The song is kind of a cliché to me, but she sounded great. And good grief – I kind of agreed with RANDY for heaven’s sake. She still sounded great, and she looked great, but it wasn’t her best.

ADAM!!! Okay, I guess I have a favorite now. I am not poaching, Char, but he is the one I look forward to. And he asked Somkey what inspired him to write it. He is so respectful. And he looks all cute and Chris Isaacs-y! Man I wish I could go back in time and vote for him a million times.

L’il Danny is singing GET READY. I imagine he will sound good. And I laughed when he said “I was thinking – is that going to work? – of course it is going to work. He knows what he is talking about!” He sounds great. He has a good voice, and it is essentially the same performance as Lil, but he isn’t as pretty. So nothing great but he is safe for this week.

I am so glad Allison is in the pimp spot! And I love PAPA WAS A ROLLING STONE. The guitar is so good - wocka-wocka-wocka. She sings real good, but the song seemed too short to me. I guess that is a good sign. Kara wet her pants over it. Simon drew a mustache on Paula. He can barely keep his stuff together he is laughing so hard over it.

The judges entertained me far more than the singers tonight - other than Adam, who I now will claim as my spiritual son. Even though that would make me a teen mom. But he was such an easy baby – always singing and cooing and painting his nails.

I am feeling the love this season – singing-wise Adam, Danny, Lil and Allison are my favorites. Personality-wise I just love Scott, Allison and Anoop. I could care less about Kris and Matt and I want Megan and Scott to die of thirst. KIDDING! But it make me laugh and laugh to think of Mr. Lady Chardonay saying that. My pal Honest Liz will often say it and we will laugh and laugh. This post is taking a disturbing turn. Everyone please stay hydrated. Even MJ and Sarver.

Brunie – OUT!

No Idol Tonight

Stay home and watch our foxy president. Idol will be on tomorrow. Despite what TV Guide and the Boston Globe try to tell you!

See you then!

—Lady C, who's been fooled before

Please don't take my chance to be on the idols tour...

Yay - Motown next week! That is the good news. The bad news is that "Pinky" went home. The last Idol whose name I couldn't remember is now gone. I like her voice but ultimately the only thing that bugs me about her leaving is that it wasn't Sarver. He bugs me. Just bugs me.

The results were about what I expected. I was worried for Allison, and was relieved she stuck around.

Paula is back on the sauce. "I would be surprised that any of them are in the bottom three." Hmmm... I don't really know how time and space align in her reality - but clearly "bottom" means something different.

Brunie - OUT!

Talented Season

I think this is the season o'talent beyond any other year, mostly because I have so little hatred for any of the contestants.

Oil guy: Just OK, again, he is out of his league and likely doomed owing to his lead-off spot.

Lil: She looked beautiful tonight, the hair, make-up, and dress were very classy and suited her perfectly. She sang well, but since I do not know that song, I was confused. The first verse is about going to the fair, and then she went straight to the chorus about Independence Day, but clearly important information from verse 2 was missing! I mean what happened at the fair to make her declare that it was her Independence Day?? It can't be happy.

Blind guy: BORING! Dude, time to go. It is painful to watch him try to deal with choreography on the results night shows. Those group numbers are so attrociously High School musical, it's bad enough, but with someone having to lead him around to the music, it's cringetastic.

Rocker Girl Allison: I LOVE her voice. I WANT her to add 2 parts brunette to her next hair dye session.

Danny: He is the only one whose voice brings a tear to my eye. He is GREAT, and I am still counting him in the finale.

Alexis: I found her much less annoying than last week. She had a couple of little pitch issues, but she looked and sounded very nice.I want her bit of pink hair to grow out until there is just 1/8" of it showing. Then it will be cool. Have you noticed I'm picky about the dye jobs?

Anoop: Not as hideous as last week, but, like Oil guy, he is out of his league. If teeny girls and teeny girls at heart don't vote like madpeople, he could go soon.

Anime Hair Boy: Hmm. That was very interesting. I am not sure that I like his arrangement but I give him all props for doing something different and for his total commitment to his decision. Those high notes he hits continue to amaze, but I still find him fakey. And does he always have to have something shiny hanging off him? I hate those visible silver zipper pants he seems to wear every week too. You've got to hand it to him for being who he is. But, I would not want him over for dinner. I bet he's a pain in the neck vegan or something!

Megan: Many cannot stand her, but I am not among them. I enjoy her quirky pronunciation, and her little dance. I think her quirks are authentic and organic. And for crying out loud, if only I could look that beautiful with the flu. I like her a lot no matter what anyone else says. And Walking After Midnight is one on a very short list of country songs that I can tolerate.

Forgettable Guitar Boy, tonight without guitar: He is good. He is kinda in a no-mans land (maybe with Megan) between the bottom tier of Anoop and Oil Guy and the uppermost tier with Danny, Lil, Adam and Matt.

Matt: I was hoping for a Ray Charles song from him last night. However, he is mad talented and I love him. He is, as a colleague said, like Justin Timberlake's less handsome cousin.

As stated, it is an extremely talented group this year with Danny, Matt, Lil, Adam, and Allison all worthy of the title. I bet more hit records come from this season than any other. I'm feeling a goodbye to Blind Guy or Oil Guy tonight. We'll see. At least country night is over with for this season.

Love & Kisses,
Mrs. Cynicletary

Lady Char Has Been RIght All Along!

Usually it takes me until the top 4 or so to realize that LC has been right about the charisma of whichever Idolette she has anointed as her fave. I have agreed from the beginning about Allison the teenage savant but I have missed the charm of Adam until tonight. You see, he makes me feel weird. Not like when you climb a rope in gym class - but like he is trying to entice me. And I wasn't buying.

But last night - RING OF FIRE was brilliant. He just was so weird I KNEW he was trying to FREAK ME OUT ON PURPOSE. It was amazing. I am listening to it for the fifth time as I type. For the first time since Chikeze, I wish the idols were allowed to sing a longer song! I have never denied that he has a killer voice, but this arrangement, performance and everything is the best of the season so far!

So to back up (I only saw up to Anoop last night and am forging ahead this morning - thanks TiVo! )

Sarver sang a song I don't care about and did fine and got a little shirty and earned a "Shut up Sarver!" from me. ("If we were all perfect we wouldn't need this show." Huh? Your logic mystifies me. And do we "need" this show? Well, okay, I guess I kind of do, but just to break the monototny. Shut up again, Sarver.

Allison was awesome as ever and her hair looked great.

Kris bored me beyond whatever singing whatever.

Lil maybe was next - sounding great as always. Looking great. They damned her with faint praise and Simon called her Little which seemed so demeaning, but she didn't bitch slap him. So yay Lil!

ADAM-O-VISION!! (see above)

Scott is still blind. He might by my favorite personality-wise. Simon and Paula got into a little bitch-fight over him being blind and tied to a piano. He was charming about it and I didn't have to shush him.

Pinky-Lee took my favorite Dolly song and made it dull. But she can sing and look cute at the same time. She got a little shirty too and I yelled at her a little.

Danny looked like Admiral Byrd and sounded freaking amazing and got to be a little Jesus-friendly as a bonus. The mama's and I all noticed that he is getting a littly jowly.

Anoop sounded great and the judges loved him. Yay, Anoop!!

Megan sounds weird. Is she Eartha Kitt or something? I like the way she toggles a song around and I like the quality of her voice - but her accent is weird. I think she is going to flummox the judges. She sure is purty, though. Let's see what they think! Randy was nice and he called right up front that she is sick. Carla was supportive. Yikes, hospital! I am glad they were nice and I am glad there was a reason for the weirdness.

Matt is in the pimp spot. I forgot he plays the piano! He sounded great but I don't care about that stupid song. He can really play and sing. Technically, he is really good. I just am not interested in him.

To look over everyone - Sarver and Kris and Pinky are the weak ones for me. And they weren't even bad - just dull. Watching the "these are the numbers" recap, they were really good tonight! I wasn't gripped last night, but watching this morning, it was really enjoyable. Huh...

Brunie - OUT!

"It left me confused, and sort of happy"

(Quoth Kara, re: Adam's crazy-ass performance)

I . . . am somewhat at a loss. Maybe Country Night is just not for me? But on the whole . . . tonight was way less fun than last week. And I was SO looking forward to watching in real time with my kids!

There were bright spots, for sure. But I found myself looking at the clock. A LOT.

My favorites, Allison and Adam, were (respectively) a little dull and a little weird (though I laughed hysterically through Adam's entire song. Wherever did he find that version? It was definitely . . . entertaining). Danny was also a little dull.

While I thought Lil was magnificent, that opinion was shared only by my brain twin tonight, Miss Paula. But then Paula lost me when she became absurdly prickly and defensive in response to Simon's UNMITIGATED ASSYNESS, not that she wasn't well within her rights, but still. Someone has to be the grown-up.

(And Simon looks like a bum in his sloppy, ill-fitting T-shirt. What is wrong with him?)

And then there were the pee-fests that left me totally baffled. I agree that it was Kris Allen's best performance (and he was much less Fabian-y without the guitar). And Anoop was fine, and Matt was fine (except he sounds to me like he has a pretend voice). But—best in show? Baffling.

Megan Joy was actively bad, I thought, singing a plaintive song with a big ol' cocky grin, but I'll cut her some slack for illness. However, if America is less compassionate and forgiving than moi, I will not hold a grudge.

Going home, then, I think is either Megan Joy or Alexis, who also had a weak-ish night, once again forcing her lyrics too much. But it could also be Michael, who might get lost in the sea of strong boys (though I enjoyed his toe-tapping performance—he looked like he was having a great time). We shall see.

Fingers crossed that next week is Girl Groups (how many guys sang Carrie or Martina tonight?!) or something else I'll find more palatable . . . !

Lady Chardonnay, tired and OUT.

"Give me five minutes . . . and I'll sort you out"

Some very quick thoughts before we leave last week entirely:

• Lil sounded great, not at all karaoke, and I want her earrings.
• Scott chose a song I don't know and didn't love, and sounded less great than usual. I wonder if this is the versatility issue I raised last week? He may not have any game beyond power ballads. Time will tell . . .
• Danny gave a great performance. Said Mim0sa: "He reminds me of Chikeze! He's so bouncy! I think everyone's gonna love him!"
• Big Michael sang the words "I thought I heard you cry . . ." with a big grin on his face. Dope.
• Jasmine, for once, didn't sing through her nose. Alas: Too little, too late.
• The whole time Kris Allen sang, I was thinking, "At last—the Fabian for our times!" I asked Mimosa if she loved him. She thought about it and said, "He might be in my Top 6." No false idols for my girl.
• Redheaded Allison sang a song I hated in that husky voice I love. She is far and away my favorite girl. I don't get the "boring" thing at all, I think she's cute and funny as all giddy-up.
• Anoop—oh well. Not the greatest.
• I cannot watch Jorge as he undulates before me. He may sound fine. I cannot watch.
• Megan Joy is very cute and sings a wretched gimmick song. What was she thinking? Tonight her voice has less of that terrible weirdness I usually hate, but it also makes her less unique.
• Adam Lambert, HOW I LOVE YOU, ADAM LAMBERT!!!!! Get in line, Simon! While I also did not so much understand the plot of this song, I nonetheless felt like an entire rock opera unfolded before our eyes. In three minutes. Adam Lambert is AMAZING. Luv luv luv. (When he teared up at Paula's comments, Mimosa and I spontaneously "Ooooh"d. We heart Adam!)
• Matt Giraud looks like JT and sounds fine. Not sure I get the wild love from my pal Mrs. C, but hey. I'm glad she's feeling someone.
• Alexis rushed to get all the words in and was way too screamy in spots. Alexis . . . not long for this world, I fear.

Adam and Allison are my favorites, by a long mile, and then Danny and Lil and maybe Scott, and I really don't care that much about any of the rest of them—but no one horrifies me, either (I would have said something different if Jorge were still with us), and that? Is a nice place to be sitting, my friends.

I 100 percent agree with Brunie—I was entertained for nearly the whole two hours. Buckle up—it's going to be a fun season!

Lady Chardonnay OUT!

I'm not Rameses...

OK, just because I write, "So let it be written so let it be done", like Pharaoh Rameses from The Ten Commandments does not mean that I will be right and my will be done. It's a lesson I must learn time and again.
Poor Jorge got the boot, although he really is a better singer than Anoop. Anoop is just more appealing to tweens. Jasmine deserved to go though - she is just not quite ready for this stage. In both cases, the two who departed wouldn't have lasted long. Just like Simon says, don't feel bad you wouldn't have won anyway.
Love & Kisses,
Mrs. Cynicletary

Not bad

Overall, the kids did pretty well last night.
Lil: Fantastic vocals - ugly outfit
Danny - HE MAY WIN IT ALL! Just a truly great singer without the fakiness of Anime haircut boy
Anime haircut boy: Great Axel Rose type vocals but fake and insincere bordering on the smarmy. He is not on stage where he has to play to the back row, tone it down a notch, Dude.
Blind Kid: Sweet.
Jasmine: Just OK, she sang I'll be there just like the Mariah Carey version note for note.
Oil guy: Good. Out of his league though, and he may go tonight.
Forgettable guitar boy: Tweens might think he's cute.
Rockin' girl Allison - That girl can crazy SING - ZOWEE! She will go far (especially if she changes her hair color)!
Anoop: Nowhere near good enough. Goodbye to him or oil guy.
Jorge: Beautiful voice, but as Simon said the arrangement and delivery were SO old fashioned.
Matt: MATT! GREAT! LOVE!
Alexis: She seemed rushed on that number, I do not love her like others do. Her outfit was slammin' though!

So, again, Oil guy or Anoop will go the bye-bye tonight. Lil, Danny, Matt, Anime haircut boy and Rockin girl will be the final five. So let it be written. So let it be done.
Love & Kisses,
Mrs. Cynicletary

"You can be artistic, but not on this show."

So - the show entertained me last night! And through the joy of insomnia, I am able to get this post up early.

So LIL started us out and she looked and sounded great. I can see why they push her so hard. She seems like she can be huge if she wants to. I even liked the arrangement of the song that I like anyway!

SCOTT is so sweet. He's blind you know. He did okay, his playing is better than his singing. The judges seemed to give him a tongue bath, but the non-cynical me loves having him on the show. There is no way he can go to the end of the competition, but I like how they are making compensations for him in a natural way - having the guys sing from the couch in the group sing last week. He is opening people's eyes to living with disabilities. (heh) As a temporarily partially blind person, I appreciate what he is doing for our people.

Who knew DANNY Gokey would be so awesome? I have to say that the whole dead wife thing was getting on my nerves. (Not his personal response to it and I think he handled it pretty well. But his supporters and the show were all like, "Looky, looky - tragedy!") He kicked butt on PYT! He sang beautifully. Simon likened him to Michael MacDonald, and I agree. And I thought his dancing was cute!

Oil Rigger MATT (I wish we knew what you do for a living?" - Simon. HA!) didn't impress me last night, but just now when I was typing about Danny in the above paragraph I was listening in the background and it sounded, frankly, amazing! I think he sang passionatly. Also, just a shout out to Paula who is making me love her this season! I wonder if it is the spectre of Kara (who I am liking less as the season progresses. She must practice sucking in her cheekbones.) being the "together" one is making her pick up her game. Or maybe she is just awesome.

I like JASMINE - she is as cute as a button singing I'LL BE THERE (yay!). And has a beautiful voice. She just doesn't seem to have that "something". However, Carrie seemed dull as dirt for the first half of her winning season, so I am not writing her off yet.

KRIS sounded good and looked cute (That jawbone -I could slay a lion with it!) singing DO YOU REMEMBER? Did you see his wife's face when Simon said she should have kept her hidden. She was NOT impressed. Ha! "Very well job done, baby" says Randy. Jacob from TWoP (one of the three things Lady Char and I disagree on - bedtimes and the food pyramid are the other two) has refused to recap what Randy says because it is usually so much nonesense. I see his point...

ALLISON sounds great and reminds us that she is "ethicnic" too. Her outfit is gross, but she sounds great. I don't really like the song, GIVE IT TO ME . Wilbur asked, "Give her what?" Mrs. Mama (who is trying to fatten me up - she puts out the best snacks when we go over to watch!) immediatly lept in - "Feelings! She wants feelings!" heh...She is so goofy, I like her a lot. (I meant Allison, but Mrs. Mama, too!) She sounds great and I think she is working on the personality. And bringing the relavent teen issue of cutting into the mainstream. I don't know if people caught that, but I did laugh. (I know, it isn't funny. But it was such a teenage girl think to say.)

Oh ANOOP! (And stop calling him AnoopDog - he is a grad student for heaven's sake...) I am typing this before listneing to the judges so I can not be influenced. (We had to leave the Mama's house after Allison because sometimes there are bedtimes... So I am watching the rest now. Thanks, TiVo!) He didn't sound his best, even I - who don't notice these things - heard his vocals slip a couple times. But he looked so cute and fierce-ish and dangerous. You know, for him. Like he might just poke the air near his enemies with his index finger and tell them that he is really disappoint in their inability to talk it out like civilized people. And his mom is the cutest thing ever! I can't believe that the judges hated it! I hope that people don't listen. Can I just point out that Micheal Jackson has less testosterone than my 92 year old grandma! How did he get away with it? Come on America - don't disappoint me - if you liked Slumdog, you'll love Anoopdog! (Okay, I will pimp him a little...)

JORGE is going to sing NEVER CAN SAY GOODBYE - my favorite J5 song! His outfit is my favorite of the night. Man, he looks normal! He sounds pretty, a little run-happy. The arrangement isn't my favorite. But I do hope he isn't cannon fodder. It seemed week at first. And I kind of agreed with Randy. Shocking! And Paula - is she taking reality pills? She is like a real person tonight. And Simon is kind a bitch. Have you noticed?

Lord, I am tired of Micheal Jackson...

MEGAN'S mom is a TEENAGER! I am glad they show her mom taking care of the baby. You know, Lil mentioned her kids too. And Matt's homely little girl (sorry, but really - I am sure she'll get cuter...) got to be at the show. Double standard? Anyway - I don't love Megan's voice, but I think she kicks some butt with her vocals and she has cute little dance moves. And she CAWS at the end! How cute! I kind of loved her tonight. She has some nice little quirky bits. Wow, they didn't like her and it was the first time I have really liked her.

Oh Lady Char, in addition to bedtime, Jacob and the food pyramid, there is also ADAM. I think he is adorable. He seems funny and personable, but his performance style irritates me. The little moues the hip swinging, these things make me crazy. He has great stage presence and amazing talent. I think he will go far and I LIKE him. But I don't enjoy watching him perform. I don't know if it because he is SO polished. And what does this song mean? I know it is about equality and the message is good. But "If you're thinking about my baby, it don't matter if you're black or white." Um, okay - is he saying, "Please think about my baby." or is he saying "I am going to kick your ass if you are thinking about my baby, regardless of your background."? It is a puzzle.

I have been reserving judgement on MATT. I wasn't a big fan at first, but piano players make me happy. And his playing doesn't seem to impede his vocals. He sings HUMAN NATURE which was a big hit the summer before my senior year of high school and reminds me of pretending to be in college and sneaking into dive bars. He sounds pretty and he is growing on me. His mom and dad are cute as buttons. (I can't stop! Buttons are cute, dammit! But Kara brought it up...) And not to be obsessed with race (Although I have mentioned it a few times this post. But Adam brought it up!) is his mom biracial? In his baby pictures, she appeared to be - but her unfortinate current-day hairstyle is throwing me off.

ALEXIS is making sure we know she is a good mom, too. You betcha. Her dad looks like Joel from MST3K but all doughy. Before she even starts, I am excited because they have put her in the pimp spot. But frankly, I am not that impressed. Her vocals are pretty good. Her outfit is slutty. She kind of got rushed through in the comments because ths show was running over. And she is going to get hosed over the phone number inconsistancy. Perhaps this will be the first time the last singer was sent home this early in the competition.

Okay, if we are going by singing - Scott and Anoop going home.

But if we are looking realistically - Jasmine or Alexis or Kris or Jorge or can you tell I have no idea?

My faves? Danny, Matt and surprisingly Megan!

I am so excited about tomorrow. Wow, I was entertained for nearly the whole two hours nearly.

Brunie - OUT!

"Cute as a Button" Is NOT a Singing Evaluation

(Alternate title: "I Could Not Kara Less")

I greeted her with an open mind and gave her a chance, but now I'll say it: The Kara Experiment has fizzled. It's not that she's a bad judge, per se; rather, it's that she brings nothing new to the table:

• Industry cred (already covered by Randy and Simon)
• Occasionally astute comments (Simon, sometimes others)
• Occasionally off-the-wall comments (all of them, but mostly Randy)
• Estrogen and pretty outfits (Paula, Ryan)
• Arrogance (Simon)

She's got nothing else, and it's just too much chat. And with Paula stepping up her game (which Brunie so beautifully outlined), Paula's more indispensable than ever. Kara can ride out the season, but then I hope she just keeps on wagon-training.

So, once again I missed Tuesday's show in real time (I have a four-week Tuesday class, so I'll miss Wild Card Night as well**), but I've watched the tape and am again blogging blind—I don't know what the results are.

Funny show—the second half was so much better than the first, and this is also the first time we have vastly more than three contenders for the top spots. I wish they could bag two of the kids from the first week and pick five tonight. Oh, well.

Von Smith starts us off with a much more modulated performance than he's offered before. Though it's my favorite Von performance, it's still just OK, but it's good to know Von can dial it down.

Tall Taylor Vaitanua looks great and sounds shaky. Paula says, "We heard you sing this in Holly wood Week—why not show us something new?" And I'm thinking, We who, girlfriend? WE, the viewing audience, have barely seen Tall Taylor! Anything she sings is new to us! And then Kara makes her bizarre comment about shopping. Wacky show!

Alex Wagner-Trugman promises to be my boyfriend tonight, which is very nice. I've had worse offers, let me tell you. What an endearing little dork. Alas, we'll not see Alex again.

Arianna Afsar makes me indignant on her behalf—she KNOWS that "cute" is a compliment, Kara! And she also knows—AS SHOULD YOU—that if the headline of the review is "Cute as a button!" this is not good news for her singing. Unfortunately, Arianna chooses the wrong song by a mile, and I can't really root for her.

Cutie-pie Ju'not Joyner sings "Hey There Delilah" so sweetly. Exciting? No. But sweet? Yes. On another night (yes, I'm pointing at YOU, Kris Allen) this would be enough to get him through, but tonight is not that night.

Kristen McNamara is blonde-hued tonight, rather than purple, but wears the stupidest dress ever. How I would love to dress this girl! She's cute and goofily sexy (á la Alyson Hannigan) and could look totally hot in the right outfit. Hmm, perhaps I should mention that I really love her voice as well. Perhaps I should have led with that. It's easy to get distracted with this girl. My fingers are crossed hard.

Nathaniel Crying Boy Marshall sings a fabulous Meat Loaf song not as badly as one (meaning: I) might have expected. And possibly secretly hoped. However, in a night of strong singers, he doesn't have a chance.

Felicia "Mommy Come Lately" Barton is our replacement for Joanna Lyric-Forgetter, looks gorgeous and Cher-ish, and sounds fantastic! Though she puts an "H" in front of the word "you"—"hyoo"—which I found distracting. Still, I like her a lot. Not as much as Kristen or Tonight's Designated Girl Star, but a solid third, for sure.

Scott MacIntyre has a simply beautiful voice. If he sounds this good sans piano, the competition is his oyster. I'm curious to see/hear how versatile he'll be in the weeks to come, as I can only remember him singing power ballads. Nonetheless—sign me firmly on the love train for this guy.

Kendall Beard, Cameron Diaz's country cousin, sings a dopey two-lyric song very cutely. Again, alas—not enough to get her through tonight.

(Side note: Last names that are nouns always tickle me. For that reason alone, I will dearly miss Kendall Beard.)

Jorge Eyebrows Nuñez sounds fine singing a song that's been sung to death on this show. Also, I find him hard to watch. But his voice is very nice.

Tonight's Designated Girl Star, Lil Rounds, looks FANTASTIC (what a tiny waist she has!) and sounds amazing, singing a song I dislike intensely. I hate hate HATE that Mary J. Blige/Fantasia-like sound, but this babe can seriously blow.

Going forward without a doubt: Scott and Lil. But the next spot—hully gee! We have several excellent contenders: Kristen (fingers crossed), Jorge, Felicia, Ju'not, and possibly even Von. An embarrassment of riches!

OK, let me go check my predictions now.

* * * *
Yep: Scott, Lil, and Jorge. That is fine.

I accidentally saw the list of Wild Cardees: Von Smith, Jasmine Nasal Murray, Ricky Braddy, Tattooed Megan Joy Corkrey, Tatiana Train Wreck Del Toro, Matt Giraud (it's not zher-OH, it's zher-ODD), Jesse Langseth and Anoop Desai. Wow, I have to say that this stuns me. Only one person from last night—the strongest night yet—but three from awful Week 1 and four from boring Week 2? Madness. My only hope is that they'll choose four more to make it a group of 12 . . . but it is a faint hope, given the presence of Von.

** Having now read my TV Guide, I see that Wild Card Night is TONIGHT. And I will miss it because I have a meeting. Oh, well! One of these days Idol and I will both be back on schedule.

Until then!

Lady Chardonnay OUT!

Hey Hey Paula!

I am on a chat list (Hi IDOL CHATTERS!) with my pal Ms Southern Fried Lawyer and she wrapped up the episode for me neatly - "I think the performances tonight were largely forgettable. I think Lil was, by far, the best (I could have done without the plea for votes in the song, though). I think she, Scott and Jorge go through.....IMHO the tears sealed it for Jorge." Well said, SFL.

As far as the non Jorge, Scott and Lil performances (all three of which I liked far more than I have liked them in the past - except Lil's "call this show" thing which made me groan) the one that surprised me was Von. He has done nothing but irritate me from the get to, and I really enjoyed him for the first time.

Also, Ju'not, who I liked the whole time, did a wonderful thing - he made me not want to rip out my own throat hearing HEY THERE DELILAH, the whiniest little turd of a song ever. He sounded good. Although I do think they gushed a little more than was necessary.

I liked last night much better than the previous two "cutting-heads" rounds. Although I have to say, most of the girls made me sleepy with the exception of that little country singer in the yellow dress who had some pep to her, even if her voice was a little shrill. And I kind of liked the "Janie come lately" stay-at-home-mom. She said "Oh my gosh!' instead of "Oh my God!" which always endears me to a contestant. It makes them seem more polite somehow.

I am very excited about the wild card round. I think that because they have double the boys, it is going to be at least 2 girls, if not 3 being chosen. This makes me sad for Anoop, because I think that he is lovely. Also, the fluffy haired keyboard guy who walked off stage in Hollywood. But it bodes well for that tiny little teenage girl from the diva group who has all the older sisters and maybe the annoying rocker-chick who needs it so bad and sounds like she smokes 15 packs of luckies a day. And maybe cute-as-a-button, who I was so proud of for not bursting into tears last night and who I adore because she wants to succeed without people focusing on her looks. HAH!! So sweet, but that will change. I loved Kara (who is, frankly more annoying than usual) saying, basically, "No, sister - pimp those looks! Sell it!"

And finally PAULA!!! Oh my gosh! She remembered everything everyone sang, she remembered names from weeks ago that no one else did. She gave thoughtful and intelligent advice. I LOVED HER SO MUCH. Stay Paula, stay just like this!

I will be fast forwarding tonight and watching with interest tomorrow!

Brunie-OUT!

Baby Love

(I am speaking of my love child, Adam Lambert. LOVE him! But not in a pervy Mrs. Robinson kind o' way, I just want to nestle him to my motherly bosom and take away his pain. Except, he's feeling no pain; have we ever met such a cheerful cocky boy? LOVE this kid!)

So my goal of timely blogging promptly hit a snag: When Idol and Lost square off, there is no contest; I'm hangin' with Sun and Sayid. And there never seemed to be a good time to watch my tape, though I finally did watch it. But, my hand to God, Gentle Readers, as of this writing, I don't know what the results are. I'll look them up before I finish. But I am practically writing in real time, or at least real oblivion, as we speak. Cherish the moment!

I have to say, though, I hope they bag this "Top 36" Slaughter of the Innocents nonsense before next year. Saying goodbye to one or two people at a time, that we can handle, but saying goodbye to nine? It's too much. So we shut off, which means that we don't care about any of them. I haven't voted once, I am not remotely invested, Stevie's gone, I just don't care.

So, in a state of profound ennui, I say: Bring on the next 12! But I had to force myself to type that exclamation point.

Jasmine Nasal survived a four-way with Bikini Girl, but alas, that was her Idol highlight. She is not good at all.

Matt Giraud (who knew this was pronounced phonetically? I've been saying "zher-oh") sounds fine singing an awful song. Too bad, I kind of like him.

Dang me, there's a lot of chat afterward!

Jeanine Vailes, so very old at 28, promises that she'll do better and choose a better song next time. Honey—if you can do better than this, why didn't you do it this time? Ryan made me laugh, though: "Based on their reactions, Jeanine, what did you do . . . to your legs to prepare?" She does indeed have very nice legs, even for a crone.

(Twenty-eight! Honey! I have purses older than you!)

Norman Spastic . . . is not even funny. For God's sake, Randy will laugh at lint. How desperately I hope that this is the last time I will ever write this person's name.

"Red"headed Alison Irahita is fantastic! Focused, calm, controlled, and she sounds great. I wish I'd seen her before, so I had something to compare this to. But it looks like she just may break the invisibility curse. Good for you, "Red"!

Kris Invisible is boring and over-sings, in my opinion, though the judges disagree. Simon opines, "I think the chicks are going to love you." Simon, you're so '70s! We're "birds" now.

Megan Joy Corkrey with the tattooed arm looks very pretty, wiggles fetchingly, and is undoubtedly talented; I simply hate her voice. But I don't hold that against her. Paula hearts her, which I find cute.

Matt Breizke, aka Big Bald Guy, has a lovely voice and sings a weird-ass song. Hysterically, one of the judges refers to "the great Matt we saw in Hollywood"—yeah, that would be the Matt whom you forced to do a sing-off, that's how great you thought he was. Dopes.

Jessie Langseth looks scary and bloodless, but the more she talks, the more I start to like her a little. Her voice is scary, though. I don't know what to think of Jessie.

I love Kai Kalama the person and I like Kai Kalama the singer and I have high hopes. Alas, Kai Kalama chose tonight to pass a stone. He sounds okay (especially during the growly bits), but his wrenched-up face is alarming.

Mishavonna Henson is a nice girl who sings a bad song. Sing with me now: "Eh-eh-eh-eh." Yeah, that was the song. Oy, these current modern songs of today! ("If that's music, what's that stuff Cole Porter wrote?" Quick, quiz kids, what am I quoting?)

And then, and then. The clouds parted, the sun broke through, Obama was president all over again, and I was six kinds of happy! Adam Lambert brought the party, belting "Satisfaction" as he made love to his microphone. What a FUN performance! He made me laugh out loud from sheer joy. Take that, Norman Wannabe! (Yes, I typed the name again, of my own free will. Such is the power of Adam Lambert.)

Now here's where it gets crazy for me and Idol shoots itself in the foot. With this top vote-getter, top boy, and top girl construct, the three top vote-getters don't necessarily get picked. Which is WRONG. Say that Adam Lambert is the top vote-getter, which I fully expect, and that Alison Red is the top girl (ditto). This means that even if Megan Joy is our next runner-up, she doesn't make the top three! Instead, they have to choose from the less exciting boy pool. Oh, well.

So those are my predictions: Adam, Alison, and a random boy (I'm hoping for Kai, but it could be Big Matt or Kris Invisible).

And now I'm going to go see how I did.

* * * * *

Well, who is the smartest Lady ever? Would anyone else have predicted Kris Invisible? Weird, though.

So our Top 12 so far comprises a lot of boys—Dead Wife Danny, Big Mike Sarver, Adam Nummy, and Kris Invisible—and two cool girls, Alison Red and Alexis Pink. Curious.

I'm looking for some more girls to bring it next week (meaning: tonight), though I fear the two "stars" are also boys: Blind Piano Man Scott and Crying Boy Nathaniel. Sigh.

'Til then!

Lady Chardonnay OUT.