Yee Haw!

hat,
originally uploaded by thejoyofidol.

For a pair of drunkards, Lady C and Mrs. C are very quick to post. I was all excited getting up at the crack of dawn thinking, "Finally, I will post first so that I look devoted and clever." Alas it is not to be...

So last night, while not entirely sucking, came very close. What is the list of songs that they can choose from? Once again, I knew two songs. And they were quite possibly the worst two songs of the night. Slave to chronology that I am, I will give you the old faithful Bruniecrow recap.

I used to imagine that John Denver and I lived in a little cabin on the side of a mountain in West Virginia. Yes, I was his Mountain Momma. And when we would visit Colorado we would say "Colorado Rocky Mountain, Hi!" But now I am glad he has become one with the universe or whatever because Tyler's "performance" would break his heart. Okay, I exaggerate. But it was deadly dull. And why does he clap for himself? Did he ride the short bus to school. (Not that there is anything wrong with that. If memory serves, the short bus had comfy seats and the restraints gave me a nice feeling of security.)

And dare I say Mandisa did nothing for me either? I still love her voice - but the song was stupid and for the love of all things holy LOSE THE JEANS! She sounded better to me in the round-up clip at the end, but still - no love here from me. Except from her top. Nice rack, Mandisa!

Elliot was in my personal top three this week. I was ironing (Is it country music night or are those the four horsemen of the apocalypse in my driveway?) and was thrilled to be hearing him without seeing him. The song had that weepy country feel that sometimes works and his voice was really good.

Paris disappointed me with the other song I recognized. Is "How Do I Live" really a country song? If that is the case than country sucks. She sounded fine, but my loathing for this song superceds all talent. And I did truly enjoy Paula getting booed while Simon got the cheers. Ryan seemed quite cheesed off. The drama...

This was the first Ace performance that I actually liked. It didn't make my top three because it is still, after all, Ace. But he sounded pretty good, bad diction aside. The trauma came for me when Frank created what he calls "The Ace Face" which is the most terrifying thing this kid has ever done. He pulls his lips into a huge grimace-smile and then the eyes - oh the eyes! - they are so big and devoid of thought. He only has to do it a little bit and I start screaming. I was going to post a picture of him doing it, but I don't want to emotionally scar anyone.

Fancy is a tale of a girl turned out as a prostitute by her Momma - sung by America's sweetheart, Kellie Pickler. It was too low and too garbled and if you didn't know the song already it made no sense at all and was stupid. So there.

Chris seemed nervous without his light-show this week. He sounded great singing an earnest love song. It reminded me of Jim Croce. He was also in my top three.

Kat made me love her. Not by singing "Bringing Out the Elvis in Me" which is a truly stupid song. But just by sheer force of her personality. She was dancing and acting a little goofy and a little sexy. I just like her. And when she said to Simon, "You just don't like country music. It's okay to say it." I thought that she said it in a very supportive way. Didn't like the song but I almost voted for her just for that.

(I don't, as a rule, vote because that would mean I take this seriously. As opposed to spending an hour writing about it...)

Finally, Bucky. I howled because Kenny Rodgers (who looks like he is going to get his birthday call from Willard Scott any day now) said it was important that he have good diction so that people knew what the song meant. Bucky, of course, don't need none of that confounded diction! He just mumbled and garbled his way through. That said, he sounded good and it struck me as a sweet, sad performance.

I could not pick who is going home for the life of me. If I had my druthers it would be Kelly or Ace, but I don't think America is playing it that way.

Brunhildecrow, OUT!