Coincidence?

My friend Lacks Compassion's husband - the Reverend Doctor Compassion - came up with a far kinder description of Melinda Doolittle than my Easter Island description. He is not an Idol watcher (poor deluded freak) but when catching a glimpse of her he said, "She looks just like D.W.!" Now I know how he earned that doctorate - with his amazing powers of observation...

So please help out - we have Blake as Dennis the Menace, Mindy Doo/D.W. (If you say it right it even rhymes!) what other cartoon characters are in the top 10?

And now on with the show...

Lakisha sang LAST DANCE and sounded great, as usual. And looked like the firing squad was about to offer her a last cigarette, as usual.

Chris S. sang EVERY LITTLE THING SHE DOES IS MAGIC and every little thing he did annoyed me. Although he sounded fine.

My pick for the night was Miss Gina who brought it with STAND BY YOU. She was fantastic! I love her voice when she puts aside all her "rocker" bullshit and just sings.

Which brings me to Sanjaya. Oh my goodness. I don't want to fixate on the faux-hawk but my, my, my it certainly was on top of his head, wasn't it? He sang BATHWATER which I may have vaguely heard in the background at the Roller Palace which is the only place I ever hear Gwen Stefani. I think I would like the song if it weren't sung by a malnourished Foghorn Leghorn impersonator. (I don't know - there might be someone better than Foghorn for him - keep your cards and letters coming.)

Haley sang TRUE COLORS and no one seemed to like it but me. I don't think she's going to win, but she easily sang as well as Chris R. and yet the all gave him a tongue bath and told her she was pitchy. Feh...

When I hear Phil sing I'LL BE WATCHING YOU, I get a little nervous. He has that stalker-look. I am sure he is perfectly nice. Just odd looking. How shallow... He sounded great and he isn't annoying. Just light-bulb-head-y.

Melinda sang HEAVEN KNOWS which is perhaps my favorite disco song. She sounded great but it wasn't a surprise or a show like other performances she has given in the past. I'm pretty sure she's safe...

Are those the four horsemen of the apocalypse pulling into my driveway? Did I hear a Cure song on American Idol? Goodness - who thought this day would come? Blake sang LOVE SONG which is a great song. I was just so freaked out that he really sang it that I couldn't really enjoy it. He sounded fine, but he does a weird thing with his face when he is singing a ballad that makes him look like Robin Williams making fun of singers. Pick up the beat, Blake. Dance little monkey, dance...

Jordan sang something that I don't know the title of - HEY BABY BABY maybe? Again, if I didn't hear it at the Roller Palace, I didn't hear it. She was cute and bouncy and funny and she performed. There was nothing in her performance that allowed me to look away. (Or compelled me to look away as in the case of Chris S. and Sanjaya...) After Gina, she was my fave.

Why did Chris R. close the show? He was fine. He sang DON'T SPEAK adequately. B.F.D... I hate it when Idol does this manipulative garbage. They don't want Chris to be voted off so they put him at the end to keep him fresh in the mind. He just wasn't that great. He was fine. That's it. I don't think he deserves this preferential treatment.

I don't know the Gwen Stefani story that well. I know she was a fat girl in high school which makes me love her. And I like her beats. (Damn, I'm hip...) My kids used to like Hollaback Girl (this ship sells bananas - B-A-N-A-N-A-S!) but that is about as far as my knowledge goes. I hear she is a brilliant business woman and she doesn't irritate me at all the way Madonna does. But she didn't seem all that likable on the show. She was like substitute teacher whereas Lulu was like the chorus teacher who writes you the recommendation letter that gets you into Berklee. It kind of creeped my son out that she is so hot and yet is only a couple of years younger than his auntie (who is only a couple of years younger than me!). The elderly should not be so easy on the eyes.

Good grief, I have said enough. I look forward, as ever, to Sanjaya leaving. But my money is on Phil, Haley or (dare I say it?) Lakeshia.

Brunie, OUT!