Love is Blind (Insert Andrea Bocelli joke here)

Another fascinating night of songs I wouldn't recognize if they smacked me in the face with a mackerel.

First up, Kat impressed me! Not just her gravity defying bosoms and her mastery of double sided tape - but her actual singing! I loved "I Have Nothing", a song that no one believes I never heard of before. Listen, 1993 I was busy with a newborn. I didn't even turn on the radio. I listened to Nina Simone and the sounds of crying and spitting up. I am pretty sure the aforementioned newborn enjoyed Kat's "gifts". The judges were pretty harsh.

Elliot sang a song I never heard of ("A Song for You". For me? Well, thanks...) by an artist I never heard of! Who is this Donnie Hathaway person and why do I not know him? Just how old am I? He sounded good, as ever. I cracked up when Simon said in parts it seemed like a master class in singing. Puh-lease! It sounded nice. That's it.

Kellie was fine, as ever singing "Unchained Melody". And yet the judges turned on her like a bunch of addicts on a PCP bender. Like a mama bear defending her cub. Like an old French whore. Maybe I will stop asking my spouse for random metaphors for crazy people. At any rate - they were mean and she hung her head and said she deserved it. That girl was born to apologize.

Paris was delightful with her flippy '70s hair singing "The Way We Were". Lady C. made me laugh and laugh discussing the crazy ways they used to do things back a long time ago when Paris was young. Can it be that it was all so simple then? I love Princess P and I will cry and cry next week when they send her home.

Taylor, who usually irritates me whenever he is not singing, managed to irritate me while singing by boring-up a favorite song of mine, "Just Once" which throws me back in time to the days when I would make out behind the roller skating rink on Christian Youth night in the early '80s. It was so much simpler then... Now the guy that owns the rink throws rocks at me and threatens to call the police. Anyway - Taylor was dull. And I loathe him. And I hope Mrs.C is right and he goes home. Unless he doesn't stink next week.

"Have You Ever Really Loved a Woman?" Chris has. He really, really has. And he can sing about it real pretty-like.

Wednesday was 14 hours worth of boring stuffed into a 30 minute sack. Everything sucked except for the look on Taylor's face when he realised that he was either only the third or fourth vote getter of the night. You could totally tell that he thought that he and Elliot were the top two. Heh...

Kellie was fine about leaving and I wish her the best. My heart broke a little for her (not really, that is a metaphor, one I picked out myself with no help from the Metaphor Master I married) when she said that she was no longer ashamed of how she was brought up or something like that. It was kind of sweet and I choose to believe that she is a little smarter than she lets on, but genuinely nice.

Oh how I hope anybody but Paris goes home next week.

Brunie, OUT!