I would pay big money to see this. Of course I would love to see McCain and the other guy dance, too.
[KIDDING!!! Everyone knows Biden can't dance...]
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
Thursday, May 22, 2008
I have a confession to make.
First opining, then confessing:
On April 11th I wrote, "It is also certain that a guy named David will win this year." But I must admit that I did think it would be David A. I am very very surprised that the more mature, subtle, sexually real man won. As Lady C. indicated, maybe tweenyboppers do not rule the idol world. How 'bout that?
OK, and now for my confession. I have not voted even once this whole season of American Idol. Not once. And everything turned out exactly like I wanted. I don't know what it means, but I feel better getting that off my chest.
Tonight starts my very favo fave show, So you think you can dance dance dance dance! w00t!
Love & Kisses,
Mrs. Cynicletary
On April 11th I wrote, "It is also certain that a guy named David will win this year." But I must admit that I did think it would be David A. I am very very surprised that the more mature, subtle, sexually real man won. As Lady C. indicated, maybe tweenyboppers do not rule the idol world. How 'bout that?
OK, and now for my confession. I have not voted even once this whole season of American Idol. Not once. And everything turned out exactly like I wanted. I don't know what it means, but I feel better getting that off my chest.
Tonight starts my very favo fave show, So you think you can dance dance dance dance! w00t!
Love & Kisses,
Mrs. Cynicletary
Baby What a Big Surprise
Well, color my world with love! I did NOT see that coming. My faith in the pixielike tween girls with feverishly dialing computer programs was boundless—I've never seen them, but still I believed, I believed! Maybe they aren't real. Maybe, like me, the Cookie lovers stepped up their game and actually voted on Tuesday, something that I for one have scarcely been moved to do all season (see "pixies," above). Who knows?
But for once, someone I've loved from the beginning actually made it through (I have a BAD habit of falling in love with early boots—Amy Adams and Mandisa come to mind)—and, to my and Mrs. Cynicletary's shock, the Idol is a person of "authentic sexuality," arguably a first!
This was my initial impression of David Cook, on January 30:
Lady Chardonnay, happy, proud, and OUT.
But for once, someone I've loved from the beginning actually made it through (I have a BAD habit of falling in love with early boots—Amy Adams and Mandisa come to mind)—and, to my and Mrs. Cynicletary's shock, the Idol is a person of "authentic sexuality," arguably a first!
This was my initial impression of David Cook, on January 30:
I liked Rocker David, with his quiet confidence ("I think my voice will get me through, but I may not be what they're looking for"—what a cutie! Daughtry 08?).. . . and I think we're all admiring my smartness now, yes? Quiet confidence (other people have called this "smugness," but I respectfully disagree) and a determination to always be himself, to mold the show to his style rather than the other way around. That is David Cook, the best musician, I believe, that Idol has ever chosen. Good on you, America.
Lady Chardonnay, happy, proud, and OUT.
Wednesday, May 21, 2008
America's Next Top David
(or, The Idol We Deserve)
Man, that was a weird show! Or, I should say, a weird two shows, at the very least, because I clearly saw two different things going on. And then there was that whole other show that the judges saw, where David A. cured cancer and hung the moon, but that is another story and far beyond my limited powers of analysis, and blogging.
Show 1: David A., whom forevermore I shall call Tickle Me David (thanks to my smarty colleague, Miss WordPerfect), competed for the American Idol Championship. He brought his A game, did exactly what he needed to do, did not veer from his packaged formula one iota, sang the song we all wanted to hear again ("Imagine"), and will likely take home the title tonight, in a blaze of tears, Clearasil, and hormones.
Show 2: David C. performed, competently as ever, for another episode of American Idol. He did not seem to understand that this was THE CHAMPIONSHIP. The fighting analogies . . . puzzled him. He good-naturedly hugged his opponent and gave him head noogies. And he chose, as his final sing-out, a song we've never heard him sing, rather than "Billie Jean," the song we clamored for.
One has to wonder—does David C. actually want the title? He didn't perform badly, after all—but he also didn't sing for his life, as Tickle-Me did. Did Shoeless Joe really throw the game? Will we ever know for sure?
My excellent boss has believed that the whole thing's fixed, ever since Jason Castro flubbed the one line everyone can sing of "Mr. Tambourine Man" and didn't even seem rattled by it. I didn't think so then (little seems to rattle mellow Mr. Castro), but now I truly wonder.
Random thoughts:
I predict a blowout for Tickle Me David, though I did my duty and phoned it in for David C. as long as my redial held out. Hey, he phoned it in for me, it's the least I could do.
Lady Chardonnay, chilling the bottles in preparation for tonight, and OUT.
Man, that was a weird show! Or, I should say, a weird two shows, at the very least, because I clearly saw two different things going on. And then there was that whole other show that the judges saw, where David A. cured cancer and hung the moon, but that is another story and far beyond my limited powers of analysis, and blogging.
Show 1: David A., whom forevermore I shall call Tickle Me David (thanks to my smarty colleague, Miss WordPerfect), competed for the American Idol Championship. He brought his A game, did exactly what he needed to do, did not veer from his packaged formula one iota, sang the song we all wanted to hear again ("Imagine"), and will likely take home the title tonight, in a blaze of tears, Clearasil, and hormones.
Show 2: David C. performed, competently as ever, for another episode of American Idol. He did not seem to understand that this was THE CHAMPIONSHIP. The fighting analogies . . . puzzled him. He good-naturedly hugged his opponent and gave him head noogies. And he chose, as his final sing-out, a song we've never heard him sing, rather than "Billie Jean," the song we clamored for.
One has to wonder—does David C. actually want the title? He didn't perform badly, after all—but he also didn't sing for his life, as Tickle-Me did. Did Shoeless Joe really throw the game? Will we ever know for sure?
My excellent boss has believed that the whole thing's fixed, ever since Jason Castro flubbed the one line everyone can sing of "Mr. Tambourine Man" and didn't even seem rattled by it. I didn't think so then (little seems to rattle mellow Mr. Castro), but now I truly wonder.
Random thoughts:
- After Tickle-Me sang "Don't Let the Sun Go Down On Me," Li'l Martini remarked, "I despise him, but this is a good song." Mimosa: "That's not even a sun behind him, it's a star."
- Every time they show Tickle Me Senior in the audience, I think, "Wow, Danny Bonaduce's here!" Separated at birth, those two.
- Idol should borrow a page from Survivor and do The Walk of the Fallen Idols. I would love to hear Tickle-Me's heartfelt tribute to Amanda Overmeyer. Or David C. having to wax rhapsodic over Kristy Lee Cook.
I predict a blowout for Tickle Me David, though I did my duty and phoned it in for David C. as long as my redial held out. Hey, he phoned it in for me, it's the least I could do.
Lady Chardonnay, chilling the bottles in preparation for tonight, and OUT.
Cookie vs. Archie in the Warmest Fuzziest Hug-fest of the Year!
Wow, they really pumped this as a head to head battle. Simon said, "You must hate your competitor." No, not so much... They practically spooned each other on stage. Such nice boys, really!First Round:
Clive "Walking Cadaver" Davis chose I STILL HAVEN'T FOUND WHAT I'M LOOKING FOR which I though - "Wow, something from this generation!" and then I remembered that I actually heard it played at a funeral in 1989 - nearly 20 years ago. I guess "current" is a relative term. Cookie sounded great and I started to like him.
L'il Davy had to sing DON'T LET THE SUN GO DOWN ON ME which is basically a song that sings itself. It is completely awesome. And he did sound great and looked so gobsmacked when they complimented him that I started to like him too.
Second Round:
The less said about the wretched songs the better. Instead of commenting on the performances, which were both better than they should have been given the quality of the songs or the songs themselves (which sounded like DC's Disney Movie song-that-plays-over-the-credits and a high school talent show winner) I will post the lyrics to next year's wining song. (Fingers crossed!)
"I Believe in the Angel of Inspiration Now" (The Windows of My Love)
When I am feeling desperation,
I look to the sky
I see the angel of inspiration
Flying by...
When I need help
In a timely fashion
She gives a yelp
And tries to crash in...
The windows of my love.
The windows of my love.
Ooooooh
The windows of my love
When I need her aid
so quickly,
All my hopes are flayed
So sickly
She comes to me
She comes right now.
I love her so,
Oh yeah, oh wow...
The windows of my love.
The windows of my love.
Ooooooh
The windows of my love
(Repeat chorus 428 times and yodel like Mariah Carey's dyspeptic cat)
Thanks to TRISH for the title!
ROUND #:
David Cook (yes, I will use their real names this one time...) sang a song that I vaguely know and started to cry a little at the end! IT WAS AWESOME! I loved him. Not the song but the Paula-pleasing emotionality. Simon bitched him out for doing something he hadn't done before which sort of illustrated all that is wrong with this show.
David Archuletta sang IMAGINE (again...) and sounded great (again...) and all the judges had a spontaneous orgasm. It was gross to watch, frankly. If I were slightly more jaded I might think that Simon knows everyone's numbers and therefore knows who will win and wants to look like he knew it all along. Of course, it could just be that in the theater DA sounds significantly better than DC. But really it seems like DC is the more original and exciting singer.
But what do I know?
Brunie, OUT!
Thursday, May 15, 2008
Bye Bye Sye...
So Mrs. C (and just about everyone else who has voiced a prediction about this week's results) was right and Syesha went home. She seemed not at all surprised.The thing that kind of freaked me out was that they told L'il Davy he was saved before Cookie. Does this mean that he had more votes? Is there a possibility that L'il Davy could actually win this thing in spite of the fact that he has a voice and no presence at all and Cookie is actually somewhat charismatic? The mind boggles.
Entertainment Weekly had an article this week about ways that AI could change up to become interesting again and the one that most appealed to me was that they could announce the number of votes that each contestant received. I would love to know how the numbers break down each week. I know that there are sites that tell you this, but it seems to me that I heard that they are not always reliable. Or maybe I am just too lazy to go look and prefer to have "The Producers" tell me. Have you noticed how ominous "The Producers" sounds? Like "The Creators" or "The Creatures" or "The Overlords". At least they didn't make us look at the dessicated corpse of Clive Davis this year. (I almost typed Clive Owen - oh that it should never come to pass!)
Anyway, I am not even going to go into details on the performances Tuesday night because I am sure you all slept through it just like I did. They all sounded good, blah blah blah. The funniest thing all night was when Ryan asked Syesha why she wanted a chair and Mrs. Mama, my AI viewing buddy, quipped, "Because they wouldn't give her a pole." Bwahaha... Our little Syesha sure has been dancing close to the Haley Scarnato ledge. Luckily, she can sing and isn't just incredible good looking. And it is nice to have someone to even out the lack of cute in our front runners.
Seriously, look at L'il Davy and Cookie and they are a somewhat homely pair. Really pre-teen girls - wipe the hormones from your eyes and take a good long stare. That's right, not that cute...
Finally the visits home - this could be my favorite part of the whole season. I LOVE when the contestants go to their hometowns and weep like toddlers. It makes me like them so much because no matter how mildly arrogant (David Cook) or fake (Syesha) or downright irritating (Davy) they are to me at this point in the show, there is so little artifice when they go back to their homes. It humanizes them.
And the upside for me is that I actually care a little bit about what happens next week. It seems like Cook should be the clear choice, but I do remember that male AI winners usually land with a thunk and am kind of hoping for a L'il Davy upset.
Brunie, OUT!
Wednesday, May 14, 2008
Nap time for the kids
Is it me or did everyone seem a little tired last night? God knows these kids have been on a wild roller coaster ride of thrills, trills and kills lately, and with the big trip to their home towns this week, I think they are exhausted, and it showed in their singing.
If I've said it once, I've said it 100 times - David A. has a great voice. He can sing anything - even a Chris Brown song - almost. He messed up the lyric a little and seemed rushed and uncomfortable with that, his most current song. I'll bet his Dad, recently of the "add a quick line from the Beautiful Girls song" during Stand By Me last week, encouraged him to sing it. Methinks Dad scours the pop charts looking for ways to make David a teen sensation.
Since singing Proud Mary, Syesha has found her hotness. Or her stylist has, at least. She looked fantastic last night, and sang about as well as she can. You could tell that she really disliked that last song - Hit Me Up or whatever it was - she did not look like she was having fun, although she did look cute and tiny in those very tight jeans. She's a Broadway-bound baby, and will find much success, even if she goes home tonight. Which she will.
David C. sounded good too, although, again, tired. On The First Time Ever...he sounded just lovely, soft and yet not wimpy. With his songs, the edit to 90 seconds really hurt. Although I detest that Don't Want to Miss a Thing, Aerosmith song, and the fact that it was shortened was OK with me. Damn, of all the great Aerosmith songs, the Producers chose that one? Ick. I especially hate the lyric, "Cause I'd miss you Babe and I don't want to miss a thing." You just can't sing the word"miss" twice within eight words of each other. Was there no alternative - "Cause I love you Babe, and I don't want to miss a thing, "Cause I want you Babe, need you Babe, crave you, Babe- I mean insert almost any one syllable word and don't repeat 'MISS"!!
Overall, I recommend a day off with complete bedrest for the kids - except Syesha because she will get plenty of rest when she leaves the show. Tonight.
Love & kisses,
Mrs. Cynicletary
If I've said it once, I've said it 100 times - David A. has a great voice. He can sing anything - even a Chris Brown song - almost. He messed up the lyric a little and seemed rushed and uncomfortable with that, his most current song. I'll bet his Dad, recently of the "add a quick line from the Beautiful Girls song" during Stand By Me last week, encouraged him to sing it. Methinks Dad scours the pop charts looking for ways to make David a teen sensation.
Since singing Proud Mary, Syesha has found her hotness. Or her stylist has, at least. She looked fantastic last night, and sang about as well as she can. You could tell that she really disliked that last song - Hit Me Up or whatever it was - she did not look like she was having fun, although she did look cute and tiny in those very tight jeans. She's a Broadway-bound baby, and will find much success, even if she goes home tonight. Which she will.
David C. sounded good too, although, again, tired. On The First Time Ever...he sounded just lovely, soft and yet not wimpy. With his songs, the edit to 90 seconds really hurt. Although I detest that Don't Want to Miss a Thing, Aerosmith song, and the fact that it was shortened was OK with me. Damn, of all the great Aerosmith songs, the Producers chose that one? Ick. I especially hate the lyric, "Cause I'd miss you Babe and I don't want to miss a thing." You just can't sing the word"miss" twice within eight words of each other. Was there no alternative - "Cause I love you Babe, and I don't want to miss a thing, "Cause I want you Babe, need you Babe, crave you, Babe- I mean insert almost any one syllable word and don't repeat 'MISS"!!
Overall, I recommend a day off with complete bedrest for the kids - except Syesha because she will get plenty of rest when she leaves the show. Tonight.
Love & kisses,
Mrs. Cynicletary
Tuesday, May 06, 2008
Rock and Roll Hall of Flaming Talent
(Just kidding...)There were some surprises tonight and I am writing as I watch so I am not even aware of all of them yet. There is also some tremendous pimpin' - quelle suprise...
First off was Cookie - he was HUNGRY LIKE THE WOLF. I had just had a big meal and wasn't all that interested. Also, one of the top 500 most influential songs? Really??
Syesha did PROUD MARY proud. She shook it up in a not too slutty way and had a lot of fun. I thought she sounded great and looked great. I loved it.
Oh my... Jason Castro committed a heinous act of cultural decimation by attempting Bob Marley's I SHOT THE SHERIFF. It was bad. Which was too bad because he was excited about singing a song he loved. But it was just lame. He looked cute, but TPTB were very willing to let
him shoot himself in the foot. (But not the deputy.)
L'il Davy did a stellar job with STAND BY ME and finally earned the strokes that Randy seems unable to stop giving him. It was a great song for him and he mixed it up a little with BEAUTIFUL GIRLS for just a few seconds. It was a good job and my favorite LD performance since IMAGINE.
And speaking of surprises - BABA O'RILEY??? On AI??? The Who's most often miss-named song (admit it Lady C, you thought it was called TEENAGE WASTELAND, didn't you?) in a horrible arrangement. The arrangement blew hard, but this boy really can sing. I really loathed that that song was on here, but he really has a fantastic voice. When he jumped up an octave, I sat up in my seat. Very impressive.
(I am just going to take the time to say that Ryan's hair looks bizarre. He looks like Bob's Big Boy)
Syesha looked amazing (Apparently I am channeling Paula, but the girl is beautiful...) She sang A CHANGE IS GOING TO COME and sounded amazing. I love that song and she really did it justice. Now she just broke down - it seemed like when Paula complimented her. I don't know if it was the performance of a lifetime (the tears, I mean) or if she really meant it, but I like to think the latter. Ryan, Paula and Simon gave Randy all kinds of crap about making her cry (he didn't like it) but I think it was the emotions of the song getting to her. Good TV, that's for sure.
Jason did better with MR. TAMBOURINE MAN, but he did botch the lyrics and will be almost certainly going home tomorrow night. He is outclassed as a singer by the other three and he knows it. I doubt there will be tears tomorrow night when we say goodbye to him. And Simon was nice enough to advise him to get an early start on his packing.
And who is that singing LOVE ME TENDER? Why it is sultry L'il Davy! It is a "romantic love song". I have to say that he is hell of a singer and did a nice job with this. And of course 12 year old girls all over the country are dropping $4.95 for next months Teen Beat magazine with him on the cover. He is crazy strange looking when he sings, but it sounds so sweet! I am extremely uncomfortable the Randy said he "was so tender and caressed each word". He really did a great job tonight.
My pix for the night:
Love Me Tender - just as soon as I get through puberty.
A Change is Gonna Come - and has already come.
Proud Mary - and Proud Syesha, too.
Stand By Me - but don't touch me because I am 11.
Baba O'Riley - or slightly older than teenage wasteland.
Hungry Like the Wolf - hungry for victory!
I Shot the Sherrif - and should have just turned my weapon on myself.
Mr. Whatever Guy - in the jingle-doodle - blah-blah I'll do whatever.
Brunie, OUT!
Wednesday, April 30, 2008
Neil Diamond, I Cried...
Wow, that was a train wreck!Randy, can you pimp Little Davy a little harder please?
Paula, WTF?
Simon, actually you kind of saved it.
And the contestants:
Jason, dull as dirt although the BLUE JEANS song was less horrible than the other.
Big Dave, choosing two songs I have never heard is a double-edged sword. On the one hand they sounded good and I didn't hear Neil Diamond (who I kind of liked as a person, but can't stand as a singer) singing along. However, they were still written by Neil Diamond. So blah...
Brooke, sweet jumpin' Jehoshaphat that first song was crap. It was her worst ever. Worse than HERE COMES THE SUN. I have never been a BELIEVER of that song, but it sucked hard. I did like her version of I AM I SAID even thought she should have kept New York and 86-ed the stupid "not even the chair" line that has always made me enraged with its stupidity. I really liked when her voice broke, I like it when she means it.
Little Davy must just stop. He makes me crazy with his lip licking and his gasping and his closed eyes and he animatronic facial expressions. SWEET CAROLINE and COMING TO AMERICA are both crimes against humanity for which Diamond will someday need to answer and now LD is guilty by association. He makes me deeply uneasy. And I hate the way Randy talks him up. He is a good technical singer, I suppose, but he screws up the words and is loathsome.
Which brings us to Syesha. She is the second best one in the competition right now all around. Both her performances kicked total butt last night. If she stays this good TPTB are going to have to give up their beloved David vs. David finale.
And here is where it lies Brunie-wise:
Best in show: David C.
Best performer: Syesha
Most inexplicably attractive: Jason
Most earnest: Brooke
Most irritating: L'il Davy (that's right, I have taken away some of his letters. So there...)
Brunie, OUT!
Thursday, April 24, 2008
America the Befuddled
THAT was shite. I hate hate hate when the voting clearly reflects the size of the fan base rather than the actual performances. I love Brooke and Jason and I'm happy they're still here—but "happy" in the way that I'm happy to have doughnuts for dinner: It goes down a treat (I'm being Carly now, don't I sound wicked Irish? You'll have to take my flaming red hair and Gaelic bosoms on faith), but I know it isn't right.
Oh, well.
Moving on: Unlike my sour sister bloggers, cheese is my favorite food, I love the Up with People numbers, and Neil Diamond = all kinds of happy for me, so yay! If Man David sings "Girl You'll Be a Woman Soon," my Joy of Idol may hit nirvana and top out—and then what will be left of me? Stay tuned . . .
Lady C OUT!
Oh, well.
Moving on: Unlike my sour sister bloggers, cheese is my favorite food, I love the Up with People numbers, and Neil Diamond = all kinds of happy for me, so yay! If Man David sings "Girl You'll Be a Woman Soon," my Joy of Idol may hit nirvana and top out—and then what will be left of me? Stay tuned . . .
Lady C OUT!
Good news, bad news.
The good news is that Carly is gone. Good-bye Carly. I never connected with you, but that paisley mini-dress you wore kicked ass!
The bad news - Neil Diamond next week!!! GAK - are you kidding? ALW and then Neil Diamond? Is this show trying to garner the one step from the grave (literally or musically) audience?!
I'm in for another week of torture. Boo.
Love & kisses,
Mrs. Cynicletary
The bad news - Neil Diamond next week!!! GAK - are you kidding? ALW and then Neil Diamond? Is this show trying to garner the one step from the grave (literally or musically) audience?!
I'm in for another week of torture. Boo.
Love & kisses,
Mrs. Cynicletary
Wednesday, April 23, 2008
There are singers and then there are vocalists.
OK, no big surprise - I LOATHE Andrew Load of Crap Weaver. However, his full-of-big-old-fashioned-melody songs, makes it clear who is a singer and who is a vocalist.
Vocalists:
Brooke - Oh, dear Honey - that was torture - not as bad as say, waterboarding, but yeesh! Buh-bye.
Jason (Donovan , Jr.)- I really like this kid, but he is a vocalist, not a singer. (Could I hate that Memories song more? Answer - no)
Singers:
David A - The boy can sing anything. His styling was MUCH better this week too.
Carly - I still don't like her, but she can sing.
David Cook - Now I would have thought that he would be more of a vocalist, but he proved himself a real singer. He just sang the song, and did a damn respectable job of it too.
So last night was not bad enough, tonight we have to hear ALW do something on stage - gerk! Will he wear a jacket and tie or continue to look like some ghastly local politician trying not to appear too rich?
Love & kisses,
Mrs. Cynicletary
Vocalists:
Brooke - Oh, dear Honey - that was torture - not as bad as say, waterboarding, but yeesh! Buh-bye.
Jason (Donovan , Jr.)- I really like this kid, but he is a vocalist, not a singer. (Could I hate that Memories song more? Answer - no)
Singers:
David A - The boy can sing anything. His styling was MUCH better this week too.
Carly - I still don't like her, but she can sing.
David Cook - Now I would have thought that he would be more of a vocalist, but he proved himself a real singer. He just sang the song, and did a damn respectable job of it too.
So last night was not bad enough, tonight we have to hear ALW do something on stage - gerk! Will he wear a jacket and tie or continue to look like some ghastly local politician trying not to appear too rich?
Love & kisses,
Mrs. Cynicletary
Tuesday, April 22, 2008
To Sir Andrew With Love
So Brunie and I spent the day together, which was lovely and stimulating (hee! that was a secret joke for Brunie) and involved almost no alcohol! And we talked of many things, but not of Idol, not even once . . . which confirms for me that this season is, frankly, a bit dull. TPTB cannot seem to recreate the charisma of Season 5—and even though Taylor is one of my least favorite Idols (my true unfavorite, as we all know, rhymes with "aphasia"), the combo of him and Katharine and Chris and Elliot and Paris and Ace and even freakin' Kellie Pickler was some kind of crazy funky Gestalt, the likes of which we won't see again any time soon, apparently. And it wasn't even that they were the Best. Singers. Ever!! (even though they were good)—the kids this season are perfectly talented as well. But I really want to fast-forward Season 7 to the ending we all know is coming, David v. David, mano a mano, and have that sweet sweaty TV showdown: Tiny Earnest Crooner vs. Gritty Smoldering Rocker. That will be some good watching.
As for tonight—I like Andrew Lloyd Webber's stuff okay, Mr. Lady Chardonnay and I danced to "All I Ask of You" at our wedding, and Brunie and I had a swell time at a local production of "Superstar" (until the fog machines during the crucifixion set off the smoke alarms and we had to vacate the premises—fortunately, she called the theatre to find out how the story ends, so we weren't left hanging, because, that ending? Kind of a downer), but I'd rather chew off a limb than sit through "Cats" or "Joseph." The one ALW show I can wholeheartedly embrace is "Evita," which I've seen dozens of times. And did the Idolettes oblige me by singing any of those awesome songs? No. They did not. Brooke sang the crap song written for the MADONNA movie, for pity's sake, instead of "Another Suitcase in Another Hall," which would've let her emote like crazy, if that's what she wanted to do. Of course, it's sung by, basically, a teen hooker, and maybe that would be too much for our no-R-rated-movie girl. Oh, Brooke.
My 30-second take: Syesha looked and sounded fantastic; Jason looked sickly and sounded, as Brunie said, like a stone-passer; Brooke looked emotional and sounded very bad on the low notes; Arch looked dorky and sounded sweetly earnest; Carly looked like she was having a blast and sang a different chorus from the back-up singers, which I found odd; Man David looked sexy and hot and sounded sexy and hot and communicated his total devotion to me with his eyes. THAT is a skill, my friends.
I'll miss Brooke, but she seems to have lost her confidence. Actually, I've been missing Brooke for weeks, "Let It Be" was a long time ago. Can it be that it was all so simple then? Or has time rewritten every line? Maybe Andrew Lloyd Webber will write a ballad about it all—"The Muzak of the Night." Fingers crossed!
Lady Chardonnay OUT!
As for tonight—I like Andrew Lloyd Webber's stuff okay, Mr. Lady Chardonnay and I danced to "All I Ask of You" at our wedding, and Brunie and I had a swell time at a local production of "Superstar" (until the fog machines during the crucifixion set off the smoke alarms and we had to vacate the premises—fortunately, she called the theatre to find out how the story ends, so we weren't left hanging, because, that ending? Kind of a downer), but I'd rather chew off a limb than sit through "Cats" or "Joseph." The one ALW show I can wholeheartedly embrace is "Evita," which I've seen dozens of times. And did the Idolettes oblige me by singing any of those awesome songs? No. They did not. Brooke sang the crap song written for the MADONNA movie, for pity's sake, instead of "Another Suitcase in Another Hall," which would've let her emote like crazy, if that's what she wanted to do. Of course, it's sung by, basically, a teen hooker, and maybe that would be too much for our no-R-rated-movie girl. Oh, Brooke.
My 30-second take: Syesha looked and sounded fantastic; Jason looked sickly and sounded, as Brunie said, like a stone-passer; Brooke looked emotional and sounded very bad on the low notes; Arch looked dorky and sounded sweetly earnest; Carly looked like she was having a blast and sang a different chorus from the back-up singers, which I found odd; Man David looked sexy and hot and sounded sexy and hot and communicated his total devotion to me with his eyes. THAT is a skill, my friends.
I'll miss Brooke, but she seems to have lost her confidence. Actually, I've been missing Brooke for weeks, "Let It Be" was a long time ago. Can it be that it was all so simple then? Or has time rewritten every line? Maybe Andrew Lloyd Webber will write a ballad about it all—"The Muzak of the Night." Fingers crossed!
Lady Chardonnay OUT!
The Night I Die A Thousand Deaths...
Wow, there are few things that instill fear in my heart like "The Music of Andrew Lloyd Weber". I am trying to think of anything this man has written that I like. I suppose the "Always thought that I'd be an apostle..." song from Superstar. That is about it. Maybe "Can You Feel the Love Tonight?" as sung by a high school choir. Other than that, blech...And I imagine my pain is infinitesimal compared to Mrs. C's!
Lady C, however (With whom I was lucky enough to spend nearly the whole day!) is in heaven, I imagine. Could be wrong I suppose.
So back to the carnage:
Syesha slammed it out of the park with ONE ROCK AND ROLL TOO MANY. She was cute and funny and lively. They loved her and so did I. I agree that it was one of her best.
Jason inexplicably sang MEMORIES and made me sad because I hate to see him go. He was pained and a little terrified looking like his parents just found his stash and he is trying to pass a kidney stone. He is certainly bottom three...
Brooke sang YOU MUST LOVE ME and had to start over because she lost the words. Even Paula couldn't think of anything to say. It was harsh. She was scared and thinks she is going home. I can't disagree.
Little Davy sang THINK OF ME which, which as everyone knows, is a girl song! His testicles dropped right off and bounced across the stage and Rickey Minor accidentally squished one with his pointy toed boots.
Carley was shockingly my second favorite of the night with JESUS CHRIST SUPERSTAR. She was having some fun and sounded great.
Big Dave sang THE MUSIC OF THE NIGHT and you just know that he was reliving the time he almost got to play Will Parker in the Blue Springs High School presentation of Oklahoma! And then he nearly got to play Hugo in Bye Bye Birdie and then they did Pirates of Penzance and he was so excited because it was his senior year and he knew he was perfect for Frederic, but he also loved the part of the Pirate king and even the Major-General has that great song! But then he got mono and had to miss the auditions and he was so mad. He didn't even do stage crew and everyone said how unfair it was and what a rip-off it was. Well tonight he showed them all! He emoted and sounded fine. Wilbur picked up his book about three beats into the song. And I opened my lap top. It was that gripping.
Tonight I vote for no one, and tomorrow if Syesha goes home I will be ticked off because she really did do well. But I think it will be Brooke or Jason.
Brunie, OUT!
Wednesday, April 16, 2008
Surprised Already...
I really thought it would be Brooke! When they had Syesha sit back down I thought "Surely they are tricking me into thinking that Kristy Lee is going home..."I am not surprised or displeased. But she has gotten better lately and Brooke was pretty weak last night.
I knew Little Davy wouldn't pick the group that was going/staying he just sat his deliberate little fanny on the stage. Cheeky monkey! I have no feelings for him. I think he is a cylon. And how funny that big Dave felt no compunction about sashaying over and sitting right next to him safe in the knowledge that he is not going home.
In other news - check out my little man. He was in my happy meal and for the first time in years, my happy meal toy made me happy. Even though it was probably fashioned by Chinese political prisoners, it is too awesome. See how he reclines atop his cushioney bun while the drink boy screams in anguish behind him? Dinner is fun again! He also played a little tune, but Mr. Crow threw him down the stairs and struck him mute. Thanks, Mr. Crow!
Brunie, OUT!
Carey-ed away
My, my but all the A-list celebrities have embraced Idol - even Mariah! She is a vocal genius, but there's just something about her that is so irritating. The kids were super-psyched to meet her though, and she is a BIG BIG star. So, let's recap, shall we?
David A: I do not know the song he sang, but it's undeniable that the kid has superb vocal control, and the ability to really connect with the audience. He continues to impress, although he looked somehow terrified last night, and the leather pants, well, the less I say about leather pants the better. I will say that like Mariah, David is a natural born singer.
Carly: I listened to Carly without looking at her last night, and , well, it didn't help. She still does absolutely nothing for me.
Syesha: Her low notes were beautiful, but most of her singing is, like I have said before, nice, not standout, not memorable, just nice.
Brooke - Ouch - she was super pitchy last night which is too bad because it was the first time that she put some power behind her vocals, which sounded pretty good. She is just not a fancy vocal run kinda gal.
Kristy Lee - Well, I must admit that she has really improved, but that is because we have such low expectations that when she isn't horrid, she seems good.
David C. - Love that song and love his interpretation. And that last note - ROCKIN'!!!! I want to hear that song again! I remember when Simon told him months ago that he would just disappear on stage without his guitar. Although Simon is almost always right, in this case, not.
Jason - Another good arrangement, and I really like him. I think I dreamed about Jason, the details of which are...NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS!!!
I can only hope that one of the girls goes tonight. Any girl, doesn't matter.
Love & kisses,
Mrs. Cynicletary
David A: I do not know the song he sang, but it's undeniable that the kid has superb vocal control, and the ability to really connect with the audience. He continues to impress, although he looked somehow terrified last night, and the leather pants, well, the less I say about leather pants the better. I will say that like Mariah, David is a natural born singer.
Carly: I listened to Carly without looking at her last night, and , well, it didn't help. She still does absolutely nothing for me.
Syesha: Her low notes were beautiful, but most of her singing is, like I have said before, nice, not standout, not memorable, just nice.
Brooke - Ouch - she was super pitchy last night which is too bad because it was the first time that she put some power behind her vocals, which sounded pretty good. She is just not a fancy vocal run kinda gal.
Kristy Lee - Well, I must admit that she has really improved, but that is because we have such low expectations that when she isn't horrid, she seems good.
David C. - Love that song and love his interpretation. And that last note - ROCKIN'!!!! I want to hear that song again! I remember when Simon told him months ago that he would just disappear on stage without his guitar. Although Simon is almost always right, in this case, not.
Jason - Another good arrangement, and I really like him. I think I dreamed about Jason, the details of which are...NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS!!!
I can only hope that one of the girls goes tonight. Any girl, doesn't matter.
Love & kisses,
Mrs. Cynicletary
Friday, April 11, 2008
The expected unexpected
It seems that each year there is an Idol departure which shocks everyone, like Chris Daughtry's premature boot last year. So here is this year's shocker - Michael Johns dreaming on elsewhere. I thought Michael would be third in this competition. It is certainly a travesty that Kristy, Carly and Sayisha, in that order, are still in it. It is also certain that a guy named David will win this year.
Good luck, Michael. 8th is not as good a finishing place as fourth (that's the money spot it seems) but chin up. Millions of people know you, and just remember, you are as good a singer and a much better looking guy than Elliot Yamin and look at that giant monster hit he had last year that they played on VH1 constantly! It'll be all right.
In better news, did you see the opening number on charity night, with the excellent dancers - those are the kids from my FAVEE FAVE show, So, you think you can dance! Did you see the three guys doing endless perfectly controlled pirouettes? Man, you can fake singing, but you can't fake real dancing!
Love & kisses,
Mrs. Cynicletary
Good luck, Michael. 8th is not as good a finishing place as fourth (that's the money spot it seems) but chin up. Millions of people know you, and just remember, you are as good a singer and a much better looking guy than Elliot Yamin and look at that giant monster hit he had last year that they played on VH1 constantly! It'll be all right.
In better news, did you see the opening number on charity night, with the excellent dancers - those are the kids from my FAVEE FAVE show, So, you think you can dance! Did you see the three guys doing endless perfectly controlled pirouettes? Man, you can fake singing, but you can't fake real dancing!
Love & kisses,
Mrs. Cynicletary
Thursday, April 10, 2008
Bye Mikey...
So pretty, and yet so gone. If he had sounded as good on Tuesday as he did on his sing out (and perhaps showed his tushie as much) he would not be going to Brooke White's sister's wedding this weekend! (And my favorite part of the episode was when Brooke said she wouldn't be able to attend the wedding and then chided herself for being presumptuous. Too cute!)I barely watched this show. After my coma of boredom on Tuesday that I could barely recover from enough to go to work, much less to write about the snooze-fest that was Idol, I am lucky I took in as much as I did.
I liked seeing Jordan Sparks again.
I was surprised that it was Michael going home but he took it like a trouper and even though he was really growing on me, there was no one I would rather see leave. Other than Kristy Lee. Or David A. Or Carley. So yeah, not my favorite going away ever.
Brunie, OUT!
Wednesday, April 09, 2008
Can I see the list?
I wish to know, please, if the kids chose from a list of "inspirational songs" or whether they could choose any song at all. Their choices seemed so weak overall, it's like they had 30 seconds to decide on a song. I have been thinking, what are some great inspirational songs? I'll Stand by You by The Pretenders, Purple Rain, Stevie Wonder's, 10 Zillion Light Years Away, maybe What if God was One of Us? As proof yet again of how very old I am, I thought, if someone did a kick-ass acappella version of You'll Never Walk Alone - that could bring down the house. Maybe only if Tiny Blues Brother did it. I thought David A. would shine since he seems to choose "inspirational" songs every week. Unfortunately, I found that overall, last night's performances were...uninspired.
Michael Johns started out the night with Dream On - OK, Michael, you had good energy and sang well, but again you have chosen a song that suffers when it is cut down to 90 seconds.
OH NO she is not going to sing that Fantasia song - Sayisha - you have to stop singing songs made (semi) famous by women with gigantic voices. YOU DO NOT HAVE A GIGANTIC VOICE. Moreover you do not have a unique or memorable voice. I do not hear you and think, oh it's Sayisha. I think, oh it's some girl with a nice voice who wants to sound like Whitney Houston.
Donovan Jr. was sweet and charming as usual. He does seem to be putting more effort into his performances lately. He totally needs to sing Sunshine Superman or Mellow Yellow. Unlike certain Whitney-wannabees, Jason does have a unique and recognizable sound.
Winner of Best Dressed again - Kristy Lee. She still looks good and she still sounds boring. I have to give her credit though, I think it was the first time that she sang an entire song and all the notes belonged in that song.
I must break the cynical truth to David Cook that some people are evil. Tomas de Torquemada, http://sprott.physics.wisc.edu/pickover/good.html, Dick Cheney, they are NOT INNOCENT, David. I thought his performance was a little off - he couldn't really dig into that song. The GIVE BACK on his hand was almost not sickly sweet.
Carly just does not look good or sound good. I really hated that song and her singing of it. After the first verse I was bored and went to run a bath.
David A. has a beautiful voice. Just beautiful. What else can I say?
Brooke was just OK again this week. She is such a sweet little hippie girl, but she does not have the chops to win this competition.
I will be happy to see Kristy or Carly go buh-bye on Thursday night, as tonight will be Big Charity Pimpin' Night. Although, I hear that the line-up will be impressive and that some actual good was done with the money donated last year. But if all the kids hold hands and start to sing, "I believe the children are our future..." then I am CHANGING THE CHANNEL.
Love & Kisses,
Mrs. Cynicletary
Michael Johns started out the night with Dream On - OK, Michael, you had good energy and sang well, but again you have chosen a song that suffers when it is cut down to 90 seconds.
OH NO she is not going to sing that Fantasia song - Sayisha - you have to stop singing songs made (semi) famous by women with gigantic voices. YOU DO NOT HAVE A GIGANTIC VOICE. Moreover you do not have a unique or memorable voice. I do not hear you and think, oh it's Sayisha. I think, oh it's some girl with a nice voice who wants to sound like Whitney Houston.
Donovan Jr. was sweet and charming as usual. He does seem to be putting more effort into his performances lately. He totally needs to sing Sunshine Superman or Mellow Yellow. Unlike certain Whitney-wannabees, Jason does have a unique and recognizable sound.
Winner of Best Dressed again - Kristy Lee. She still looks good and she still sounds boring. I have to give her credit though, I think it was the first time that she sang an entire song and all the notes belonged in that song.
I must break the cynical truth to David Cook that some people are evil. Tomas de Torquemada, http://sprott.physics.wisc.edu/pickover/good.html, Dick Cheney, they are NOT INNOCENT, David. I thought his performance was a little off - he couldn't really dig into that song. The GIVE BACK on his hand was almost not sickly sweet.
Carly just does not look good or sound good. I really hated that song and her singing of it. After the first verse I was bored and went to run a bath.
David A. has a beautiful voice. Just beautiful. What else can I say?
Brooke was just OK again this week. She is such a sweet little hippie girl, but she does not have the chops to win this competition.
I will be happy to see Kristy or Carly go buh-bye on Thursday night, as tonight will be Big Charity Pimpin' Night. Although, I hear that the line-up will be impressive and that some actual good was done with the money donated last year. But if all the kids hold hands and start to sing, "I believe the children are our future..." then I am CHANGING THE CHANNEL.
Love & Kisses,
Mrs. Cynicletary
Tuesday, April 08, 2008
I believe the children are our future
NO, she didn't! Aw, Brooke. The minute she said Carole King, I'm all, "NOT 'You've Got a Friend,' no no no no." But does Brooke listen to me? No, she does not, she's like one of my cats, for God's sake. And there's nothing wrong with "You've Got a Friend," heaven knows I near wore out my own "Tapestry" album, it's a lovely little song, but it is NOT the show-stopping number one should pull out for this, the most coveted Idol pimp spot, the final singer of the night!
I still love her, but I begin to believe that our Snow White is a bit simple after all.
Good night on the whole, I thought. Michael, Syesha, Kristy Lee—polished professionals, all. David Cook sounded great on a song I hated. David "Yawn" Archuleta was as pleasantly bland as ever. Only Carly was a disappointment—I thought she was beginning to pull it all together and actually develop a bit of a stage presence, but Simon called it; she came off angry tonight, rather than inspirational. She's our likely Homeward Bound girl, if we're going simply on performance.
For me, the evening star was Jason Castro, who reminds me more and more of John Travolta every week. Loved his rendition of "Over the Rainbow" (was that really a ukulele?!), every second of it. He is so goofy and dear. He needed to step up his game this week, and he totally did. Good job, Danny Zuko. You're the one that I want. (this week, anyway)
Now, learn from him, Brooke White! Carly's surprising suckitude may have saved you for another week, but you have got to step up. Otherwise Kristy Lee Bosoms is moving into the designated blonde spot, and you'll have only yourself to blame.
I know I sound angry, but I'm trying to be inspirational. Whoa, Carly, am I feeling you now.
Lady Chardonnay OUT.
I still love her, but I begin to believe that our Snow White is a bit simple after all.
Good night on the whole, I thought. Michael, Syesha, Kristy Lee—polished professionals, all. David Cook sounded great on a song I hated. David "Yawn" Archuleta was as pleasantly bland as ever. Only Carly was a disappointment—I thought she was beginning to pull it all together and actually develop a bit of a stage presence, but Simon called it; she came off angry tonight, rather than inspirational. She's our likely Homeward Bound girl, if we're going simply on performance.
For me, the evening star was Jason Castro, who reminds me more and more of John Travolta every week. Loved his rendition of "Over the Rainbow" (was that really a ukulele?!), every second of it. He is so goofy and dear. He needed to step up his game this week, and he totally did. Good job, Danny Zuko. You're the one that I want. (this week, anyway)
Now, learn from him, Brooke White! Carly's surprising suckitude may have saved you for another week, but you have got to step up. Otherwise Kristy Lee Bosoms is moving into the designated blonde spot, and you'll have only yourself to blame.
I know I sound angry, but I'm trying to be inspirational. Whoa, Carly, am I feeling you now.
Lady Chardonnay OUT.
Hello, Larry
So tonight I accidentally caught two minutes of Larry King — (excuse me, I had to go rinse and spit) — and who should be on but our three judges + Ryan, quelle surprise! It was fun to see them in a different setting. Simon and Randy looked much the same, Paula looked outstandingly fresh and pretty, and Ryan was—well, frankly, bumpy. I don't know if it's warts or moles or benign facial cysts, but Ryan has several noticeable bumps around and about his face, which don't show up on the expensively lit Idol stage but in Larry's cheap-ass studio you couldn't miss 'em. And given the notorious vanity of la Seacrest, if I were a certain facialist I'd be quaking in my boots tonight. But anyway.
Some learnings: All have signed on for at least two more seasons; Simon, much to his dismay, "quite likes" the song Randy just produced for Paula; and they all predict a David v. David finale. And before they've even performed, Simon thinks that Syesha or Kristy Lee will go home this week. Well, that's just math, isn't it. (Actually, he didn't say "Kristy Lee," he said, "that one whose name I can never remember." Oh, dear.)
I meant to write about Ramiele last week (the title of that post would've been "Get Shorty") but simply ran out of time. It's too bad; she was one of my favorites going in, but she seemed to peak early and never did get the hang of the big ol' stage. Good luck to you, tiny one, and we'll see you on the tour.
And now a word to Our Miss Brooke, who's had three less-than-stellar weeks and needs to step up tonight. Brooke, doll, what were you thinking with that cheerful rendition of "Jolene"? You know better than that! Quit twinkling at the audience, and focus on your song! She's still my favorite girl, but I've been burned before.
Tonight I'm hoping that Kristy Lee will drape an American flag about her shapely form, and that freakin' David Archuleta will hawk a loogy at it.
Lady Chardonnay OUT.
Some learnings: All have signed on for at least two more seasons; Simon, much to his dismay, "quite likes" the song Randy just produced for Paula; and they all predict a David v. David finale. And before they've even performed, Simon thinks that Syesha or Kristy Lee will go home this week. Well, that's just math, isn't it. (Actually, he didn't say "Kristy Lee," he said, "that one whose name I can never remember." Oh, dear.)
I meant to write about Ramiele last week (the title of that post would've been "Get Shorty") but simply ran out of time. It's too bad; she was one of my favorites going in, but she seemed to peak early and never did get the hang of the big ol' stage. Good luck to you, tiny one, and we'll see you on the tour.
And now a word to Our Miss Brooke, who's had three less-than-stellar weeks and needs to step up tonight. Brooke, doll, what were you thinking with that cheerful rendition of "Jolene"? You know better than that! Quit twinkling at the audience, and focus on your song! She's still my favorite girl, but I've been burned before.
Tonight I'm hoping that Kristy Lee will drape an American flag about her shapely form, and that freakin' David Archuleta will hawk a loogy at it.
Lady Chardonnay OUT.
Saturday, April 05, 2008
I know how you feel, Dolly...
Kristie Lee is still here????
Actually, she wasn't that bad, but Vote For the Worst has anointed her and that, combined with the fact that some people actually like pretty girls with great figures who can kind of sing, means that we will be seeing a few people I actually like leave.
Since Chikeze left I have been not caring too much. But I have to say that Dave Cook has really grown on me and I have a soft spot for Jason Castro. I like all the girls just fine, (with one exception) but no one is inspiring me to vote. And I did vote this week! See if you can guess who I voted for.
Anyway, I barely remember it (please pretend that you don't notice that I am posting on Saturday...) but let us go back through the mists of remembrance to a more innocent time, an old-fashioned time full of wholesome American values. A time I like to call last Tuesday...
Oh Ryan, you trickster! You nearly had me convinced that American Idol was cancelled tonight! Boy, that was a good one!
Brooke opens up with JOLENE! My favorite Dolly song! Have you heard the Rhonda Vincent version? Awesome! And Brooke makes it... dull. That will be a theme tonight, boring Barb.
David Cook and his pretty new hair-do sang LITTLE SPARROW which sounded great. And it was his own arrangement which makes me very happy. I like how he sounds and he has always been really honest about how these cool arrangements he has been doing are researched on itunes (how product placement-y convenient!) but it is nice to learn that he can put it together himself, too.
Ramilele sang DO I EVER CROSS YOUR MIND which I imagine I would like if Dolly sang it. Not so much the tiny pointy-haired one. She is cute and looking into my crystal ball (or if you prefer, TiVo) I imagine she will be leaving. If anyone would like to put some money on that, let me know!
Jason sang TRAVELING THROUGH and it was the perfect song for him. He looked and sounded like every cute boy I ever way playing their beat up acoustic guitar in front of their VW micro bus in the parking lot of a Grateful Dead show, God bless him. I like his sound, I like his look, I like his rambling last week when he was in the bottom three so I voted for him a bunch of times. I did! I felt like a naughty minx!
Carly sang HERE YOU COME AGAIN and she sounded great. I like her better and maybe she is just getting more comfortable. I still think there are a few people who need to go before. Sadly one of them is up next.
David Archuletta is "The Wheezer" according to Lacks Compassion. Nice... Now all I can hear when he sings is the huge gasps between his phrases. She also said something insanely funny about him but I can't remember it because we were eating dinner in public with 6 ten year old boys. Beh.... Anyway, he sang SMOKEY MOUNTAIN MAKES BARB FALL ASLEEP SONG. It worked. And he will be at least top 3 I guarantee it.
The less said about Kristy Lee Bosoms (as Wilbur calls her) the better. She looked fantastic. She made me wish I didn't have a snack so that I could go get one while she sang.
Syesha, who is probably my favorite girl, sang I WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU. LC, who was watching at my house (and dang if it isn't like old times with all the LC/Brunie time lately!), said it is her favorite movie song and is all Whitney-fied in her brain. As for me, I try not to think about Whitney and I really liked Syesha's version.
And finally Micheal Johns sounded fantastic singing IT'S ALL WRONG BUT IT'S ALL RIGHT or maybe the other way. He looked like he was passing a kidney stone while he sang but still managed to kind of be pretty. And I am relieved that he can sound so good. I found it ironic that I enjoyed watching David Cook perform tonight and had to close my eyes for MJ!
So I am just joshing about seeing the future. Ramiele went home and I didn't care. I hope it is not a dreadful theme next week. The Idols meet Henry Rollins is Mr. Crow's selection for next week. Damn, that would be awesome!
Brunie, OUT!
Thursday, March 27, 2008
Ch-ch-ch-check, please
Bye, Chikeze, no more messing with your name.
How much are those stupid result night song and dance numbers like South Park's Getting Gay with Kids?!?!
Love & Kisses,
Mrs. Cynicletary
How much are those stupid result night song and dance numbers like South Park's Getting Gay with Kids?!?!
Love & Kisses,
Mrs. Cynicletary
Wednesday, March 26, 2008
Everyone has a birthday
The concept of last night's show - songs from your year of birth - was a good one. What is so crazy is how recent the kid's birth dates are - YIKES! I am very old. If I had to sing a song from my year of birth I would go with "Baby, It's You" by The Shirelles. That's how old I am!
Ramiele-Please-Get-Me-a-Professional-Stylist sang "Alone" by Heart. A good song, and better than anything else she has sung. If I were her, I would request a soprano back-up singer who does not blow me out of the water with her awesome voice - who is that - wow!
Birthday Boy Donovan Jr. is a good but not great singer with a chill personality. And how does he get his naturally straight hair to lock like that? Must be lots of wax. It was funny when he said he could have practiced more. I was waiting for him to say, but Dude, surf was up!
Sayisha was ok. As usual, Simon was right about how the song showed the limits of her voice. When she hit the biggest notes I thought, I am not getting chills here. She can't really get the super nasty going on those. No thrills from Sayisha but she is a competent singer.
Ch-ch-ch-cheated on your birth date (9/11) went next. Dude, sing more songs in your lower register - it is very nice and we hear very few baritone/bass notes in this competition.
Play it by ear Brooke sounded OK on a song I detest. She's a nice girl with a nice voice. That's about it.
Michael Johns managed to sing "We are the Champions" and it sounded great and he did not look like an idiot singing it. NICE, Michael.
I could not hate that Total Eclipse of the Heart song more. OK, maybe more now that Carly has sung it. She was really screechy on the big notes. She can go anytime now.
Tiny Blues Brother sang a song I don't know. He has a great voice, but he was not the best last night.
Could Kristy Lee PLEASE go home tonight? That song was like some ghastly Junior Miss Pageant performance. Is it unpatriotic not to vote for her? Then call me a traitor!
David Cox has had that same pseudo-badass expression since infancy! Maybe it will bother me less now that I know it is not put-on. That version of Billie Jean was SLAMMIN'!!! The best performance of the night with Michael Johns a close second. I feel safe in predicting that a white guy will win this year. I also feel safe in predicting that Paula, utter moron that she is, will end up living alone with 48 cats and she will tell them that they are magical, they are stars and that she loves all the colors and textures of their fur.
Love & kisses,
Mrs. Cynicletary
Ramiele-Please-Get-Me-a-Professional-Stylist sang "Alone" by Heart. A good song, and better than anything else she has sung. If I were her, I would request a soprano back-up singer who does not blow me out of the water with her awesome voice - who is that - wow!
Birthday Boy Donovan Jr. is a good but not great singer with a chill personality. And how does he get his naturally straight hair to lock like that? Must be lots of wax. It was funny when he said he could have practiced more. I was waiting for him to say, but Dude, surf was up!
Sayisha was ok. As usual, Simon was right about how the song showed the limits of her voice. When she hit the biggest notes I thought, I am not getting chills here. She can't really get the super nasty going on those. No thrills from Sayisha but she is a competent singer.
Ch-ch-ch-cheated on your birth date (9/11) went next. Dude, sing more songs in your lower register - it is very nice and we hear very few baritone/bass notes in this competition.
Play it by ear Brooke sounded OK on a song I detest. She's a nice girl with a nice voice. That's about it.
Michael Johns managed to sing "We are the Champions" and it sounded great and he did not look like an idiot singing it. NICE, Michael.
I could not hate that Total Eclipse of the Heart song more. OK, maybe more now that Carly has sung it. She was really screechy on the big notes. She can go anytime now.
Tiny Blues Brother sang a song I don't know. He has a great voice, but he was not the best last night.
Could Kristy Lee PLEASE go home tonight? That song was like some ghastly Junior Miss Pageant performance. Is it unpatriotic not to vote for her? Then call me a traitor!
David Cox has had that same pseudo-badass expression since infancy! Maybe it will bother me less now that I know it is not put-on. That version of Billie Jean was SLAMMIN'!!! The best performance of the night with Michael Johns a close second. I feel safe in predicting that a white guy will win this year. I also feel safe in predicting that Paula, utter moron that she is, will end up living alone with 48 cats and she will tell them that they are magical, they are stars and that she loves all the colors and textures of their fur.
Love & kisses,
Mrs. Cynicletary
Happy birth-year, babies!
("Dang me, I am old" could also be this week's title.)
Now THAT was an excellent show, in my never-humble opinion. Even the weaker performances (Ramiele, Jason, David "Slipping Halo" Archuleta) didn't cause me any real pain, and the strong singers were spot on. Loved it loved it loved it.
Okay, perhaps I should confess that I didn't actually hear David Archuleta, I had to take a phone call, but I saw the 30-second recap at the end and I heard the judges lambaste him, poor baby—but it's about time; he's always been a decent but limited performer, and I've never gotten the hoopla surrounding the child. Whatev. He's not going anywhere, this I know.
What I admire more than anything is smartness—in this case, meaning singers who know who they are and what they can do and play to those strengths. So a shout-out to pretty, pretty Michael Johns, who's been blandly forgettable up till now but pulled out the stops last night to blast me back to high school graduation, tooling around in a VW bus (it was Northern California, they're everywhere) with my pallies, singing "We Are the Champions" at full volume. We'd had three sips of Cold Duck apiece, we owned the night. Good times. It was exactly what Michael needed to do this week, and though generally the Idolettes should avoid Freddie Mercury, this one worked. Yay, Michael!
Another shout-out to Syesha, who has a good voice but hasn't been showcasing it well. Though I didn't know or love the song, she sang the hell out of it. Great job.
Props to my girl Brooke, who is second only to David Cook in her ability to reinterpret a song and make it her own. Sting's version of "Every Breath You Take" is a creepy stalker song; Brooke made it more tortured—like, I don't want to be glued to you in this way, but this is how it is and I can't stop myself. Not her best performance (because her best performances have been HELLA GOOD) but very good nonetheless, and to me: wicked impressive. Brooke is a smart smarty.
But who was the most brilliant last night, the smartest smarty of all? Honestly, I think it's a tie, and no one is more surprised than I am by that fact.
David "I Want to Marry Lady Chardonnay" Cook brought down the house with his soulful, haunting "Billie Jean." He is the master of breaking down a song to its essential parts, thinking it through, and rebuilding it again so it is 100% his. His voice is gorgeous, and he owns the stage. A truly brilliant performer and musician—the best I have ever seen on Idol. And I'm not just saying that because we're in love.
So given all that, who's he tied with, Lady Chardonnay-Cook? Folks, I hand that honor to Miss Kristy Lee Cook, who has been one of the most underwhelming performers so far, our perennial bottom-three girl, whose ouster this week, before last night, was about as sure a sure thing as one can get on this show—Kristy Lee Cook, who chose the most perfect song for herself, who did exactly what she needed to do last night to showcase her Aryan loveliness and Mom-and-apple-piehood, who displayed a canny awareness of who she is and what she can do . . . I can't say enough about her smartness here. Best performance of the night? No way. Something we'll be writing about forever? Again—no. But best evidence of knowing oneself and choosing the dead-on right song? Absolutely, no question whatsoever. And I really, really admire that. She may still go home, but she can hold her head high.
Great show. I had to take a little blog break to rediscover my Joy of Idol (trying to get the feeling again, don'tcha know), but guess what? (I'm being Randy now) Lady Chardonnay is in the house!
. . . and OUT.
Now THAT was an excellent show, in my never-humble opinion. Even the weaker performances (Ramiele, Jason, David "Slipping Halo" Archuleta) didn't cause me any real pain, and the strong singers were spot on. Loved it loved it loved it.
Okay, perhaps I should confess that I didn't actually hear David Archuleta, I had to take a phone call, but I saw the 30-second recap at the end and I heard the judges lambaste him, poor baby—but it's about time; he's always been a decent but limited performer, and I've never gotten the hoopla surrounding the child. Whatev. He's not going anywhere, this I know.
What I admire more than anything is smartness—in this case, meaning singers who know who they are and what they can do and play to those strengths. So a shout-out to pretty, pretty Michael Johns, who's been blandly forgettable up till now but pulled out the stops last night to blast me back to high school graduation, tooling around in a VW bus (it was Northern California, they're everywhere) with my pallies, singing "We Are the Champions" at full volume. We'd had three sips of Cold Duck apiece, we owned the night. Good times. It was exactly what Michael needed to do this week, and though generally the Idolettes should avoid Freddie Mercury, this one worked. Yay, Michael!
Another shout-out to Syesha, who has a good voice but hasn't been showcasing it well. Though I didn't know or love the song, she sang the hell out of it. Great job.
Props to my girl Brooke, who is second only to David Cook in her ability to reinterpret a song and make it her own. Sting's version of "Every Breath You Take" is a creepy stalker song; Brooke made it more tortured—like, I don't want to be glued to you in this way, but this is how it is and I can't stop myself. Not her best performance (because her best performances have been HELLA GOOD) but very good nonetheless, and to me: wicked impressive. Brooke is a smart smarty.
But who was the most brilliant last night, the smartest smarty of all? Honestly, I think it's a tie, and no one is more surprised than I am by that fact.
David "I Want to Marry Lady Chardonnay" Cook brought down the house with his soulful, haunting "Billie Jean." He is the master of breaking down a song to its essential parts, thinking it through, and rebuilding it again so it is 100% his. His voice is gorgeous, and he owns the stage. A truly brilliant performer and musician—the best I have ever seen on Idol. And I'm not just saying that because we're in love.
So given all that, who's he tied with, Lady Chardonnay-Cook? Folks, I hand that honor to Miss Kristy Lee Cook, who has been one of the most underwhelming performers so far, our perennial bottom-three girl, whose ouster this week, before last night, was about as sure a sure thing as one can get on this show—Kristy Lee Cook, who chose the most perfect song for herself, who did exactly what she needed to do last night to showcase her Aryan loveliness and Mom-and-apple-piehood, who displayed a canny awareness of who she is and what she can do . . . I can't say enough about her smartness here. Best performance of the night? No way. Something we'll be writing about forever? Again—no. But best evidence of knowing oneself and choosing the dead-on right song? Absolutely, no question whatsoever. And I really, really admire that. She may still go home, but she can hold her head high.
Great show. I had to take a little blog break to rediscover my Joy of Idol (trying to get the feeling again, don'tcha know), but guess what? (I'm being Randy now) Lady Chardonnay is in the house!
. . . and OUT.
God Help the USA
I took last week off because as you all know, it blew. Thank you Mrs. C for picking up the gauntlet!
This week the kids are singing songs from the year they were born. The intros were more interesting than usual. What sticks in my mind is that Ramiele was a biter, Michael has a drive to win that is more powerful than a locomotive and Carly's mom is hot. And sadly, about my age.
So let's begin with Ramiele. She sounded a little pitchy on ALONE. Still a million times better than I would, and she is sick. But she is in the death seat, the first spot where people forget that she sang at all. Randy is a bitch, Paula doesn't tell her she looks pretty, which is a good sign. And Simon was actually supportive and nice.
Jason Castro sings FRAGILE and my lord, he is not the brightest bulb on the tree. He has cute eyes (like Wilbur!) and nice parents. The song (which I love) sounded fine but there wasn't a time when I started to squee like I sometimes do when Jason and his pretty eyes sing. My favorite part was when Simon said he needed to pick up his game if he wanted to win. He had a look on his face that said, "Dude, I am baked out of my mind and even I know that if I am still here after the top three my career is dead!"
I don't know several song this week. most of these kids were born in the years where I was listening to Bob Marley and the Grateful Dead and little else. I was a rebel, a loner... Anyway, Syesha is singing IF I WAS YOUR WOMAN which I am going to assume is a Whitney song because every time I hear a crappy song that makes the singer's voice sound great it is usually Whitney. Anyway - Syesha sounds beautiful and is charming and I like her a lot. Hate the song though.
Chikeze, who I love, was as cute as a bug in 1985. As much as I do think he is adorable - Beckeye described him perfectly in her blog as "tic tac teeth and low hanging gums" which I found hysterical. And I am okay with that because he has disappointed me this week with IF ONLY FOR ONE NIGHT which I have never heard before and don't care to hear again. Oh Chikeze, don't go all Luther Vandross on me. I am I not going to throw my underpants on stage or whatever you are going for here. In fairness, his voice sounds great. I am just bored to tears.
Speaking of dull as the day is long, Brooke sang EVERY BREATH YOU TAKE. She started out in the wrong key and had to start over, which the judges liked! Good grief, how about just starting in the right key?? There is nothing wrong with taking a familiar song and slowing it wayyyyyyyyyyy down for effect (just wait, of just wait!!!) but this is not different enought to be interesting. She sure is nice, though. I wish she were my nanny. I bet she is very kind to the children and does crafts with them and doesn't just park them in front of Barney videos like I did when I nannied!
What is that on the horizon? What is that beautiful sound? Oh be still me heart - Micheal Johns is singing and I actually am enjoying it! He covers Queen's WE WILL ROCK YOU/WE ARE THE CHAMPIONS and he sounds brilliant! (And I love his mom's cute Aussie accent and his "I'm too good for you" face from his childhood. Well done Micheal!
TOTAL ECLIPSE OF THE HEART! There's nothing I can do, I'm always in the dark. We're sitting on a powder keg and giving of sparks, indeed. Carly sings this with her usual skill and lack of personality. What is it about this girl??? She is completely likable in her intros and judge-chats. But when she sings she falls into this personality vortex that just sucks the interesting right out of her. Forgive me for becoming Paula here, but she looked great tonight. She reminded me a bit of Lady C with her glammy eye make-up. Lady C is the bomb, eye make-up wise.
L'il Davy underwhelmed me with YOU'RE THE VOICE. Simon nailed it with his "theme park singing with animated creatures" comment. He's not going anywhere.
Kristy Lee Cook is a genius. She sang GOD BLESS THE USA. If she goes home tomorrow the terrorists win. I can't tell you the deep pit of loathing I have for this song. I love the USA, I am glad I live here. But this song makes me want to slap a baby. (Not a real baby, I just mean that it makes me that angry.) First of all "at LEAST I know I'm free" we are not the only free country. There are several. Canada leaps to mind, socialized medicine notwithstanding. Secondly, the line " the flag still stands for freedom, and they can’t take that away" always struck me as a little paranoid until my viewing buddy Mr. Mama said, "Well, the government is trying..." which cracked me up because I consider him something of a right wing fella for liberal New England. But I digress. Kristy Lee sounded really good. She did! This sort of country-ish song is perfect for her. She was strong and pretty and I really thing she may have sent Ramiele or Chikeze home with this.
Remember when I used to hate David Cook? It was really smart of them to preface his performance with pictures of him looking like Baby Skeletor because it made the real Dave look not-too-bad by comparison. I have to say that tonight's performance made me pack up all my furniture and move it to Camp David because he rocked the living hell out of BILLIE frickin' JEAN! It was awesome. I believe, Lady C! I believe, Southern Fried Lawyer and Mr. Lawyer! I believe, legions of fans who have less strict standards for coiffures! I found him attractive and I completely attribute that to the excellence of his performance.
So I think that it will be a vindicated Kristy Lee (and frankly, I could even hear that song again which I never thought I would say), Raimele, Chikeze or Carley. I am hoping Chikeze stays another week - other than that, I am unconcerned.
Brunie, OUT!
This week the kids are singing songs from the year they were born. The intros were more interesting than usual. What sticks in my mind is that Ramiele was a biter, Michael has a drive to win that is more powerful than a locomotive and Carly's mom is hot. And sadly, about my age.
So let's begin with Ramiele. She sounded a little pitchy on ALONE. Still a million times better than I would, and she is sick. But she is in the death seat, the first spot where people forget that she sang at all. Randy is a bitch, Paula doesn't tell her she looks pretty, which is a good sign. And Simon was actually supportive and nice.
Jason Castro sings FRAGILE and my lord, he is not the brightest bulb on the tree. He has cute eyes (like Wilbur!) and nice parents. The song (which I love) sounded fine but there wasn't a time when I started to squee like I sometimes do when Jason and his pretty eyes sing. My favorite part was when Simon said he needed to pick up his game if he wanted to win. He had a look on his face that said, "Dude, I am baked out of my mind and even I know that if I am still here after the top three my career is dead!"
I don't know several song this week. most of these kids were born in the years where I was listening to Bob Marley and the Grateful Dead and little else. I was a rebel, a loner... Anyway, Syesha is singing IF I WAS YOUR WOMAN which I am going to assume is a Whitney song because every time I hear a crappy song that makes the singer's voice sound great it is usually Whitney. Anyway - Syesha sounds beautiful and is charming and I like her a lot. Hate the song though.
Chikeze, who I love, was as cute as a bug in 1985. As much as I do think he is adorable - Beckeye described him perfectly in her blog as "tic tac teeth and low hanging gums" which I found hysterical. And I am okay with that because he has disappointed me this week with IF ONLY FOR ONE NIGHT which I have never heard before and don't care to hear again. Oh Chikeze, don't go all Luther Vandross on me. I am I not going to throw my underpants on stage or whatever you are going for here. In fairness, his voice sounds great. I am just bored to tears.
Speaking of dull as the day is long, Brooke sang EVERY BREATH YOU TAKE. She started out in the wrong key and had to start over, which the judges liked! Good grief, how about just starting in the right key?? There is nothing wrong with taking a familiar song and slowing it wayyyyyyyyyyy down for effect (just wait, of just wait!!!) but this is not different enought to be interesting. She sure is nice, though. I wish she were my nanny. I bet she is very kind to the children and does crafts with them and doesn't just park them in front of Barney videos like I did when I nannied!
What is that on the horizon? What is that beautiful sound? Oh be still me heart - Micheal Johns is singing and I actually am enjoying it! He covers Queen's WE WILL ROCK YOU/WE ARE THE CHAMPIONS and he sounds brilliant! (And I love his mom's cute Aussie accent and his "I'm too good for you" face from his childhood. Well done Micheal!
TOTAL ECLIPSE OF THE HEART! There's nothing I can do, I'm always in the dark. We're sitting on a powder keg and giving of sparks, indeed. Carly sings this with her usual skill and lack of personality. What is it about this girl??? She is completely likable in her intros and judge-chats. But when she sings she falls into this personality vortex that just sucks the interesting right out of her. Forgive me for becoming Paula here, but she looked great tonight. She reminded me a bit of Lady C with her glammy eye make-up. Lady C is the bomb, eye make-up wise.
L'il Davy underwhelmed me with YOU'RE THE VOICE. Simon nailed it with his "theme park singing with animated creatures" comment. He's not going anywhere.
Kristy Lee Cook is a genius. She sang GOD BLESS THE USA. If she goes home tomorrow the terrorists win. I can't tell you the deep pit of loathing I have for this song. I love the USA, I am glad I live here. But this song makes me want to slap a baby. (Not a real baby, I just mean that it makes me that angry.) First of all "at LEAST I know I'm free" we are not the only free country. There are several. Canada leaps to mind, socialized medicine notwithstanding. Secondly, the line " the flag still stands for freedom, and they can’t take that away" always struck me as a little paranoid until my viewing buddy Mr. Mama said, "Well, the government is trying..." which cracked me up because I consider him something of a right wing fella for liberal New England. But I digress. Kristy Lee sounded really good. She did! This sort of country-ish song is perfect for her. She was strong and pretty and I really thing she may have sent Ramiele or Chikeze home with this.
Remember when I used to hate David Cook? It was really smart of them to preface his performance with pictures of him looking like Baby Skeletor because it made the real Dave look not-too-bad by comparison. I have to say that tonight's performance made me pack up all my furniture and move it to Camp David because he rocked the living hell out of BILLIE frickin' JEAN! It was awesome. I believe, Lady C! I believe, Southern Fried Lawyer and Mr. Lawyer! I believe, legions of fans who have less strict standards for coiffures! I found him attractive and I completely attribute that to the excellence of his performance.
So I think that it will be a vindicated Kristy Lee (and frankly, I could even hear that song again which I never thought I would say), Raimele, Chikeze or Carley. I am hoping Chikeze stays another week - other than that, I am unconcerned.
Brunie, OUT!
Friday, March 21, 2008
You could tell that Amanda HATED the stupid group song and dance crap.
Goodbye to Amanda
Consider yourself lucky
you won't be stuck doing
dance steps so sucky
Result night show torture
you will avoid it
Damn choreography
like ghastly school play shit
So be real happy
that you got the boot
If you had to keep "dancing"
through your brain
you would shoot
Love & Kisses,
Mrs. Cynicletary
Consider yourself lucky
you won't be stuck doing
dance steps so sucky
Result night show torture
you will avoid it
Damn choreography
like ghastly school play shit
So be real happy
that you got the boot
If you had to keep "dancing"
through your brain
you would shoot
Love & Kisses,
Mrs. Cynicletary
Wednesday, March 19, 2008
On ruining Beatle's songs
I do not know why the Powers That Idol decided to do Beatles songs directly following a week of Lennon & McCartney songs. Did they get a two for one deal? Did Michael Jackson beg them to pay for the rights to some of the Beatle's songs that he stole from Paul? Michael needs the money. Even after losing $48 million to that gold-digger, Paul still does not need Idol money. (How nice would it be to have $48 million be only SIX PERCENT of your net worth-damn!) Anyway, here we go again with these kids who are haplessly ignorant of some of the greatest songs ever written.
Amanda has good energy on USSR. It was a good song choice for her. I miss her strip-ey pants, though.
Kristy Lee needs to go home next. She had absolutely no clue as to the melody of her song. You know you're in trouble when Paula tells you how beautiful you look. Buh-bye.
David Tiny Blues Brother - There you go, David. His voice is so calm, sweet and earnest. Mr. C thinks he is the Melinda Doolittle of this season - so humble and loveable. I still don't see how he loses.
Michael Johns - Simon was right - this song is too long and complex to break down to 90 seconds. Even with the rearrangement he screwed up the lyrics. The entire judges exchange with Paula justifying his mediocrity vis a vis the ear plug (that he did not use) was really awkward and weird.
Brooke was sweet and post-hippyish as usual, but she does better with an instrument in front of her.
David Cook - It was going so well until he threw in that totally random voicebox bit. It ruined the groove! You would have been better off without it, Dude.
Carly - eh. She does NOTHING for me.
Jason Castro - Let me be the first to declare him the new Donovan! Old folks like me will understand.
Sayeesha - How do you not already know the song Yesterday? I can never understand how people who consider themselves singers can be so ignorant of so many of the world's best classic songs. However, it was her best performance and her best cleavage display.
Ch-ch-ch-chia - You started so well and then it became Hee Haw. TERRIBLE!
Miss Can't Dress to Save her Life - Honey is that the best you can do with song choice/outfit choice?? It boggles the mind.
Overall the show was sub-par with too much time for random blabbing.
Next week - Led Zeppelin!!!!!!
Love & Kisses,
Mrs. Cynicletary
Amanda has good energy on USSR. It was a good song choice for her. I miss her strip-ey pants, though.
Kristy Lee needs to go home next. She had absolutely no clue as to the melody of her song. You know you're in trouble when Paula tells you how beautiful you look. Buh-bye.
David Tiny Blues Brother - There you go, David. His voice is so calm, sweet and earnest. Mr. C thinks he is the Melinda Doolittle of this season - so humble and loveable. I still don't see how he loses.
Michael Johns - Simon was right - this song is too long and complex to break down to 90 seconds. Even with the rearrangement he screwed up the lyrics. The entire judges exchange with Paula justifying his mediocrity vis a vis the ear plug (that he did not use) was really awkward and weird.
Brooke was sweet and post-hippyish as usual, but she does better with an instrument in front of her.
David Cook - It was going so well until he threw in that totally random voicebox bit. It ruined the groove! You would have been better off without it, Dude.
Carly - eh. She does NOTHING for me.
Jason Castro - Let me be the first to declare him the new Donovan! Old folks like me will understand.
Sayeesha - How do you not already know the song Yesterday? I can never understand how people who consider themselves singers can be so ignorant of so many of the world's best classic songs. However, it was her best performance and her best cleavage display.
Ch-ch-ch-chia - You started so well and then it became Hee Haw. TERRIBLE!
Miss Can't Dress to Save her Life - Honey is that the best you can do with song choice/outfit choice?? It boggles the mind.
Overall the show was sub-par with too much time for random blabbing.
Next week - Led Zeppelin!!!!!!
Love & Kisses,
Mrs. Cynicletary
Tuesday, March 11, 2008
Amazing Top 12 Performances Make Brunie Change Her Mind!
The new stage is big, the Beatles are good songwriters and away we go…
Syesha is the starter with GOT TO GET YOU INTO MY LIFE and she sounds fine, but Lennon and McCartney are not the kindest pick for a sultry R&B singer. She has a big glory note at the end, but I don’t know if that is going to make it memorable enough.
And I was wondering how they were planning on filling two hours with 12 singers. Apparently the answer is more commercials…
Chikeze blew my mind with SHE’S A WOMAN even though I knew that that was exactly what he was trying to do. I loved it.
Ramiele sang IN MY LIFE. Wilbur said, “She sounds like a girl, and a boy sings this song. Simon is going to hate it…” He also made fun of the people waving their arms. So far the girls are making me drowsy with their sweet, sleepy voices.
Jason covers IF I FELL and he sounds cute and a little dippy. He switches to the harmony parts at points and I kind of like that. He is not as good a singer as most, but he makes up for it with charm. And he makes a little “oh poopy!” face at the end of every song because he can’t the big note that they like at the end. Did you know he has dreads? I had no idea.
Carly sang COME TOGETHER. I liked her in her little film, and her song sounded good. Of the girls, she is the one that is growing on me the most. And certainly the best female performance so far. I also like how she responds to the judges.
Simon is so dang cute when he winks.
Wilbur’s advice to David Cook: shave your head and learn from Chikeze. Heh… My advice, sadly unheeded tonight, Don’t turn into Constintine. At least he is from Tulsa. I love Tulsa. I just wish he was different looking. Not necessarily cuter, just not all of the attributes I find personally distasteful – chin tufts, greasy hair, squinty soul eyes, poofy lips. He seems a likeable sort, I suppose. But like the maiden on her wedding night, I still need to keep my eyes closed. How did he do? He sounded great and everyone loved him.
Brooke played piano and sang LET IT BE. She sounded beautiful and didn’t do anything new but she has a real way with a simple song. When she let loose a little at the end it was really effective. Really nice job, my new favorite girl. Dang ugly dress though. And barefoot, hee!
David Hernandez sings I SAW HER STANDING THERE and did a nice little Elvis bit at the start. The song was a little old fashioned for Idol, I thought. He has a nice voice but in this song the bass line moves really quickly and the vocals always sound like they are trying to hold back the energy - even when the Beatles did it… Not a good choice.
Amanda has a softer haircut and looks cute and younger than she has before. She sang the hell out of YOU CAN’T DO THAT and I finally realized why people like her. She was fantastic on a song that I really don’t even like!
Michael is from Austraila? Do tell! He sings ACROSS THE UNIVERSE and looks like he is trying to pass a kidney stone. I am over the tiny little hold his undeniable good looks have had on me in the past. I hope the other women of America are with me. His voice is fine, but he has slipped comfortably into my least favorite boy seat. Welcome, Mike, I hope your stay is short.
Oh my gosh! Simon didn’t even know Carly’s name! I kind of love that. It means that he is less interested in this contest than I am. Bwahahaha! It is totally just his job. He could be sprinkling jimmies at Dairy Queen for all it means to him.
Kristy Lee sings – or yodels – EIGHT DAYS A WEEK. I think she might have tried this “turn it to country” shtick with something less famous and it might have worked. But this is country-fair painful. And her bouncy standing in one place and occasionally turn her leg to the other side movements didn’t help. At least it was brief. Please go home Kristy Lee. And AFTER I typed this Simon said, “Some ghastly country fair—” So I said Country Fair first. Copycat, Simon…
Little Davy is in the pimp spot again. (The pimp spot is what Television Without Pity calls the last performance, the one people remember.) Luckily, he is really a phenomenal performer. Except when he forgets the words. Oh my! Is this going to be a train-wreck? He keeps licking his lips like Barty Crouch’s son. His vocals sound great when they were on, but – Yikes!- you don’t forget the words! Luckily I think his army of prepubescent minions will vote him through to next week.
Chikeze, Carly, Brooke, David C, and Amanda should all be safe by virtue of being awesome.
Syesha, Raimele, Jason and Micheal didn’t make me want to barf or anything and hopefully will be back to impress me in the future.
Little Davy is going to be in the top 5 – not a chance in the world of him going home before that unless he comes up on stage and says, “I hate you America. Really, I mean it!” and then blows his nose on the flag.
So it looks like it is down to Kristy Lee or David H. going home, if the world is fair. What are you saying? Melinda Doolittle didn’t win last season? Okay, your guess is as good as mine.
Brunie, OUT!
Syesha is the starter with GOT TO GET YOU INTO MY LIFE and she sounds fine, but Lennon and McCartney are not the kindest pick for a sultry R&B singer. She has a big glory note at the end, but I don’t know if that is going to make it memorable enough.
And I was wondering how they were planning on filling two hours with 12 singers. Apparently the answer is more commercials…
Chikeze blew my mind with SHE’S A WOMAN even though I knew that that was exactly what he was trying to do. I loved it.
Ramiele sang IN MY LIFE. Wilbur said, “She sounds like a girl, and a boy sings this song. Simon is going to hate it…” He also made fun of the people waving their arms. So far the girls are making me drowsy with their sweet, sleepy voices.
Jason covers IF I FELL and he sounds cute and a little dippy. He switches to the harmony parts at points and I kind of like that. He is not as good a singer as most, but he makes up for it with charm. And he makes a little “oh poopy!” face at the end of every song because he can’t the big note that they like at the end. Did you know he has dreads? I had no idea.
Carly sang COME TOGETHER. I liked her in her little film, and her song sounded good. Of the girls, she is the one that is growing on me the most. And certainly the best female performance so far. I also like how she responds to the judges.
Simon is so dang cute when he winks.
Wilbur’s advice to David Cook: shave your head and learn from Chikeze. Heh… My advice, sadly unheeded tonight, Don’t turn into Constintine. At least he is from Tulsa. I love Tulsa. I just wish he was different looking. Not necessarily cuter, just not all of the attributes I find personally distasteful – chin tufts, greasy hair, squinty soul eyes, poofy lips. He seems a likeable sort, I suppose. But like the maiden on her wedding night, I still need to keep my eyes closed. How did he do? He sounded great and everyone loved him.
Brooke played piano and sang LET IT BE. She sounded beautiful and didn’t do anything new but she has a real way with a simple song. When she let loose a little at the end it was really effective. Really nice job, my new favorite girl. Dang ugly dress though. And barefoot, hee!
David Hernandez sings I SAW HER STANDING THERE and did a nice little Elvis bit at the start. The song was a little old fashioned for Idol, I thought. He has a nice voice but in this song the bass line moves really quickly and the vocals always sound like they are trying to hold back the energy - even when the Beatles did it… Not a good choice.
Amanda has a softer haircut and looks cute and younger than she has before. She sang the hell out of YOU CAN’T DO THAT and I finally realized why people like her. She was fantastic on a song that I really don’t even like!
Michael is from Austraila? Do tell! He sings ACROSS THE UNIVERSE and looks like he is trying to pass a kidney stone. I am over the tiny little hold his undeniable good looks have had on me in the past. I hope the other women of America are with me. His voice is fine, but he has slipped comfortably into my least favorite boy seat. Welcome, Mike, I hope your stay is short.
Oh my gosh! Simon didn’t even know Carly’s name! I kind of love that. It means that he is less interested in this contest than I am. Bwahahaha! It is totally just his job. He could be sprinkling jimmies at Dairy Queen for all it means to him.
Kristy Lee sings – or yodels – EIGHT DAYS A WEEK. I think she might have tried this “turn it to country” shtick with something less famous and it might have worked. But this is country-fair painful. And her bouncy standing in one place and occasionally turn her leg to the other side movements didn’t help. At least it was brief. Please go home Kristy Lee. And AFTER I typed this Simon said, “Some ghastly country fair—” So I said Country Fair first. Copycat, Simon…
Little Davy is in the pimp spot again. (The pimp spot is what Television Without Pity calls the last performance, the one people remember.) Luckily, he is really a phenomenal performer. Except when he forgets the words. Oh my! Is this going to be a train-wreck? He keeps licking his lips like Barty Crouch’s son. His vocals sound great when they were on, but – Yikes!- you don’t forget the words! Luckily I think his army of prepubescent minions will vote him through to next week.
Chikeze, Carly, Brooke, David C, and Amanda should all be safe by virtue of being awesome.
Syesha, Raimele, Jason and Micheal didn’t make me want to barf or anything and hopefully will be back to impress me in the future.
Little Davy is going to be in the top 5 – not a chance in the world of him going home before that unless he comes up on stage and says, “I hate you America. Really, I mean it!” and then blows his nose on the flag.
So it looks like it is down to Kristy Lee or David H. going home, if the world is fair. What are you saying? Melinda Doolittle didn’t win last season? Okay, your guess is as good as mine.
Brunie, OUT!
Friday, March 07, 2008
Brief Girls and Surprise!
I was hoping that someone would pick up the gauntlet of writing about the girls since I found them ever so dull. Alas it falls to me, for now to say:
What is the deal with Sayisha singing about adultery two weeks in a row? Is she trying to tell us something? Is this a cry for help?
Brooke sat still and sounded pretty calm for singing about a battle field.
Kady sang some terrible Queen song and then sang it even worse after they sent her home last night. (Notice the shocking lack of narrative flow as I combine singing night recapse with results night spoilers!)
Asia'h was also sent home even though she was peppy and charming. Travesty.
Kristy Lee's boobs sang something that saved her and was kind of twangy and I don't care enough to remember what it was.
Lily Munster, Jr. sounded fantastic singing I HATE MYSELF FOR LOVING YOU and it was memorable enough that I didn't have to wrack my brain for the title. I think she is done with the show though. Something was going on. She seemed happy when singing and no other time. She seems like someone who doesn't think of herself as a capital-S-Singer and it might be that she misses her Harley and her patients.
Carley sounded great belting some big song and showing her tonsils. She seemed to have more personality during the give-and-take after, but I still find her technically great and totally dull.
Okay, that is 7 and I can't remember who the other girl is. Grrr... Oh yes Ramekin Mulberry! She sang AGAINST ALL ODDS which I like against all odds because it is that sort of 80s over-produced movie soundtrack song that I usually have no patience for. But I like little Rainbowbright Muldoon! She is tiny. With a big voice. And the hair that David Cook longs to have.
But since we know how it turns out - who cares?
As for the boys, I knew Luke was going. I loved his sing-out. He turned to his wife and started singing to her and then he thought "Oh, this song makes you sound like kind of a slut!" and turned back to the judges. (I am kidding, I just imagined that and it amused me...)
Then they brought Chikeze and Danny out and I thought "Curse you VFTW! You are making them send my tiny-toothed boyfriend home!" But it was not to be. Danny went home with tears in his eyes and a swivel in his hips.
Until next week-
Brunie, OUT!
Buddy TV is offering this What Would Simon Say About You personality quiz. I haven't taken it yet, but it looks fun.
What is the deal with Sayisha singing about adultery two weeks in a row? Is she trying to tell us something? Is this a cry for help?
Brooke sat still and sounded pretty calm for singing about a battle field.
Kady sang some terrible Queen song and then sang it even worse after they sent her home last night. (Notice the shocking lack of narrative flow as I combine singing night recapse with results night spoilers!)
Asia'h was also sent home even though she was peppy and charming. Travesty.
Kristy Lee's boobs sang something that saved her and was kind of twangy and I don't care enough to remember what it was.
Lily Munster, Jr. sounded fantastic singing I HATE MYSELF FOR LOVING YOU and it was memorable enough that I didn't have to wrack my brain for the title. I think she is done with the show though. Something was going on. She seemed happy when singing and no other time. She seems like someone who doesn't think of herself as a capital-S-Singer and it might be that she misses her Harley and her patients.
Carley sounded great belting some big song and showing her tonsils. She seemed to have more personality during the give-and-take after, but I still find her technically great and totally dull.
Okay, that is 7 and I can't remember who the other girl is. Grrr... Oh yes Ramekin Mulberry! She sang AGAINST ALL ODDS which I like against all odds because it is that sort of 80s over-produced movie soundtrack song that I usually have no patience for. But I like little Rainbowbright Muldoon! She is tiny. With a big voice. And the hair that David Cook longs to have.
But since we know how it turns out - who cares?
As for the boys, I knew Luke was going. I loved his sing-out. He turned to his wife and started singing to her and then he thought "Oh, this song makes you sound like kind of a slut!" and turned back to the judges. (I am kidding, I just imagined that and it amused me...)
Then they brought Chikeze and Danny out and I thought "Curse you VFTW! You are making them send my tiny-toothed boyfriend home!" But it was not to be. Danny went home with tears in his eyes and a swivel in his hips.
Until next week-
Brunie, OUT!
Buddy TV is offering this What Would Simon Say About You personality quiz. I haven't taken it yet, but it looks fun.
Wednesday, March 05, 2008
Eight are (nearly) Great!
Dang me! (I have stolen this from Lady C. and I have been saying it for a week and a half...) I had a great time watching last night. And it wasn't just because Mrs. Mama made warm chocolate chip cookies! I think what I like with the guys is that they really are very different from one another.
Luke sang WAKE ME UP BEFORE YOU GO-GO and he seemed confident and the song sounded great for his voice. Randy said it was "corny"! Dude, it is eighties night - ride the wave of corn... It was my favorite of his performances. I think he may still be going home, but he may have a fan base that we don't know about. And Simon was harsh. That may keep him in if people call to spite him.
Little Davy Archuletta sang ANOTHER DAY IN PARADISE and he sounded like a tiny Mormon angel. I just want to put him in my pocket so that he can climb up on my shoulder and sing to me to calm me down all day. The judges didn't love him completely and yet they did. And he seems more articulate than before.
Danny Noriega who was once so embarassed that he "turned as read as a cute little tomato". How can I not love him. I love his expressive face and his tiny gay Elvis moves and his smooth-scratchy voice. And yet I tire of him. How can it be? He sang TAINTED LOVE which was a cute choice. I still hope he stays - thanks VFTW! Also, I like Randy's comments about being vocally shy. Paula was sweet and Simon was a meanie. And then they all made moose antlers and Simon looked like he would rather be doing anything else.
Is it wrong that I find David Hernandez infinitely more interesting now? He sounded fantastic singing IT'S ALL COMING BACK TO ME NOW. I love his voice and he seems like a likable sort, and yet he is one of the forgettable ones to me. I love the way he takes criticism. He looks like he is really considering what they are saying.
Micheal Johns once got beat up when he was dressed like a kangaroo. So now I don't mind that people seem to worship him like a 70s-haired Australian god. It was a great song choice for him, DON'T YOU FORGET ABOUT ME, but ultimately a boring song. Randy, I think mistakenly, attributed the song to Micheal Hutchence - but whatever. I just like to point out the flaws of others. Simon proves himself a weenie by saying "I really like you!" meaning that, for him, singing doesn't matter as much as marketability.
David Cook wore a hat during his most embarrassing moment film-let covering the sins of his egregious hair. He sang HELLO and sounded strong and good. Lady C and my long-time internet pal the Southern-Fried Lawyer and her husband adore him and so I started listening without looking at him and he really can sing. So okay - I don't loath him any more. Congratulations. Funniest line of the night, "I was in Whole Foods. I was buying carrots, he was buying cereal. True story!" Bwahahahaha!
Jason Castro sang HALLELUJAH and it was all kinds of beautiful. He really sang it like he meant it. I don't know if it is just because the song is so amazing or if it was his singing. His grampa is as cute as a bug, too.
I bought Chikeze's version of I BELIEVE TO MY SOUL and it is awesome. However he sang ALL THE WOMAN I NEED. Which sounded amazing. Simon shot him down because it was once sang by Whitney. But Randy said that Luther Vandross sang it, too. Simon gets up on his gender-pony and acted the ass about "Did Whitney sing it?" I hope he doesn't go home because he is still my favorite.
I really don't want anyone to leave. Realistically I think Luke and David Hernandez or Chikeze. I would love to see Micheal Johns go and if it weren't for vote for the worst Danny would be going.
And the last three to sing made me very happy tonight. And yes, that means David Cook, Lady C!
Brunie, OUT!
Luke sang WAKE ME UP BEFORE YOU GO-GO and he seemed confident and the song sounded great for his voice. Randy said it was "corny"! Dude, it is eighties night - ride the wave of corn... It was my favorite of his performances. I think he may still be going home, but he may have a fan base that we don't know about. And Simon was harsh. That may keep him in if people call to spite him.
Little Davy Archuletta sang ANOTHER DAY IN PARADISE and he sounded like a tiny Mormon angel. I just want to put him in my pocket so that he can climb up on my shoulder and sing to me to calm me down all day. The judges didn't love him completely and yet they did. And he seems more articulate than before.
Danny Noriega who was once so embarassed that he "turned as read as a cute little tomato". How can I not love him. I love his expressive face and his tiny gay Elvis moves and his smooth-scratchy voice. And yet I tire of him. How can it be? He sang TAINTED LOVE which was a cute choice. I still hope he stays - thanks VFTW! Also, I like Randy's comments about being vocally shy. Paula was sweet and Simon was a meanie. And then they all made moose antlers and Simon looked like he would rather be doing anything else.
Is it wrong that I find David Hernandez infinitely more interesting now? He sounded fantastic singing IT'S ALL COMING BACK TO ME NOW. I love his voice and he seems like a likable sort, and yet he is one of the forgettable ones to me. I love the way he takes criticism. He looks like he is really considering what they are saying.
Micheal Johns once got beat up when he was dressed like a kangaroo. So now I don't mind that people seem to worship him like a 70s-haired Australian god. It was a great song choice for him, DON'T YOU FORGET ABOUT ME, but ultimately a boring song. Randy, I think mistakenly, attributed the song to Micheal Hutchence - but whatever. I just like to point out the flaws of others. Simon proves himself a weenie by saying "I really like you!" meaning that, for him, singing doesn't matter as much as marketability.
David Cook wore a hat during his most embarrassing moment film-let covering the sins of his egregious hair. He sang HELLO and sounded strong and good. Lady C and my long-time internet pal the Southern-Fried Lawyer and her husband adore him and so I started listening without looking at him and he really can sing. So okay - I don't loath him any more. Congratulations. Funniest line of the night, "I was in Whole Foods. I was buying carrots, he was buying cereal. True story!" Bwahahahaha!
Jason Castro sang HALLELUJAH and it was all kinds of beautiful. He really sang it like he meant it. I don't know if it is just because the song is so amazing or if it was his singing. His grampa is as cute as a bug, too.
I bought Chikeze's version of I BELIEVE TO MY SOUL and it is awesome. However he sang ALL THE WOMAN I NEED. Which sounded amazing. Simon shot him down because it was once sang by Whitney. But Randy said that Luther Vandross sang it, too. Simon gets up on his gender-pony and acted the ass about "Did Whitney sing it?" I hope he doesn't go home because he is still my favorite.
I really don't want anyone to leave. Realistically I think Luke and David Hernandez or Chikeze. I would love to see Micheal Johns go and if it weren't for vote for the worst Danny would be going.
And the last three to sing made me very happy tonight. And yes, that means David Cook, Lady C!
Brunie, OUT!
Thursday, February 28, 2008
Gone Baby Gone
My predictions:
(re: Brooke: Mrs C, I totally agree that the facial expression needs to be in sync with the song's message, but I'm not sure I agree that "You're So Vain" is a song of heartbreak and sadness. I've always heard it as a song of empowerment and perspective, and Brooke's sly, confident smile was very appropriate to that interpretation. I need to reflect on the lyrics some more.)
Lady C, trying to decide between choir practice or Thursday night TV and more Chardonnay, and OUT.
- Rocker Amanda, who as a person I really enjoy, but as a singer isn't a good fit for this show, I fear (both the hard-rocker thing and the can't-sing-a-simple-melody-very-well thing)
- Kady Malloy, who had two bad weeks in a row—she's dynamite in her clips, but can't seem to make the magic last for more than just one night
(re: Brooke: Mrs C, I totally agree that the facial expression needs to be in sync with the song's message, but I'm not sure I agree that "You're So Vain" is a song of heartbreak and sadness. I've always heard it as a song of empowerment and perspective, and Brooke's sly, confident smile was very appropriate to that interpretation. I need to reflect on the lyrics some more.)
Lady C, trying to decide between choir practice or Thursday night TV and more Chardonnay, and OUT.
eh...
What a downer was Girls Night In. Crikey-such a mess!
Girl #1: I love Heart, and Carly sang it well enough, but like Brunie mentioned, she does not connect with me. I feel nothing for her. And she still could use some dental bonding.
Girl #2: Pitchy and disappointing.
Girl #3: (Blonde #1) Would I believe that she went to Beauty School? Yes. How many times can I say that I hate it when singers smile while singing lyrics of heart-break/sadness/pain. She sang OK, but I don't believe her.
Girl#4: If you refer to my archived posts, you will read about my uniform of universal flattery for girls. Very long jeans, that cover high heels almost right to the floor and a mostly to partly fitted shirt depending on the thickness of one's middle. This uniform maximizes height and slenderness. Ramiel once again wore pants that taper to her ankles. You must be at least 5'9" with an overall skinniness to look good on TV in tapered pants. Trust me on this. If Ramiel is taller than 5' I would be shocked.
Girl #5: (Blonde#2) Now, here is an example of obedience to my uniform code. Kristy Lee wore very long dark pants over heels with a fitted top. She looked great! She sounded OK. However, it is usually best to end a song quickly than it is to draaaaag it out trying to squeeze in as many notes as you can before your time is up.
Girl #6: We love a smart reader, and Amanda is cool, but the song just kinda got away from her.
Girl #7: (Blonde #3) Poor crazy food freak - I know a good psychologist, Honey. She was hopelessly devoted to old fashioned clothing and style. Kinda sharp on the high notes, and really, just ordinary.
Girl #8: Alexandrea did a good job, but I wish she had busted loose and done something interesting with the song.
Girl #9 (Blonde #4) She almost fell down the stairs and maybe that made her all nervous and unable to sing even one properly pitched note. She seemed really uncomfortable like she was gonna fall off of her shoes any minute.
Girl #10: Oy! I am sorry that she was sick, but damn, that whole song was off. Flat low notes, disappearing high notes, and I just hate that "gospel jaw" when she shakes her jaw on the vibrato. That was just sad.
Overall a great big disappointment with the girlies. I dont' know why they were all so very mediocre. Maybe we could just get rid of 6 or 7 of them tonight and we could save a lot of time.
Love & Kisses,
Mrs. Cynicletary
Girl #1: I love Heart, and Carly sang it well enough, but like Brunie mentioned, she does not connect with me. I feel nothing for her. And she still could use some dental bonding.
Girl #2: Pitchy and disappointing.
Girl #3: (Blonde #1) Would I believe that she went to Beauty School? Yes. How many times can I say that I hate it when singers smile while singing lyrics of heart-break/sadness/pain. She sang OK, but I don't believe her.
Girl#4: If you refer to my archived posts, you will read about my uniform of universal flattery for girls. Very long jeans, that cover high heels almost right to the floor and a mostly to partly fitted shirt depending on the thickness of one's middle. This uniform maximizes height and slenderness. Ramiel once again wore pants that taper to her ankles. You must be at least 5'9" with an overall skinniness to look good on TV in tapered pants. Trust me on this. If Ramiel is taller than 5' I would be shocked.
Girl #5: (Blonde#2) Now, here is an example of obedience to my uniform code. Kristy Lee wore very long dark pants over heels with a fitted top. She looked great! She sounded OK. However, it is usually best to end a song quickly than it is to draaaaag it out trying to squeeze in as many notes as you can before your time is up.
Girl #6: We love a smart reader, and Amanda is cool, but the song just kinda got away from her.
Girl #7: (Blonde #3) Poor crazy food freak - I know a good psychologist, Honey. She was hopelessly devoted to old fashioned clothing and style. Kinda sharp on the high notes, and really, just ordinary.
Girl #8: Alexandrea did a good job, but I wish she had busted loose and done something interesting with the song.
Girl #9 (Blonde #4) She almost fell down the stairs and maybe that made her all nervous and unable to sing even one properly pitched note. She seemed really uncomfortable like she was gonna fall off of her shoes any minute.
Girl #10: Oy! I am sorry that she was sick, but damn, that whole song was off. Flat low notes, disappearing high notes, and I just hate that "gospel jaw" when she shakes her jaw on the vibrato. That was just sad.
Overall a great big disappointment with the girlies. I dont' know why they were all so very mediocre. Maybe we could just get rid of 6 or 7 of them tonight and we could save a lot of time.
Love & Kisses,
Mrs. Cynicletary
The Girls and the Mamas
We watched at Joe Mama’s house (if you remember, he is Wilbur’s best friend and his parents are a HOOT!) and once again, there were snacks and letting the dog chase the children during commercials. It is a fun party atmosphere in which to watch, but as a result I can’t type as I view which makes it hard to go into detail.
So once again, TiVo is saving my bacon and allowing me to watch the end roundup to see if I can remember the performances.
Carly Smithson opened with CRAZY ON YOU which she was pretty much born to sing. She likes to cook and clean and there is a little switch on the back of her neck that her hubby presses each night before he puts her back in her carrying case. Which was my problem with her performance. She can sing beautifully, no doubt, but she doesn’t connect with the audience, or at least me. I think she might be a good terminator sent from the future to protect John Connor. With music.
Syesha Mercado on the other hand sparkled like crazy singing ME AND MR. JONES which sounded great and I loved it. Her big secret is that she has made local commercials. The line they showed her saying was hilarious and I am sure it will be on youtube so that I can memorize it and make my children crazy. Simon made his usual incredibly stupid remark about it not being written for a girl. Guess what Simon, half of the audience has never heard this song because they are 10. If I were a voting girl, I would have called for her.
Brooke White sang YOU'RE SO VAIN. Her secret is that she went to beauty school. She sounded good and she wasn’t looking at Simon so much, but it was funny that she kind of did. I like her more than I thought I would. See how vague these opinions are? Dang you Mamas and your hospitality!
Ramiele Malubay (former dancer) sang DON’T LEAVE ME THIS WAY and sounded fine, although I hate her hair. I like her personality. I can’t remember why, but I am hoping she sticks around.
Kristy Lee Cook and her boobs sang YOU’RE NO GOOD. I enjoyed her performance a lot (and Mr. Mama and young Fred, who is entirely too adolescent for his own good, enjoyed her top) and I am glad that last week’s problems were sickness related and that she can sing more than Amazing Grace. She is a tomboy and likes to get dirty. Do not even get me started on the response that comment received from the peanut gallery.
Amanda Overmeyer tried to change things up much to her detriment with CARRY ON MY WAYWARD SON. She does not have a good voice for melodies. Which sounded crazy to me when Randy said it, but is entirely true. So I guess we should just get used to her sounding like Janis forever. That being said – she is a reader! How can I not love her? I hope she stays and stays and maybe she can teach some of the other idols to read!
Alaina Whitaker sang HOPELESSLY DEVOTED TO YOU and sounded fine. She is cute as a bug, but I find her so uninteresting that it took me ages to remember that she doesn’t like her food to touch. Really. That is the most fascinating secret she has.
Alexandrea Lushington sang IF YOU LEAVE ME NOW and if memory serves she was told it was too safe a choice. So I guess sounding awesome isn’t enough. Bah. I really like her she was my second favorite after Syesha. And her dad is an extremely good looking firefighter and as a result she once sand at ground zero. (And her outfit was loathed by the Crow/Mamas.)
Kady Malloy, it was good to know you. She did more damage to MAGIC MAN than Rissa Gietz and I did when we accidentally on purpose scratched up her brothers Heart album when we were 11. But she sings opera and seems to have pipes, so maybe it is all for the best that she is almost certainly going home tonight.
Asia’h Epperson sang ALL BY MYSELF which I could have sworn was by Eric Carmen (stolen from Rachmaninoff) but apparently is “owned” by Celine Dion. If ever there was a reason to go to war with Canada… (I am joking! I love Canada. My sister and her husband might be moving to British Columbia and I am so excited I could spit! But I do loathe Celine Dion on principle.) She sounded good but hilariously the judges who chided several contestants for “safe” choices, told brave Asia’h that she shouldn’t have attempted this musical Everest. Oh the irony! Or the hypocrisy. I can’t tell which.
So her is hoping that it is Kady and Alaina or Carly (yeah, right) going home. But I don’t think Syesha, Kristy Lee or Amanda are entirely safe either! Quite the horserace!
Brunie, OUT!
So once again, TiVo is saving my bacon and allowing me to watch the end roundup to see if I can remember the performances.
Carly Smithson opened with CRAZY ON YOU which she was pretty much born to sing. She likes to cook and clean and there is a little switch on the back of her neck that her hubby presses each night before he puts her back in her carrying case. Which was my problem with her performance. She can sing beautifully, no doubt, but she doesn’t connect with the audience, or at least me. I think she might be a good terminator sent from the future to protect John Connor. With music.
Syesha Mercado on the other hand sparkled like crazy singing ME AND MR. JONES which sounded great and I loved it. Her big secret is that she has made local commercials. The line they showed her saying was hilarious and I am sure it will be on youtube so that I can memorize it and make my children crazy. Simon made his usual incredibly stupid remark about it not being written for a girl. Guess what Simon, half of the audience has never heard this song because they are 10. If I were a voting girl, I would have called for her.
Brooke White sang YOU'RE SO VAIN. Her secret is that she went to beauty school. She sounded good and she wasn’t looking at Simon so much, but it was funny that she kind of did. I like her more than I thought I would. See how vague these opinions are? Dang you Mamas and your hospitality!
Ramiele Malubay (former dancer) sang DON’T LEAVE ME THIS WAY and sounded fine, although I hate her hair. I like her personality. I can’t remember why, but I am hoping she sticks around.
Kristy Lee Cook and her boobs sang YOU’RE NO GOOD. I enjoyed her performance a lot (and Mr. Mama and young Fred, who is entirely too adolescent for his own good, enjoyed her top) and I am glad that last week’s problems were sickness related and that she can sing more than Amazing Grace. She is a tomboy and likes to get dirty. Do not even get me started on the response that comment received from the peanut gallery.
Amanda Overmeyer tried to change things up much to her detriment with CARRY ON MY WAYWARD SON. She does not have a good voice for melodies. Which sounded crazy to me when Randy said it, but is entirely true. So I guess we should just get used to her sounding like Janis forever. That being said – she is a reader! How can I not love her? I hope she stays and stays and maybe she can teach some of the other idols to read!
Alaina Whitaker sang HOPELESSLY DEVOTED TO YOU and sounded fine. She is cute as a bug, but I find her so uninteresting that it took me ages to remember that she doesn’t like her food to touch. Really. That is the most fascinating secret she has.
Alexandrea Lushington sang IF YOU LEAVE ME NOW and if memory serves she was told it was too safe a choice. So I guess sounding awesome isn’t enough. Bah. I really like her she was my second favorite after Syesha. And her dad is an extremely good looking firefighter and as a result she once sand at ground zero. (And her outfit was loathed by the Crow/Mamas.)
Kady Malloy, it was good to know you. She did more damage to MAGIC MAN than Rissa Gietz and I did when we accidentally on purpose scratched up her brothers Heart album when we were 11. But she sings opera and seems to have pipes, so maybe it is all for the best that she is almost certainly going home tonight.
Asia’h Epperson sang ALL BY MYSELF which I could have sworn was by Eric Carmen (stolen from Rachmaninoff) but apparently is “owned” by Celine Dion. If ever there was a reason to go to war with Canada… (I am joking! I love Canada. My sister and her husband might be moving to British Columbia and I am so excited I could spit! But I do loathe Celine Dion on principle.) She sounded good but hilariously the judges who chided several contestants for “safe” choices, told brave Asia’h that she shouldn’t have attempted this musical Everest. Oh the irony! Or the hypocrisy. I can’t tell which.
So her is hoping that it is Kady and Alaina or Carly (yeah, right) going home. But I don’t think Syesha, Kristy Lee or Amanda are entirely safe either! Quite the horserace!
Brunie, OUT!
Wednesday, February 27, 2008
Not without surprises
As my fabulous and observant co-bloggers have already written - some of the worst performers last week turned out to be some of the best this week, and some of the best last week were the worst this week. My quick takes:
Boy 1 - One of the Davids who was great last week. This song was pitched WAY TOO HIGH for him, and it seemed like it was too fast for him to sing as well. Not good.
Boy 2 - Happy Dread Boy - it was almost OK.
Boy 3 - Maybe you should never sing Killer Queen without a band. And without Freddie Mercury. Ick. And if you don't know how to pronounce Moet & Chandon, just ask someone, dude.
Boy 4 - Robbie gettin' the NASCAR vote. Have I mentioned that NASCAR is one of the most moronic wastes of time and resources in the universe? Although Foreigner is NOT on my list of fave bands, I do have a soft spot for this song due to the following anecdote from my wild youth. I was at a New Year's Eve Party circa 1979 when slinky Danskin leotards and wrap skirts were all the rage. I was wearing said skimpy leotard and skirt with killer heels, and this was when a PERFECT BODY belonged to me. A bitchy jealous woman at the party says to my then boyfriend, "Isn't she freezing?" He replied, "She's Hot Blooded". Nice.
Boy 5 - I hated Miss Noriega so very much last week, but damn, he did OK last night! And I like that he acknowledged that last week was a big ol' mess.
Boy 6 - David with slanted nose did OK. I think that next week he will be even better and full of confidence after all the positive reinforcement from the judges.
Boy 7 - Jason is so fake and vegas-y and I really don't like him. Buh-Bye.
Boy 8 - CH-CH-CH-Cheezy - Another one whom I HATED last week, but did VERY WELL this week. Just DO NOT TALK BACK TO SIMON.
Boy 9 - I could hear the sound of Lady C. and Brunie falling for this kid as soon as he said "word nerd". He sounded very good but please stop winking at the camera. No one should wink at the camera while singing. EVER. Also, same advice as Cheboygan - do not talk back to Simon.
Boy 10 - Tiny Blues Brother. This song makes even the most cynical, cold-hearted MF'ers cry. So, that means me. This kid is so natural, so sincere, can he be real?? I think that it will be very very very difficult to beat this kid. Just a beautiful performance.
Let's see if any of the girlies can surprise me tonight.
Love & Kisses,
Mrs. Cynicletary
Boy 1 - One of the Davids who was great last week. This song was pitched WAY TOO HIGH for him, and it seemed like it was too fast for him to sing as well. Not good.
Boy 2 - Happy Dread Boy - it was almost OK.
Boy 3 - Maybe you should never sing Killer Queen without a band. And without Freddie Mercury. Ick. And if you don't know how to pronounce Moet & Chandon, just ask someone, dude.
Boy 4 - Robbie gettin' the NASCAR vote. Have I mentioned that NASCAR is one of the most moronic wastes of time and resources in the universe? Although Foreigner is NOT on my list of fave bands, I do have a soft spot for this song due to the following anecdote from my wild youth. I was at a New Year's Eve Party circa 1979 when slinky Danskin leotards and wrap skirts were all the rage. I was wearing said skimpy leotard and skirt with killer heels, and this was when a PERFECT BODY belonged to me. A bitchy jealous woman at the party says to my then boyfriend, "Isn't she freezing?" He replied, "She's Hot Blooded". Nice.
Boy 5 - I hated Miss Noriega so very much last week, but damn, he did OK last night! And I like that he acknowledged that last week was a big ol' mess.
Boy 6 - David with slanted nose did OK. I think that next week he will be even better and full of confidence after all the positive reinforcement from the judges.
Boy 7 - Jason is so fake and vegas-y and I really don't like him. Buh-Bye.
Boy 8 - CH-CH-CH-Cheezy - Another one whom I HATED last week, but did VERY WELL this week. Just DO NOT TALK BACK TO SIMON.
Boy 9 - I could hear the sound of Lady C. and Brunie falling for this kid as soon as he said "word nerd". He sounded very good but please stop winking at the camera. No one should wink at the camera while singing. EVER. Also, same advice as Cheboygan - do not talk back to Simon.
Boy 10 - Tiny Blues Brother. This song makes even the most cynical, cold-hearted MF'ers cry. So, that means me. This kid is so natural, so sincere, can he be real?? I think that it will be very very very difficult to beat this kid. Just a beautiful performance.
Let's see if any of the girlies can surprise me tonight.
Love & Kisses,
Mrs. Cynicletary
Tuesday, February 26, 2008
Two of the Five Senses
While I am waiting for the commercials to run themselves out I will be going back to describe each contestant’s “look”. I realized today that I don’t even see appearances anymore unless they are strange. So I will try to recap the visuals as well as the sounds and personalities.
Michael Johns
GO YOUR OWN WAY
[Jeans, a bright orange tee that says “Music gives me peace of mind” and David Cassidy’s hair from 1972.]
Rough, a little reedy at the top end. Not very creative arrangement. But Fleetwood Mac is ultimately a dull band. Not horrible but not my fave.
Jason Castro
I JUST WANT TO BE YOUR EVERYTHING
[Jeans, blouse and dreadlocks that practically take themselves to the parking lot of a Moe concert to busk for vegan corn dogs.]
Dang! He took a disco song and almost made it something else.
They still put the drum machine and disco-bass on it, but when it wasn’t on it sounded great! Liked it a lot.
Luke Menard
KILLER QUEEN
[Lost his razor, didn’t have time to wash his hair, dressed like a bus conductor and still so so pretty.]
Nice voice, but he mispronounced three words in the first few lines. And he looked silly. Didn’t love it.
Robbie Carrico
HOT BLOODED
[Unwashed, unshaven and still wearing the white shirt and black pants he had to wear for chorus in high school.]
Whoo Foriegner! He sounded okay, but he was still doing his boy band hand movements. He can not kick the habit. Didn’t love it.
Danny Noriega
SUPERSTAR
[Student council president]
What a beautiful voice! And he only curled his lip once. He had a nice peaceful face as he sang. I really liked it.
David Hernandez
PAPA WAS A ROLLIN’ STONE
[Jerry Seinfeld meets street corner hustler.]
He can sure sing. He does the boy band hand motions too!! And he makes funny faces. But he sounds fantastic. My favorite so far.
Jason Yeager
LONG TRAIN RUNNING
[One part Tom Cruise, three parts Brad Pitt, one part Cruella DeVille dressed like Johnny Cash.]
Surprisingly good white boy soul. He looked too happy, though. I thought he sounded better than the judges did. Obviously, they need to get rid of the pretty, dumb ones.
Chikeze
I BELIEVE
[Prep school tennis coach double polo and jeans.]
My favorite of the night! I knew he could sing it and sell it at the same time. And I truly don’t think he thought about saying you can’t wear something on tv twice. Hee…
David Cook
ALL RIGHT NOW
[10th grade boy in his first battle of the bands jeans and black – natch – tee.]
Okay, I do like that he called himself a word-nerd, but I still can’t stand him He sounded okay and he plays okay. But I am hoping that they send him away. It was nice of him to invite Endora and Vanessa Redgrave to watch him. And yet he is the new Constantine. I hate his hair.
David Archuletta
IMAGINE
[Jeans, leather jacket and a blue tee that it appears his Nana got to with her bedazzler.]
I HATE THIS SONG WITH THE PASSIONATE INTENSITY OF A THOUSAND BURNING SUNS! (Unless John Lennon is singing it.) And yet, I really did like Little Davy’s ™ version. He is the one to beat. (Hey, just as I typed that Simon said it! Now I shall type, Brunie is pretty. Say it Simon. Say it dammit!!)
I can’t stand the way that Simon dissed David Cook’s film about crosswords. He really did make the point that stupidity sells. And screw that. I mean, I hope David Cook leaves, but still – there is no shame in crosswords! Word searches, sure, but not crosswords!
Okay – So I am afraid Luke Menard and Jason Yeager are leaving. But I really hope that it is David Cook and Michael Johns (yeah right…)
I actually voted tonight. I don’t want Chikeze going home and I don’t want Danny Noriega going home. So I voted once for Danny and 3 times for Chkeze (I have a little crush. It’s those tiny teeth in his great big smile. And the hot hot voice. Yeah, I’ll say your name is Chkeze!) My little co-viewer wanted me to vote for Michael Johns so I did call once. And he wanted me to vote for Little Davy ™, but the line remained busy every time I tried. I think he is safe…
And now, to bed!
Brunie, OUT!
Michael Johns
GO YOUR OWN WAY
[Jeans, a bright orange tee that says “Music gives me peace of mind” and David Cassidy’s hair from 1972.]
Rough, a little reedy at the top end. Not very creative arrangement. But Fleetwood Mac is ultimately a dull band. Not horrible but not my fave.
Jason Castro
I JUST WANT TO BE YOUR EVERYTHING
[Jeans, blouse and dreadlocks that practically take themselves to the parking lot of a Moe concert to busk for vegan corn dogs.]
Dang! He took a disco song and almost made it something else.
They still put the drum machine and disco-bass on it, but when it wasn’t on it sounded great! Liked it a lot.
Luke Menard
KILLER QUEEN
[Lost his razor, didn’t have time to wash his hair, dressed like a bus conductor and still so so pretty.]
Nice voice, but he mispronounced three words in the first few lines. And he looked silly. Didn’t love it.
Robbie Carrico
HOT BLOODED
[Unwashed, unshaven and still wearing the white shirt and black pants he had to wear for chorus in high school.]
Whoo Foriegner! He sounded okay, but he was still doing his boy band hand movements. He can not kick the habit. Didn’t love it.
Danny Noriega
SUPERSTAR
[Student council president]
What a beautiful voice! And he only curled his lip once. He had a nice peaceful face as he sang. I really liked it.
David Hernandez
PAPA WAS A ROLLIN’ STONE
[Jerry Seinfeld meets street corner hustler.]
He can sure sing. He does the boy band hand motions too!! And he makes funny faces. But he sounds fantastic. My favorite so far.
Jason Yeager
LONG TRAIN RUNNING
[One part Tom Cruise, three parts Brad Pitt, one part Cruella DeVille dressed like Johnny Cash.]
Surprisingly good white boy soul. He looked too happy, though. I thought he sounded better than the judges did. Obviously, they need to get rid of the pretty, dumb ones.
Chikeze
I BELIEVE
[Prep school tennis coach double polo and jeans.]
My favorite of the night! I knew he could sing it and sell it at the same time. And I truly don’t think he thought about saying you can’t wear something on tv twice. Hee…
David Cook
ALL RIGHT NOW
[10th grade boy in his first battle of the bands jeans and black – natch – tee.]
Okay, I do like that he called himself a word-nerd, but I still can’t stand him He sounded okay and he plays okay. But I am hoping that they send him away. It was nice of him to invite Endora and Vanessa Redgrave to watch him. And yet he is the new Constantine. I hate his hair.
David Archuletta
IMAGINE
[Jeans, leather jacket and a blue tee that it appears his Nana got to with her bedazzler.]
I HATE THIS SONG WITH THE PASSIONATE INTENSITY OF A THOUSAND BURNING SUNS! (Unless John Lennon is singing it.) And yet, I really did like Little Davy’s ™ version. He is the one to beat. (Hey, just as I typed that Simon said it! Now I shall type, Brunie is pretty. Say it Simon. Say it dammit!!)
I can’t stand the way that Simon dissed David Cook’s film about crosswords. He really did make the point that stupidity sells. And screw that. I mean, I hope David Cook leaves, but still – there is no shame in crosswords! Word searches, sure, but not crosswords!
Okay – So I am afraid Luke Menard and Jason Yeager are leaving. But I really hope that it is David Cook and Michael Johns (yeah right…)
I actually voted tonight. I don’t want Chikeze going home and I don’t want Danny Noriega going home. So I voted once for Danny and 3 times for Chkeze (I have a little crush. It’s those tiny teeth in his great big smile. And the hot hot voice. Yeah, I’ll say your name is Chkeze!) My little co-viewer wanted me to vote for Michael Johns so I did call once. And he wanted me to vote for Little Davy ™, but the line remained busy every time I tried. I think he is safe…
And now, to bed!
Brunie, OUT!
"I'm a huge word nerd"
(Me too! Me too! I love you, David Cook! But I'm getting ahead of myself)
So about those boys . . .
What an odd night! Last week's golden boys, Michael Johns and Jason Castro, were strangely ordinary; last week's train wreck Chikezie was one of the breakout stars; Luke Menard and Danny Noriega really stepped up; and the only sure thing seems to be little munchkin David Archuleta (gee, what rhymes with "anointed"?). Oh, and that Robbie will STILL be trying to convince Simon that he's authentic, right until the day he's voted off. Keep fightin' the good fight, Robbie.
David Hernandez, who performed quite well on Week 1, did an awesome "Papa Was a Rolling Stone." Not sure why every judge forgot they liked him fine last week, but whatever. Tonight they loooooove him, and that's a good thing.
Personally, I love me some David Cook, my confident rocker, I have from Day 1, and charisma is in the eye of the beholder, SIMON. This cat's got charisma to burn, in my book. Love his voice, love his stage presence, love his UN-BORING CROSSWORD PUZZLE ADDICTION (grrrr! my rage is still at "simmer"), love love love him. He is my favorite boy. (Lady Darcy, check out this guy; doesn't he look like my long-lost love, the Wedding Singer?)
Going home on Thursday, pretty much for sure, is poor ol' Jason Yeager (hair streak), who we never saw before and who never really had it going on. Joining him—that's a crapshoot. Jason C, Luke, Danny? Those seem the likeliest. But I really don't know.
I voted for David Cook, Chikezie, and David Hernandez, and Mimosa asked me to vote for Jason Castro ("I'd like to touch his hair," she said), and had no trouble getting through for any of them—not a good sign, usually. We shall see.
Bring on the singing girls!
Lady Chardonnay, still seething but less so, and OUT.
So about those boys . . .
What an odd night! Last week's golden boys, Michael Johns and Jason Castro, were strangely ordinary; last week's train wreck Chikezie was one of the breakout stars; Luke Menard and Danny Noriega really stepped up; and the only sure thing seems to be little munchkin David Archuleta (gee, what rhymes with "anointed"?). Oh, and that Robbie will STILL be trying to convince Simon that he's authentic, right until the day he's voted off. Keep fightin' the good fight, Robbie.
David Hernandez, who performed quite well on Week 1, did an awesome "Papa Was a Rolling Stone." Not sure why every judge forgot they liked him fine last week, but whatever. Tonight they loooooove him, and that's a good thing.
Personally, I love me some David Cook, my confident rocker, I have from Day 1, and charisma is in the eye of the beholder, SIMON. This cat's got charisma to burn, in my book. Love his voice, love his stage presence, love his UN-BORING CROSSWORD PUZZLE ADDICTION (grrrr! my rage is still at "simmer"), love love love him. He is my favorite boy. (Lady Darcy, check out this guy; doesn't he look like my long-lost love, the Wedding Singer?)
Going home on Thursday, pretty much for sure, is poor ol' Jason Yeager (hair streak), who we never saw before and who never really had it going on. Joining him—that's a crapshoot. Jason C, Luke, Danny? Those seem the likeliest. But I really don't know.
I voted for David Cook, Chikezie, and David Hernandez, and Mimosa asked me to vote for Jason Castro ("I'd like to touch his hair," she said), and had no trouble getting through for any of them—not a good sign, usually. We shall see.
Bring on the singing girls!
Lady Chardonnay, still seething but less so, and OUT.
Liar Liar Pants on Fire!
Simon, I am talking to YOU. And I'm dealing with my rage by blogging rather than, I dunno, drinking heavily, as I otherwise might.
"The criticism is meant to be constructive"??? HORSE MANURE.
What is constructive about loudly wishing this were the Oscars and people could be cut off by music? Poor dumb Jason was answering an inane question posed to him by Ryan, on national TV. He's supposed to say, "Sorry, Ryan, I don't want to bore Simon"? Really?
Simon's job is to be outrageously rude. This gets people to watch his show, which gets people to watch the commercials that are paying for his show. PERIOD.
He is a very smart man and often has an astute take on things, but would we tune in to hear him express himself nicely? If he actually did provide constructive criticism, would this show be such a monster hit? I think not.
And the thing is—up until this year, I thought he knew that. But this year, he's taking himself WAY too seriously, and it is so not fun to watch.
Sometimes Simon is smart and funny, but more and more he is simply an ass. And—enough already.
Lady Chardonnay OUT.
"The criticism is meant to be constructive"??? HORSE MANURE.
What is constructive about loudly wishing this were the Oscars and people could be cut off by music? Poor dumb Jason was answering an inane question posed to him by Ryan, on national TV. He's supposed to say, "Sorry, Ryan, I don't want to bore Simon"? Really?
Simon's job is to be outrageously rude. This gets people to watch his show, which gets people to watch the commercials that are paying for his show. PERIOD.
He is a very smart man and often has an astute take on things, but would we tune in to hear him express himself nicely? If he actually did provide constructive criticism, would this show be such a monster hit? I think not.
And the thing is—up until this year, I thought he knew that. But this year, he's taking himself WAY too seriously, and it is so not fun to watch.
Sometimes Simon is smart and funny, but more and more he is simply an ass. And—enough already.
Lady Chardonnay OUT.
Thursday, February 21, 2008
"The best Top 24 in Idol history"
(R. Seacrest, 2-21-08, 8:01 p.m.)
Okay, relentless pimping aside, I will agree that there are far fewer obvious weak links than there usually are at this stage. The "weakest" girl, in my opinion, was Amy Davis, who sang "Where the Boys Are" in a perfectly pretty voice. If she's the weakest girl, the girls are doin' all right. The boys' weakest link, I think, is young Garrett Haley (Peter Frampton's son), who also has a nice voice; I think he's just a little too young and unformed, musically, to compete with the others. (Chikezie did not have a great night, but I've heard him sing before, and I think he is really good. I hope he gets another chance. But, word to the wise: If you're going to mouth off to Simon, you have to be really, really good at it. Learn from the sad tale of Chris Sligh, Cheez Man.)
I had this little realization today about Jason Castro (Mr. Dreadlocks). We're seeing him, basically, for the first time, so last night it was all "Who's this guy?" and "What's with the hair?" and "Okay, he sounds all right." Then came the judges' tongue bath, and I almost fell over. He wasn't bad, not at all, but he wasn't GREAT, I don't think. But then I realized: They're not seeing him for the first time, they've known him for weeks and months, and every time he performs they're seeing everything he's ever done and the personality they've come to love in addition to what he's doing right at that moment. Which is what we all do. It would be nice if we could know each person in the Top 24 at that level, and maybe one day the show will give us this opportunity. But until that happy day comes, the people we know the least are still the first ones we vote off, almost without exception.
Going home tonight:
Garrett
Colton (Ellen) or Jason (hair streak & son)
Amy
Alaina or Kady or Kristy Lee (interchangeable blonde girls)—and I hope it's Alaina, even though it's her birthday. Actually, I don't care if it's Kristy Lee, though I feel bad about her horse; I just don't want it to be Kady
Mrs C, Luke is all kinds of pretty, but I don't see my spiritual husband Hugh Jackman, per se. Of course, being my husband and all, I know his face intimately. Luke can dream . . .
Lady C OUT!
Okay, relentless pimping aside, I will agree that there are far fewer obvious weak links than there usually are at this stage. The "weakest" girl, in my opinion, was Amy Davis, who sang "Where the Boys Are" in a perfectly pretty voice. If she's the weakest girl, the girls are doin' all right. The boys' weakest link, I think, is young Garrett Haley (Peter Frampton's son), who also has a nice voice; I think he's just a little too young and unformed, musically, to compete with the others. (Chikezie did not have a great night, but I've heard him sing before, and I think he is really good. I hope he gets another chance. But, word to the wise: If you're going to mouth off to Simon, you have to be really, really good at it. Learn from the sad tale of Chris Sligh, Cheez Man.)
I had this little realization today about Jason Castro (Mr. Dreadlocks). We're seeing him, basically, for the first time, so last night it was all "Who's this guy?" and "What's with the hair?" and "Okay, he sounds all right." Then came the judges' tongue bath, and I almost fell over. He wasn't bad, not at all, but he wasn't GREAT, I don't think. But then I realized: They're not seeing him for the first time, they've known him for weeks and months, and every time he performs they're seeing everything he's ever done and the personality they've come to love in addition to what he's doing right at that moment. Which is what we all do. It would be nice if we could know each person in the Top 24 at that level, and maybe one day the show will give us this opportunity. But until that happy day comes, the people we know the least are still the first ones we vote off, almost without exception.
Going home tonight:
Garrett
Colton (Ellen) or Jason (hair streak & son)
Amy
Alaina or Kady or Kristy Lee (interchangeable blonde girls)—and I hope it's Alaina, even though it's her birthday. Actually, I don't care if it's Kristy Lee, though I feel bad about her horse; I just don't want it to be Kady
Mrs C, Luke is all kinds of pretty, but I don't see my spiritual husband Hugh Jackman, per se. Of course, being my husband and all, I know his face intimately. Luke can dream . . .
Lady C OUT!
Those who shall remain nameless.
It is only with careful note-taking that I am able to remember anything about most of these kids. They remain numbers to me until they prove themselves. Except that I have a dim memory of most of the boys being named David. So, in that cold, heartless spirit for which I am renowned, here we go:
NAMELESS BOYS:
Boy#1 - I liked him, I think he has potential. I think he's one of the many Davids.
Boy#2 - I kinda remember his name is something like Cheekago or something. Dude, the suit is heinous! And I hate that mouthy back talk that some kids give Simon. Just shut up and take it, we don't even know your name yet, Cheezsammich!
Boy#3 - Eh - hate that little cheesy sideways smile.
Boy #4 - My Mother used to sing this song to my Dad. 'Nuff Said. Hated it.
Boy#5 - I like One is the Loneliest Number - a great song, an OK rendition.
Boy#6 - The tiny white Blues Brother. Love him!
Boy#7 - Jailhouse LAME!
Boy#8 - Mr. Cynicletary says that this guy kinda looks like Hugh Jackman - Lady C - do you agree - does he look like one of your many faux-husbands? He reminded me of Donny Osmond. And that ain't good.
Boy #9 - Boy singing Suspicious Minds - DO NOT SMILE WHILE SINGING OF HORRIBLE BREAK-UPS!!
Boy#10 - Peter Frampton's secret love child. I think he has potential if he could stop being terrified.
Boy#11 - Happy dread lock guy with happy singing style. I happy him.
Boy#12 - Damn - pretty good, oh nameless one!
I hope Cheezit and Ultra lame Jailhouse Rock singer go bye bye tonight.
NAMELESS GIRLS:
Girl #1 - BORING
Girl#2- FLAT
Girl #3- ORDINARY
Girl #4- The first interesting performer of the night - she rocked it!
Girl # 5- I like the song Where the Boys Are - too bad she did NOTHING with it!
Girl #6 - Still just singing the song plain and easy - please, do SOMETHING with the song!
Girl #7- OK, I remember this name because she and Ryan said it like 20 times. Alexandrea Lushington. Lushington - isn't that your maiden name, Lady Chardonnay?? She was young and entertaining, thank you, Miss Lushington.
Girl #8: Personality is funny and cool, vocals just OK last night.
Girl #9 - Good! Young! Loose!
Girl #10 - Another good song - You Don't Have to Say You Love Me...not bad on the vocals, but her outfit was way too casual and unflattering.
Girl #11 - GREAT VOICE!
Girl #12 - Strong voice, bad teeth.
Any two girls #1, 2, 3, 5 or 6 can go tonight and I will never have wasted a brain cell on remembering their names.
Love & Kisses,
Mrs. Cynicletary
NAMELESS BOYS:
Boy#1 - I liked him, I think he has potential. I think he's one of the many Davids.
Boy#2 - I kinda remember his name is something like Cheekago or something. Dude, the suit is heinous! And I hate that mouthy back talk that some kids give Simon. Just shut up and take it, we don't even know your name yet, Cheezsammich!
Boy#3 - Eh - hate that little cheesy sideways smile.
Boy #4 - My Mother used to sing this song to my Dad. 'Nuff Said. Hated it.
Boy#5 - I like One is the Loneliest Number - a great song, an OK rendition.
Boy#6 - The tiny white Blues Brother. Love him!
Boy#7 - Jailhouse LAME!
Boy#8 - Mr. Cynicletary says that this guy kinda looks like Hugh Jackman - Lady C - do you agree - does he look like one of your many faux-husbands? He reminded me of Donny Osmond. And that ain't good.
Boy #9 - Boy singing Suspicious Minds - DO NOT SMILE WHILE SINGING OF HORRIBLE BREAK-UPS!!
Boy#10 - Peter Frampton's secret love child. I think he has potential if he could stop being terrified.
Boy#11 - Happy dread lock guy with happy singing style. I happy him.
Boy#12 - Damn - pretty good, oh nameless one!
I hope Cheezit and Ultra lame Jailhouse Rock singer go bye bye tonight.
NAMELESS GIRLS:
Girl #1 - BORING
Girl#2- FLAT
Girl #3- ORDINARY
Girl #4- The first interesting performer of the night - she rocked it!
Girl # 5- I like the song Where the Boys Are - too bad she did NOTHING with it!
Girl #6 - Still just singing the song plain and easy - please, do SOMETHING with the song!
Girl #7- OK, I remember this name because she and Ryan said it like 20 times. Alexandrea Lushington. Lushington - isn't that your maiden name, Lady Chardonnay?? She was young and entertaining, thank you, Miss Lushington.
Girl #8: Personality is funny and cool, vocals just OK last night.
Girl #9 - Good! Young! Loose!
Girl #10 - Another good song - You Don't Have to Say You Love Me...not bad on the vocals, but her outfit was way too casual and unflattering.
Girl #11 - GREAT VOICE!
Girl #12 - Strong voice, bad teeth.
Any two girls #1, 2, 3, 5 or 6 can go tonight and I will never have wasted a brain cell on remembering their names.
Love & Kisses,
Mrs. Cynicletary
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