I Hear a Symphony!

Ask for Motown, and Lady C gets Motown. Thank you, American Idol! I had a lovely evening.

Not much to say about it all, though. The stars (Melinda, LaKisha, Stephanie, Jordin) shone brightly. The not-ready-for-prime-time players (Sanjaya) continued to underwhelm. Everyone else...well, actually, there were some surprises. (Read on!)

Surprise #1: Brandon. I generally think of him as having the strongest male voice, and maybe, objectively, he does, but I don't think he's ready for the big leagues after all. He's just not an exciting performer, which is too bad. Bye, Brandon.

Surprise #2: Chris Sligh picked..."Endless Love"? Seriously? I about fell over when he said it, so sure was I that he was joking. How could he sing that song without irony? (My BFF Lady Darcy and I, for fun, had a mock wedding our sophomore year, and our vows largely comprised the lyrics to "Endless Love." They work great as wedding vows. Though at one point I know I also said, "Ooh ooh. Crazy little thing called love." It was a killer wedding.) Also, he really, really, really needs to wear his glasses. Not his best night, for sure (though I still liked his voice).

Surprise #3: I crossed every finger and toe that I have, wishing that my girl Gina would choose "Love Child," which I thought a can't-miss combo of song and songstress. And yet—it kind of missed. Very shouty. Not poignant. Disappointing!

Surprise #4: Simon said something nice to Haley! Did you see her sweet astounded face? I know she'll not be staying long, but I was happy for her. (And I thought she did pretty well, actually, before she committed her cardinal sin. Ah, well. Bye, Haley.)

Surprise #5: Phil managed to sound good at the beginning of a song, for once! I thought he was spot on. Best male performance of the night.

Surprise #6: Despite all his skills and smartness, which are boundless, Blake didn't have the first clue what his song was about. Don't bop around the stage when you're singing about anguish, my friend. Too much disconnect.

Surprise #7: Simon FINALLY realizes that Chris R has a terrible voice! I'm not sure what he's been hearing up till now, but still—we're together on this, at last.

I expect Brandon, Haley, or Sanjaya to go home tonight—we'll see.

Lady Chardonnay (today's look: Yuppie Coed) OUT.